Mistake 22. Excessive compliance Why are we sometimes so easy to control? Does it happen that you buy completely unnecessary thing, just because it’s inconvenient for you to leave without buying after the seller paid attention to you for half an hour, demonstrating his product? How often?

Mistake 28. Excessive gullibility Why are we gullible? Gullibility is not a vice at all! This is a natural quality of a person. All people are born trusting. A baby comes into this world because at the genetic level he “knows”: this world will accept him and give him everything

IN modern society A sucker is considered to be a naive, trouble-free person who is used by other people for their own purposes. Simply put, a sucker is a person who has been deceived by a bully.

If your characteristics match this description, perhaps you are simply too kind a person. But excessive kindness will not add happiness to a person when all he does is find himself in ridiculous situations, because of which he feels like a failure. Try to understand the reasons for your failures, then you yourself will find the answer to the question of how to stop being a sucker.

Features of suckers

The reasons that other people are taking advantage of you can be anything. For example: low self-esteem, phlegmatic character type, not entirely correct upbringing in childhood, bad life experiences in the past, lack of intelligence, excessive kindness, inability to behave in unusual situations. What makes people succumb to other people's influence and be a loser?

The main problems of suckers:

1. Excessive generosity or greed. Society doesn't like greedy people, so being in
   team, do not skimp on drink and food, share items if asked. But you shouldn’t run at the first call and fulfill all the demands of your colleagues; do everything in moderation. If you notice that you are being used, fight back immediately. They may talk to you politely, but behind your back they will laugh and call you a sucker;
2. Diffidence. Getting into new team, immediately win people’s favor and gain respect for yourself, as it will be very difficult to do this later. Express your point of view, don’t think that you are doing something wrong, then people will consider you an individual. Don’t apologize to a person if you’re not at fault, don’t agree with everything he says to please you. In general, be yourself;
3. Fear of society, fear of offending a person, seeing his reaction, not meeting expectations, being threatened, ruining your relationship with him. Usually people who are afraid of saying no will exaggerate, thereby only complicating the situation.
4. Trust in everything.

Learn to fight back

Here is a list of questions that often run through the minds of losers: “What will people think of me? How can I refuse? How will a person react to rejection? What if he doesn't like what I say? Perhaps I will cause him inconvenience?

In order not to be a sucker in life, you should think differently: “I don’t care who thinks what. I won't do anything I don't want to do. Why do I need this trouble? It’s easier to immediately let the person know that he attacked the wrong person. I need this, and I will achieve my goal. If I cause problems for someone, let them say so themselves, and don’t rely on my politeness!”

Such thoughts need to be scrolled through your head in certain situations for confidence. Of course, you don't need to talk rudely to anyone. Learn to say “no” to people gently but confidently. Write down a list of potential requests and questions that people might ask, and then come up with and write down answers to them. Practice a few phrases in front of the mirror.

Try to refuse people more often what you don’t want, they won’t beat you for it, they’ll rather respect you.

And you shouldn’t even talk to those who begin to put pressure on your conscience. In this case, people use phrases like: “You are so heartless, selfish. Aren't you sorry? Can't you understand me, put yourself in my position? I will do the same to you!”. These are banal methods of manipulation.

Don't trust everyone

Not all people are as honest and kind as they seem. Always be wary of people you don’t know well, but don’t show it so as not to offend them. For example, there is no need to ask to look after your bag stranger. Do not let the first person you meet call from your phone if he asks you to do so. Don’t believe it if they try to sell you something, convincing you that you can’t live without it. Read as much information as possible about scammers on the Internet, be prepared for all their tricks.

You need to understand that comrades and friends do not always tell the truth. If a friend refuses to meet you, citing some problems, maybe he just doesn’t want to spend time with you, but out of politeness he doesn’t talk about it. Therefore, you don’t need to run and solve your friend’s problems so that only he can spend time with you, especially if he doesn’t ask for it himself.

A sucker is the one who believes in it himself

Why are some people happy and successful, while others are failures?

The status of a loser does not come on its own; people come up with it in their own heads. In fact, we are all the same, the only difference is how we position ourselves. Not a single piece of advice on how to stop being a loser and a sucker in life will help if you continue to consider yourself a loser.

If you try only to prove to people otherwise, then nothing will work. Tell yourself: “I am a strong personality, I am successful”. Don’t just say it, but sincerely believe it, repeat a similar phrase in your thoughts several times a day.

Features of a strong personality

It turns out that among women the topic is "How to become a strong personality" is no less relevant than studying foreign language. Is it really possible to change your character for the better, develop willpower, and get rid of complexes? With the help of a psychologist, this is possible, the main thing is the desire, motivation and desire to change.

What makes it different strong personality from others:

• determination;
• reliability;
• trained willpower;
• constant ;
• self-confidence and self-confidence;
• ability to get out of any situation thanks to logical thinking and cause-and-effect relationships, thinking through actions in advance;
• intelligence, ability to improvise.

All these features can be developed by anyone who specifically knows what they want.

Becoming a strong person

With the help of seven steps, you can gain self-discipline, strengthen your strength of character, and stop being a sucker. Each step must be taken slowly. Do not move on to the next step until you have fully developed the habit of the previous one. It may take several months to complete such a psychological course, but both you and those around you will notice the effect.

7 steps to a strong personality:

1. Be responsible for your actions. Never rely on anyone, rely only on yourself. At
   In this case, do not push away your loved ones, know how to listen to them. Don't blame anyone for your problems.

Result: this task promotes the ability to listen to the advice of others, but make independent choices;

1. Achieve your goals. In life, “falling down” is not so scary as "don't go up". Set yourself a desired goal and achieve it, even if it scared you before. If you wanted to learn English, sign up for courses right now. All my life I dreamed of flying hot-air balloon and see the beauty of nature from a bird's eye view, but if you are afraid of heights - go ahead!

If you just can’t lose weight, no one will do it for you.

Result: willpower training, absence of phrases such as: “I can’t”, “not enough time and money”, "I'm afraid" , “nothing good will come of this”. After achieving one goal, you will gain confidence in your abilities, and it will be much easier to move towards the next goal;

1. To risk . Is there an opportunity to change your life for the better, to make your dream come true? Take action. This is what we live for! When, if not now? Why torture yourself at a job you don’t like, communicate with people who don’t respect you?

Result: the task will help you build your own life, and not give it into the hands of others;

1. Defend your point of view. If you believe that you should not offend those who are weaker, protect them. Conscience doesn't allow "spend money" people, don't do this. Stick to your principles and respect them.

Result: lack of fear to express your opinion, presence of common sense. Now won't you say: “they still do it”;

1. Don't allow yourself to be manipulated. Know how to refuse what you don’t need or that causes inconvenience.

Result: more energy and time for personal growth, increased self-esteem due to the understanding that you can influence the situation;

1. Constantly develop your horizons, increase intelligence. Read books you like
   take an interest in the biography of great people, learn something new every day, train your memory.

Result: The task contributes to the development of personality in your person. People are always more interested in communicating with competent interlocutors who have a broad outlook, so it’s unlikely that anyone will want to consider you a sucker;

Hello, dear readers! I once heard a speech by a renowned psychologist who argued that if a child is early age he doesn’t lie and doesn’t know how to deceive at all, this means that he is somehow not developing correctly. He is not able to seek and find benefits. Life will be difficult for such a person. Yes, the phrase that everyone lies is even too common.

How to stop being naive and gullible in this harsh world? Frankly speaking, this quality is not so bad. You are friendly to people and quickly make contact with others, but what to do if everyone does nothing but take advantage of your positive traits.

Let's find out everything from a psychological point of view right now.

Is everything so bad

As I already said, naivety and gullibility are generally not bad, and you should understand this. There are a lot of positive things about them.

After a year of courtship, the young man could not stand it and said: “I don’t understand why, if you met a scoundrel in your life, should I suffer because of it? I've never been fined yet. I've been on good behavior for so long now, we enjoy being together, we get along great, and I'm mature enough for us to have children. Why is it your fault that we still haven't had a baby? ex-husband. What did I do?".

According to the girl, after this cry from the heart, she fooled him for several more months and then gave up. They recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Remember, any person will not tolerate the need to constantly justify and defend himself, especially when he is not guilty.

If you want to succeed in love, then I can recommend you a book "Looking for Love" by Thomas Trobe. It will help pave the way from false trust to true trust. You will not be a naive fool, but at the same time you will allow a man to appear in your life and express himself with the best side. Many girls want to become more naive, and you are going to fight this quality.

sight

Before you think about fighting your “bad habits,” think about whether they really only bring you harm?

Understanding that you can be deceived may in itself be something that is so lacking. If you expect a blow or expect it to happen, you will accept it more easily. It is enough just that you remember about it and think about it periodically. That's all the protection is.

I can recommend you a book Charles Ford "The Psychology of Deception". It contains many methods for recognizing lies, reasons for lying, clues about lying styles, and even examples from the animal world when deception helps save lives. In general, a comprehensive analysis of this phenomenon. You will find it useful to read this book.

However, let other people prove to you that they can be trusted. Do not make hasty conclusions, but carry out preventive work. Which ones exactly? Tell less. Learn to prevent unnecessary stories and revelations from popping up in conversation. Think about what a person can use against you.

In principle, this is enough to protect yourself. There is no need to change radically. No different outlook on life or reassessment of values ​​is required. There is nothing wrong with naivety. Sooner or later you will definitely find those people who will appreciate you and will never deceive you. It may take a long time, but the game is worth the candle. This is what will be your true happiness - true friends and beloved family. For such benefits it is worth living and even suffering a little. How harder way, the greater the reward.

See you again and good luck. Believe in yourself and you will be happy. Very soon.

A naive, simple-minded attitude towards everything can bring a touching smile to those around you. It's so nice to meet a good-natured person who openly believes every joke. It threatens you with constant trouble, and you need to know how to fix it.

A slight degree of naivety will not hurt anyone, because not all situations require a serious approach. For example, in a relationship with a man, she only decorates, makes her want to take care and protect the poor thing from the harshness of the world around her. Constant faith in everyone and everything requires radical decisions. Excessive naivety, when the mistakes of the past are not perceived as experience, will only lead to tears from failed relationships, ruined plans, banter and misunderstandings. So let's start looking for these solutions, but first let's look at the reasons why naivety is dangerous.

You perceive reality incorrectly

An uncritical perception of the world makes you misunderstand current events, phrases, actions - you do not see their subtext, hidden reasons, which means that you initially incorrectly structure your reactions to events, your behavior. So, if you directly understood the man’s hint to “come for tea,” then you will be surprised by what is happening, and that’s putting it mildly.

“Partial” perception drives you into a world of illusions, where everything is contrasting, without halftones. A person is either good or bad for you, and you treat him accordingly. But this is already an evaluative delusion that limits you. And so it is in everything: every detail of the world is not fully perceived by you, which means it’s difficult for you to build your own life line. Your plans do not correspond to reality, so they are difficult or even impossible to implement.

You yourself are not taken seriously. This means that you are not assigned responsible tasks at work that could bring you a bonus or salary increase. This means that you are not perceived as a reliable friend. This means that they do not see you as a good wife and mother of their children. That's it, and the reason is simple naivety.

If previously such a touching character trait as naivety was highly valued in people, now, in a world full of cruelty and cynicism, it becomes almost global problem for its owner. People who look at the world through rose-colored glasses regularly become victims of scammers and often remain abandoned and deceived in their best feelings. And all because they believe others as themselves, innocently believing that the world consists only of So what is naivety, is it considered an advantage to have this quality and is it possible to get rid of it?

Is naivety a vice?

Naivety (from Latin nativus and French naif - innate) is the desire of the qualities originally inherent in nature (naturalness, openness, childish spontaneity) to refute the subsequently emerging ability to pretend. From this definition it follows that at a rapid pace modern life and growing cynicism, people began to wear masks, suppressing simplicity, sincerity and accepting the rules of a cruel reality where you can’t trust anyone but yourself. People forgot what naivety was and began to mock and deceive those who managed to maintain the purity of their souls.

The reason for a person’s naivety may lie in his cloudless and carefree life, when he has no need to defend himself from the outside world or fight with it. Such a person is not familiar with the rules of life and she has no need to lie, hiding her true nature. Whether this is good or bad is up to you to decide.

Is stupidity naivety?

Many people believe that naivety can be explained by a lack of intelligence. This is a misconception. Naivety is caused more by a lack of life experience than by intelligence. People with this quality are trusting, selfless, good-natured and look at the world from a slightly different angle, but it cannot be said with complete confidence that they are stupid. There is also the concept of "stupid naivety." Stupidly naive people sometimes have a very difficult time in this world. They sincerely trust those around them, without even thinking for a moment that they might be deceived. Stupid naivety is dangerous because it does not lend itself to any life lessons, does not obey experience, it is stubborn and, sadly, lifelong.

Love and naivety

A widespread type of innocence is female naivety. With their mouths open, women are ready to listen to their loved one’s tales for hours, forgiving him of all insults and betrayals. And not a single soul can convince them otherwise. They are firm and stubborn in their faith.

However, such naivety is not innate, and it is easy to get rid of it if you get seriously burned in a relationship. The expression “love is blind” is worth mentioning here. Love gives us a feeling of naivety, and together with the departed feelings, we take off our “rose-colored glasses.” So there is no clear line between desperate love and naivety.

How to get rid of “rose-colored glasses”

Is it possible and how to get rid of naivety? There is no specific cure for naivety, but if you understand that it prevents you from living, causing certain inconveniences, this is the first and important step towards combating the simplicity of the soul. Remember that naivety is the desire to escape, to isolate yourself from reality, the desire to see it differently from what it is.

By following these tips, you will be able to get rid of simplicity and openness of soul. However, the suddenly revealed reality can have a stunning appearance: cruel and unsightly. Therefore, before you take off your rose-colored glasses, think about whether you really want to see the world as it is?

So what is naivety: a conscious desire to hide from reality or the stupidity of the soul? The question is rhetorical. And each of us will be able to answer it in our own way, in accordance with our subjective worldview.