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Every day, a modern person is faced with various problems, of which there are infinitely many, and they are waiting for him literally at every turn, one of which is difficulties with communication. This article will just help resolve the question: "How to learn to communicate with people", and believe me, in fact it is not so scary, and the people around us are really better than they seem at first glance.

It is with the formation of the psychology of communication that the countdown of a civilized human society can begin, hence the urgency and importance of this problem. So what's the secret? How to communicate with people in order to be correctly understood?

The ability to communicate with people begins with the ability to interact. From day to day, each of us, in one way or another, getting into different life situations, interacts with the surrounding world and himself succumbs to its influence. All this is explained by the fact that man is by nature a social being. And life in society requires certain skills.

Probably, in everyone's life, there has come a moment when an obsessive thought was spinning in my head: "I do not know how to communicate with people." This is just simply one of the most common human complexes, and to admit it is to admit to yourself that you are weak. Can a smart person allow himself to be weak? Never, because this would mean that he admitted his own insolvency. And the modern rhythm of life does not allow this. Therefore, this problem is worth solving.

The ability to communicate with people is a skill that takes a long time and is difficult to learn. And in order to successfully solve this problem in the present situation, you need to seriously understand its origins.

The main reasons for communication difficulties

Most often, the basis of the problem with communication is the reasons, the solution of which lies on the surface and is available to each of us. These include the following:

• improper building of interpersonal ties and relationships;
• inability to find contact and approach to people around;
• inability for empathy and understanding;
• lack of self-confidence;
• self-esteem is below normal;
• the presence in the character of innate natural qualities: timidity, shyness, restraint and meekness;
• obedience and conciliation not required by the situation;
• rejection of one's own appearance;
• inability to listen and hear others;
• lack of desire to understand other people;
• fear of expressing oneself due to the fear of displeasing others.

Learning to communicate with people

Effective communication is a basic skill for any successful person.

Once you manage to clearly formulate your thoughts and find an approach to any person, you will be able not only to solve the problem of relationships, but also to achieve career growth.

• We are sincerely interested in others

Each person considers himself unique and wants to believe that he is interesting to the people around him. Put yourself in the place of the interlocutor - we usually enjoy talking with those who allow us to open up and feel our own worth.

• We always address a person by name

Every time we call a person by name, we seem to distinguish him from the mass of all other people. The sound of your own name is the simplest and most enjoyable compliment. After all, it is thanks to the name that the individuality of the interlocutor is emphasized.

• Learning to listen

Unfortunately, nowadays very few people know how to listen and really hear their interlocutor - for the most part now conversations are just an alternate exchange of remarks, without showing genuine interest. It is necessary to try to delve into what the interlocutor thinks about the issue under discussion. Learn to be more loyal and accept the other person's position as something that also has a right to exist.

• Looking for common topics of conversation

If you manage to touch on a topic that takes your interlocutor to heart and gives him the opportunity to speak out to his heart's content, this will already be half of your success. It is due to the fact that a person will be able to show himself in the best light, you will be able to win him over to yourself. He will associate you with the situation of his own success and evoke only positive emotions. This phenomenon is studied in more detail in neurolinguistic programming.

• Develop memory

We memorize the smallest details and details of conversations specifically in order to skillfully use them in the next communication situation. Communication with a person (and relationships in general) will be the more successful, the more accurately you manage to restore what was said to them. It is pleasant for anyone to think that his words were so significant that they were firmly imprinted in someone's memory. He will be pleasantly surprised and flattered by the interest shown in him.

• Paying attention to non-verbal communication

“Communicate” and “speak” are not identical concepts. The ability to communicate correctly includes not only what a person says, but also how he does it. So non-verbal communication turns out to be no less important in solving this problem.

Often, a glance speaks about a person, his mood, confidence or uncertainty, no less than the tone of his voice. So try to practice eye contact. And if you add to this a sincere smile, the location of those around you is simply guaranteed.

• Opening up to loved ones

Try to have a heart-to-heart conversation with friends or family, share what lies in your heart, and immediately it will feel a little better. That it is too easy and too simple is an apparent fact. For most of us now it is just the same very difficult to be sincere, to be ourselves, we get used, depending on the situation and the one who is nearby, to put on one or another mask. But if you want to count on sincere support and heartfelt advice, then once and for all you will have to get rid of everything pretended and be yourself, no matter how difficult it may seem to you now.

• Re-going through negative experiences to overcome fear

Very often a person is afraid of making a mistake, saying something wrong, not meeting someone's expectations, and it is because of this that he decides to limit his social contacts. The whole problem is that once he got into an unpleasant position because of an incorrect and untimely statement. In order to understand how to learn how to communicate with people, you need to once again plunge into the same situation, experience a similar state of discomfort in order to get rid of the problem for good.

• Attendance at psychological trainings

Now there are various psychological methods that, through trainings, will help to reveal the true state of affairs, to relive this problem of communication difficulties anew and to let go, so as not to return to such situations again.

• We communicate with anyone, anywhere

How to learn to communicate with people if you are afraid to talk to them? In such a situation, you need to force yourself to do this constantly. Start small: for example, ask strangers where a particular street is or what time it is. Believe me, it's much easier to talk to strangers, because we have no obligations to them, they don't expect anything from us.

Any experience is valuable in itself. Each small victory is just one of the steps on the big and wide ladder of your self-improvement. Do not be afraid to communicate and express your opinion - this will make you better for yourself and give people a positive example of inner freedom that you can follow in any situation!

Human communication skills are very important. How you talk or correspond with your interlocutors can affect many areas in your life. Becoming a pleasant and tactful interlocutor, and having mastered some rules of etiquette, you will be able to win over many people to yourself, which can bring you positive results in the future.

What is the role of the ability to communicate correctly in society?

The ability to establish contact is an important quality, and no one possesses it from birth. This skill needs to be developed, and if it has not been laid down for you since childhood, this does not mean at all that you cannot acquire it now. People who have learned to communicate correctly in society are undoubtedly more successful not only in their careers, but also in their personal lives. Often, according to our manner of speaking, the interlocutors make up a first impression of us, and we can achieve that it was only positive.

Subtleties of communication

Note that communication can include verbal and non-verbal elements. That is, entering into a dialogue with other people, you do not just utter a set of phrases, and not only are the attention of the interlocutors focused on them. In addition to the correctness of speech, it is important to monitor the shades of intonation, facial expressions, gestures, and gaze.

Surely, you had to observe how a person seems to say reasonable things, but something pushes him away. It can be just a running glance, sharp movements of the hands, or as if "frozen" posture, monotonous phrases and the like. All of these factors are just as important as the content of your phrases.

How to stop being afraid of public speaking

As you know, some people are afraid to speak in front of the public, and this fear can remain throughout their lives. However, many people feel psychological stress not only when speaking in front of a large audience, but also simply, if necessary, to contact a stranger. It can reach discomfort even when communicating with a seller, cashier, etc.

Fear of communicating with strangers

The first step is to determine where this fear came from. There may be several reasons.

Shyness

Usually this trait comes from deep childhood, and depends on the temperament of the child. Some children behave openly, and sometimes obtrusively, while others are embarrassed to start a dialogue with adults or peers. If parents do not instill communication skills, and let everything go by itself, then in the end this trait spills over into adulthood.

Low self-esteem

You are so insecure that you think that if you start a conversation with a stranger, you will look stupid. Perhaps you think that you have nothing to talk about, you are unhappy with your voice, unsure of your ability to clearly express your thoughts, and the like. Low self-esteem can be hidden in a lot of small things, leading to general self-doubt.

Complexes regarding appearance

This sub-clause can be linked to the previous one, but the difference is that it speaks exclusively about appearance. It may seem to you that if you start talking, others will pay attention to some flaw in your appearance, which would hide from them, if you did not attract attention to yourself.

Ways to Deal with Fear

Recognizing the problem

After realizing what your problem is, which has triggered your fear of communication, it is important to try to solve it. If the reason lies in some kind of defects in appearance, then find a way to fix them. It is also important to understand that your complex may be far-fetched. Surely, among the famous people there are those who have a similar "flaw" - look how they behave in public and how many fans they have!

If it's not about looks or just her, but low self-esteem in general, then you probably need to raise her. You can make an appointment with a psychologist, but if you are afraid of communicating with strangers, then, probably, such a step will cause you stress. That is why you should search the Web for motivating videos with consultations from psychologists, which are absolutely free.

Appearance

A lot depends on how you look when communicating with people. You've probably noticed that if you are unsure of your appearance, then communication is even more difficult for you - you just do not want to focus on yourself. Such moments must be avoided. We are talking about the elementary - clothes, accessories, shoes. Choose your wardrobe carefully so that you don't have any doubts about it. Don't forget not only stylish and comfortable clothes, but also skin, teeth, hair and nails care. Taking good care of all of the above can help build your confidence.

Communication

If you want to overcome your fear, then you need to face the problem face to face. Only by starting to connect with other people will you learn to deal with your psychological barriers. Start small with phone calls. Hone your communication skills with loved ones. You are unlikely to be afraid of talking with relatives or friends - communicate with them more often. As an experiment, to clarify any question, call an old acquaintance who for some period fell out of your sight. Subsequently, you can call one of the city's gyms, for example, after asking the administrator what the cost of a subscription in their institution is and until which hour the gym is open. You can also call a beauty salon or a yoga studio with clarifying questions. It is not necessary to use these services afterwards - you just consult, as many other people do.

Having a little familiar with telephone conversations, try to strike up a dialogue "live". If you are afraid to look stupid when addressing strangers, then choose a communication method where you mostly have to listen. You can go to the nearest post office and ask what is the best way to send a parcel to another country (for example, to Canada in the city of Toronto), and how long it will take to go there. Improvise and gradually you will forget about your fears.

I don’t know what to talk to people about, how to start a dialogue first

It is important to understand that if you start the conversation first, then nothing terrible or unnatural will happen. Would it be that if another person starts a conversation with you, you think something bad about him? Most likely no. Likewise, other people will not see anything incredible if you refer to them, so do not invent problems from scratch.

1. Ask questions

The easiest way to start a dialogue is with a question that is relevant to the situation. If you are at a certain party, you can ask something about the menu - pay attention to what the potential interlocutor drinks or eats, and ask if he is satisfied with the choice and whether you should order yourself a similar dish or drink. Of course, you should not be intrusive at the same time, if a person is relaxed and clearly ready for communication, and not concentrated on absorbing his food, then only then it makes sense to ask such questions.

You can also be interested in more neutral topics - how to get to this or that district, where there is a good store of equipment or books in the city, and so on.

2. Be interesting

In order that there are no questions about possible topics for conversation, you need to expand your horizons, constantly be in the stage of intellectual or physical development. If you have nothing to talk about with others, then most likely you have little interest in other than your main activity. Many careerists are fixated only on their work, housewives - on everyday issues, and students - on their studies. It is unlikely that these topics alone are able to win over the interlocutor and make him interested in your personality.

Start with reading - world classics or philosophical literature. Subsequently, you can give examples from the books you read or recommend certain works to the interlocutor, giving them your assessment. You may say that you have absolutely no time to read. It is for such people that audiobooks have long been invented that can be listened to in traffic jams, while cooking dinner, cleaning the apartment, and so on.

It is useful to attend various master classes for the development of your personality. As a child, many of us liked to go to some kind of "circles" - dancing, drawing, beading and the like. Nowadays all this and much more is offered for adults as well. In almost every city, with the exception of very small provinces, you can find many master classes - you can sign up for a painting lesson, belly dancing, yoga, cooking classes, dancing and much more!

3. Let others be interesting

Do not assume that when communicating with you, the interlocutor is only engaged in evaluating your conversation skills, tone, gestures and content of stories. Most people want to make a good impression of themselves as much as you do, and you can endear them if you help them open up in an interesting way. He will remember this feeling of self-satisfaction, and subconsciously note that it arose during a conversation with you, so he will be pleased to remember this communication, and he will strive for it again.

If you know that the interlocutor has recently visited another country or city, inquire about the peculiarities of this place. If he plays sports, mark his excellent physical condition, tell him that you would like to do something similar and ask for advice on where to start. Many people can get lost with some questions, and if you notice that one of them caught a person by surprise, do not focus on this topic if the counterpart himself does not return to it. Immediately, unobtrusively turn the conversation into another direction - but do not go on to the next question, but tell something yourself, in the meantime, allowing the interlocutor to collect his thoughts.

How easy it is to meet people and make friends

People often avoid making acquaintances on their own for fear of looking strange. If you want to avoid this, take note of some recommendations.

Don't be intrusive. When addressing a person, try to accurately track his reaction. If he clearly tries to answer in monosyllables, looks away, does not ask counter questions and switches to other things, such as examining the surrounding interior or the settings of his phone, then he is clearly not inclined to dialogue. It may not even be about you - it's just that now this person does not want communication or is not in the mood to make new acquaintances. Surely you are familiar with similar feelings.

Be natural. Allow yourself to forget about all your fears or complexes for at least one day. Conduct a kind of experiment - start a conversation with another person without thinking about what impression you are making. Just enjoy the conversation.

Stay Confident in itself. If so far you have not been able to gain confidence in yourself, no one should guess about it. If you start a conversation with ingratiating words or uncertain intonations, you are unlikely to be able to achieve a positive effect. Speak confidently and calmly, do not hesitate in your words and do not think that you might look stupid and ridiculous. What does a confident person look like? When talking, he does not look at the floor or to the side, but in the eyes of the interlocutor. Although, from time to time, it is still worthwhile to relax your gaze to the side - an uninterrupted gaze into the eyes may seem unnatural. Do not constantly straighten your clothes or hair, do not "wring" your hands, and do not study your reflection (even briefly) on mirrored surfaces.

Speech and diction. This is also an important point. Learn to speak not too loudly, but also not softly. You should be heard well, but nothing more. If you are periodically asked to speak louder or quieter, pay attention to this point - it can significantly annoy the interlocutors. You can also record your speech on a dictaphone, and while listening to it, pay attention to errors. Avoid procrastination and procrastination, as well as excessive haste. Observe the golden mean. Now you can find many trainings where professionals will help you with the correct diction. You can just sign up for a private consultation with a speech therapist, even if it seems to you that you have no problems with pronunciation, stress placement and the like - this meeting, in any case, will benefit you.

Be positive. Many people try to avoid those who often "radiate" negativity. Think if you are one of these pessimists? Even if you are used to thinking negatively, try not to show this trait to others. Compliment people, praise them, joke, laugh at other people's jokes.

However, feigned gaiety should also be avoided - such insincerity is often noticeable and looks ridiculous. Try not to talk badly about other people, or at least not focus on your negative emotions - this can alienate you.

Show interest. As you know, most people are very concerned about their personality - how they look, what impression they make, and the like. Taking an interest in the person you are talking to can be a sure way to form friendships. Pay attention to any slightest achievements of a potential friend, ask his opinion on a particular topic, give compliments. Of course, it's important not to overdo it so that your interest doesn't sound like flattery.

If you begin to notice that other people are not too eager to maintain a dialogue with you and even avoid communication, then perhaps some reasons contributed to this. Let's consider some of them:

1- Subjective assessment

Of course, we all have our own subjective point of view on almost everything. However, if you are a tactful interlocutor, you will not try to impose your opinion on another person, especially if you see that he does not agree with him.

It is important to understand that someone else's point of view on certain events is no less valuable than yours. Yes, it is possible that the interlocutor is really mistaken, but if you want to make it pleasant to communicate with you, then do not try to prove your case at all costs. Give your arguments gently, without irony or irritation, ask what arguments your opponent has. Believe me, if a person is really wrong in some important issue, then soon he himself will understand this. If the question is insignificant, then it is not worth paying extra attention to.

2 - Aloofness or talkativeness

These are two extremes that are best avoided. In the first case, when a person behaves distantly, immersed in himself, the interlocutor may decide that you are not interested in communicating with him. Of course, there are people who like to speak out incessantly, and at the same time do not notice the mood of others, but most still pay attention to other people's reactions. Perhaps, due to the peculiarity of character or shyness, you try not to express your point of view, giving the interlocutor the right to conduct a dialogue, but gradually such communication can turn into a monologue, and it is not a fact that the other participant in the conversation likes this state of affairs.

In the second case (with excessive talkativeness) it is also difficult to hone the right communication skills. Many of us know people who like to talk a lot, interrupt and not listen to others. At the same time, they may consider themselves interesting and sociable personalities, but in fact they cause varying degrees of irritation. If mostly tactful interlocutors come across on their way, they may not even know about their problem. Analyze your conversations with other people - who speaks more? In communication, it is important to maintain a balance - to speak yourself, ask questions and listen to the answers of the other person.

3 - gaze

Are you sure you don't have that habit of staring at other people? Many people feel uncomfortable under such a "microscope", and they try to curtail the conversation as soon as possible. It may seem to you that you are quietly studying someone's shoes, hair, or some part of the body, but, as a rule, this is quite noticeable.

Also, the height of tactlessness is pointing out any shortcomings that a person already knows very well himself or, most likely, would like not to focus on. Perhaps it is not even worth mentioning that exclamations are unacceptable: "Oh, your pimple has popped out!", "Do you know that you have gray hair?", "Have you recovered?" similar tactless remarks. They can only sound between very close people - parent and son or daughter or husband and wife, and then if you are sure that it is appropriate.

4 - Questions

This one follows from the previous subparagraph - it will be about the ability to ask questions. Even if you and your interlocutor speak in approximately equal proportions, but at the same time you do not ask any questions to maintain the conversation, then such a conversation can soon get boring. It is important for people to feel interested in their person. Take an interest in the affairs of the interlocutor, his opinion on this or that account. In this case, it is important not to cross the line. If you are not in a very close relationship, do not ask very personal questions - do not be tactless. If a person is embarrassed about a question or topic of conversation, subtly turn the conversation into another channel, thereby showing yourself to be a flexible and tactful interlocutor.

With the advent of humanity, there was a huge need for communication. Even in ancient times, without him, it was impossible to warn a fellow tribesman, to express his sympathy for a woman, to teach children to survive and hunt, passing on their knowledge and skills to them. Today we have a clear system of symbols through which we can say absolutely everything that we think. But even in modern society, some people experience communication difficulties and do not always know how to overcome them.

Peculiarities

From the very birth we begin to learn the language, which we subsequently speak our whole life. However, the ability to pronounce sounds in the correct sequence does not mean that we have the art of communication, it can be compared to onomatopoeia. A person speaks when there is meaning in his words, when they are used with some meaning in a specific situation.

As a person grows up, they have to communicate more and more. His successful socialization in kindergarten, the ability to "take root" at school, the degree of success at the university and at work depend on this. When communicating with peers, it is important to try to become an interesting interlocutor for them, to be able to attract attention. Adults should see you as a worthy opponent, a person with whom it is pleasant to deal.

But being interesting enough for everyone is difficult, and for some this goal may be almost unattainable. There are several factors that prevent people from communicating fully:

• Personal complexes and self-doubt. In this case, the person simply does not believe that someone can be interested in the conversation, he does not dare to express his thoughts and ideas.
• The opposite phenomenon is heightened self-esteem. Such people put themselves above others. Others do not understand them and do not seek to make contact with them.
• Active use of social networks. Online communication can cause fear of real meetings, self-doubt.
• Poor intellectual development. A small set of knowledge narrows the range of topics that a person can communicate, therefore it quickly becomes boring with him.

The role of communication

Communication has always played an important role in a person's life. As soon as people learned how to communicate with each other, it became important to be able to correctly build a dialogue, to please the one who likes, even verbally punish the offender. There are so many different factors in a person's life that one needs to be able to control and subjugate to oneself, that without the skills of correct communication, nothing can work out. In addition, the consequences of not being able to communicate can even negatively affect your life.

Success in school or university is not only due to good looks. Most of the "popular" people know how to communicate, keeping attention on their personality. At work and in personal life, speech is also important.

At work, you may not be promoted, even if you deserve it simply because you are unable to successfully establish contacts and conduct business negotiations. In family life, you will also not be able to avoid problems if you do not learn to find a common language with your partner. If you don’t have common topics of conversation, or you are unable to resolve controversial situations and find a compromise, the relationship can "crack."

All modern society is based on the ability to correctly structure speech and contact with others. Famous politicians, scientists and artists would not be so famous if they could not subdue the attention of a large number of people with one word.

Therefore, if you want to be successful and happy, it is important to learn to communicate with people, correct your speech deficiencies and improve in this area.

Ways to achieve efficiency

In modern society, the ability to properly conduct a conversation is an important aspect. In the process of communication, there is a perception of each other by the interlocutors, the exchange of information, personal and business interaction, the search for solutions.

If you haven’t received oratory skills by nature, you should not “hang your nose” and give up. The ability to speak beautifully and achieve the desired results in a conversation can be learned independently. The main thing is to know what is required for this. For effective communication, it is important to decompose the communication process into components and specifically work out each of them:

• Gaining self-confidence is important. First of all, in order to learn how to communicate properly, you need to start to respect yourself. You must confidently express your thoughts, even if they are wrong, because your point of view has a right to exist. Your opponent will understand that you need to be reckoned with, that your judgments make sense, and you can listen to them.
• Deal with your fear. Many insecure people are passive in dialogue. They are afraid to ask questions, be interested in something, express their opinion, so as not to bring down the indignation of others. They are afraid of judgmental looks, possible unpleasant comments addressed to them. Do not be afraid to conduct the conversation in a way that suits you, ask about everything that interests you.

• Treat the other person with respect and tact... Do not interrupt the speaker, give him the opportunity to fully express himself, even if you disagree with his arguments. Then calmly express your opinion.
• Try not to be distracted by extraneous topics... The ability to express your thoughts beautifully and competently, while speaking to the point, will allow you to quickly earn respect in society.
• You must be able to inspire the confidence of the interlocutor... To achieve this goal, you need very little - just look your partner in the eyes. Through eye contact, communication can be made easily. If a person lowers or hides his gaze, his behavior is not always perceived as a sign of shyness. More often this is regarded as insincerity or even a lie. This conversation will not do you any good.

• It's important to show genuine interest in the other person. During a conversation with an unfamiliar person, you need to give him the opportunity to tell about himself, express his thoughts. Don't talk too much. A monologue can quickly tire a person, and he is unlikely to want to talk to you again. You need to make the person feel at ease in your company. The interest in the conversation should be mutual. Remember to use your opponent's name. This nuance will also show your interest in it.
• It is also important to be able to ask the right questions. This is especially necessary if you are just getting to know a person and want to learn more about him. The art of correctly posing questions makes it possible to receive full-fledged detailed answers instead of a restrained "yes" or "no". This way you can make the conversation light and interesting, allowing the interlocutor to feel confident and free in your company.
• Use of knowledge and erudition- an equally important point. It is easier for a person with a large store of knowledge to start and maintain any conversation. Communication with such people brings a lot of positive emotions to all interlocutors.

How to be interesting?

If you want to take an active part in discussions, and sometimes even become the initiator of a conversation, it is important to be able to win over people, to be interesting to those around you. A correctly chosen topic is already half the battle. If you prepare in advance for the conversation, read as much information as possible on this issue, then you will be well-versed in it and you will always find something to say. It is only important to give out information in portions and at the right moments, otherwise the communication will be similar to a report.

To make the topic of conversation interesting and convenient for everyone, it is important to clarify whether someone objects to this conversation, and only then start an active discussion. The reluctance of someone from the group to communicate may show his weak knowledge in this matter or a great lack of self-confidence. If the person does not protest, but does not take part in communication, you need to involve him in the conversation, ask his opinion. Gradually, the person will gain confidence and become a participant in the conversation.

Do not be afraid to communicate with people of different professions, interests, social status. Over time, you will learn to adapt to any conversation and correctly "present" yourself in society.

Team communication

In order for communication in a team to be pleasant and easy, it is important to take into account only two main factors. The most important thing is to find an individual approach to each member of a team or a specific conversation. If you communicate with people new to yourself, try to share common phrases with each participant in the conversation in order to form an opinion about him, determine his type of temperament, and learn about character traits.

Engaged in building correct communication in a team, it is important to communicate with everyone at their level (except for people of higher rank). All team members should feel needed and respected. Only then will the communication process be pleasant and successful.

The second point is the ability to listen. We have been able to speak since childhood, but the art of being attentive to the interlocutor is much more important. This is necessary in order for the conversation to be interesting, informative and enjoyable for all participants. Don't interrupt the narrator. This will give you the impression of an uncultured person. In addition, your intervention can throw the speaker out of his mind. Respect everyone in the conversation, and you will be treated the same way.

Dialogue with the opposite sex

Getting to know someone of the opposite sex requires special skills. Even with self-confidence and positive communication experiences with your peers, it can be difficult to get started with a member of the opposite sex. To make the acquaintance pleasant for both parties, it is important to adhere to some tips:

• Be natural. Don't try to joke around all the time or be overly serious. If you want to make a good impression, be yourself. It is sincerity that will help attract attention to you, and then conquer your future soul mate. This is the only way you can make communication lively and exciting.
• When starting a conversation, follow not only the vocabulary, but also the correctness of humor and the topics raised in the conversation. Inappropriate jokes and overly personal questions can not only not interest a person, but even alienate him.
• When you first meet, keep your distance, respect your personal space. You should not hug a representative of the opposite sex without his consent. At the beginning of interaction, it is better to focus on building a dialogue.
• At the first contact, it is important to look the other person in the eyes often and smile sincerely. This will show your openness, interest and sympathy for the person. This is the only way you will have a pleasant conversation that can develop into something more in the future.

The process of communication with different people

In the process of daily communication, we encounter a huge number of people. Different characters, upbringing, social status, age and many other nuances affect the process of communication with each specific person. It is necessary to learn to apply an individual approach to different interlocutors, otherwise you may find yourself in an unpleasant situation.

Each person is a unique personality, and this must be reckoned with. If you disagree with someone, do not immediately criticize him. Calmly express your point of view and try to find a compromise.

If the phrases or jokes of the interlocutor annoy you, it is better to transfer the communication to another channel, so you can avoid conflict. If you begin to openly comment, you can provoke a scandal.

When dealing with some people, you should not discuss others. First, your words may sooner or later "reach" the object of your conversation. Secondly, the reputation of a person who discusses and criticizes everyone will not bring you popularity. On the contrary, you will alienate people from you. Few would want to communicate openly with such an unpleasant person.

The basic principles of communication psychology are based on the literary works of researchers of human behavior in society. A number of rules developed by Dale Carnegie back in the 40s are still relevant today.

To correctly build sentences and make a good impression on the interlocutor, use psychological techniques:

1. Be interested. Don't yawn or be smart. Show that you sympathize with the person, show interest in his activities.
2. Create positive emotions. Don't hide your smile. Scientists have proven that smiling people are more successful.
3. Call your friend by name. A personal appeal is a verbal compliment, by this you show that the information is intended specifically for the interlocutor.
4. Be careful. An important quality is the ability not only to hear, but also to listen.

   Show respect for your opponent, ask leading questions, be surprised at the facts you hear, and show more emotion.

5. Find a common theme. Try to win your favor, do not be shy and withdrawn into yourself.

   Build friendships with your neighbor and your business partner.

6. Be sincere. Crowning and flattering is not the best move. Feigned delight will only alienate the interlocutor. Praise the qualities that truly delight you in the person.

Advice! If you find it difficult to communicate with strangers, practice over the phone.

Lack of eye contact will relieve embarrassment. Call your hairdresser or beauty salon.

Prepare for the conversation in advance, make a list of questions if you get confused in the process of communication.

Development of communication skills

Communication psychology is an art. Even a self-contained introvert can become the soul of the company. One has only to know a few "tricks" of building relationships.

Important! Be natural, don't turn the art of communication into acting.

Non-verbal psychology

No matter how interesting the information is, the owner must correctly present its essence. Who will listen to the muttering whispers of an uncertain speaker? Behavior and ability to behave in society is what will make others listen to you!

• "Tongue" of the eyes. Let go of insecurities, boldly look into the eyes of the other person, and show that you are interested in maintaining friendships.

  A running glance is a sign of disrespect, indicating that you are bored.

• Mimicry. Every emotion is reflected on the face. You can even flirt only out of the corner of your mouth.

  Don't talk about sad things with a smile or positive things with pursed lips. Combine the inner state with the outer.

• Gesturing. Non-verbal behavior is a whole science. Keep your hands at the level of your abdomen or hips, palms crossed - this is stiffness and distrust of others.

  An open pose subconsciously disposes of the interlocutor. Learn to be fluent in non-verbal communication techniques.

Advice! Exercise in front of a mirror daily. Read poetry, give a speech, or imagine yourself as a teacher.

This kind of training will help you overcome reticence and feel comfortable talking to people.

Exercises for free and easy communication with strangers

Contact a psychologist for help if your close social circle does not replenish. But there is a way to overcome shyness at home.

A small training is the beginning of work on yourself:

1. Monologue aloud. Sit back more comfortably and grab your favorite children's toy or book. Turn on your imagination and imagine that the object in your hands is your listener.

   This kind of training is not as easy as it sounds. Talk about yourself, about your activities, speak beautifully, in coherent sentences.

   This exercise will help structure the train of thoughts in your head and express them correctly out loud.

2. Dialogue with a stranger. Talk outside. Ask a passerby how to get to the library, check with the seller about the quality of the goods, ask for advice.

   Meet someone at a cafe or movie. This kind of training will relieve the fear of taking the first step.

3. Remember the details. After a dialogue with a stranger, remember what he was wearing, what color his eyes, hair, what the interlocutor said.

   Develop long-term memory, recall the person's face, style and voice. Exercise trains mindfulness.

4. Praise. Compliment, each person has dignity. Find them and admire them out loud. But be honest, remember that falsehood is easy to recognize.

Advice! Watch your speech. Speak clearly and clearly, without stuttering or stuttering.

Top books and literature

Are you interested? Find out the details from the book. Researchers of human behavior have published many works on psychology.

Check out the best literature to help you master your communication skills:

• Eric Byrne "Games People Play".
• Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People.
• Larry King "How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anytime."
• Sigmund Freud "Psychology of the Masses and Analysis of the Human Self".
• Karen Pryor "Don't growl at the dog."

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If you are a registered user on a dating site or in social networks, then you have probably more than once had to deal with the fact that it is quite difficult to start a conversation with a stranger - the instinct of "reality" is triggered. What if you are misunderstood, considered intrusive, or thought you have no pride?

It is worth throwing all these doubts and just sticking to simple rules during the conversation, so as not to look stupid. Although, the concept of stupidity is very loose.

1. Examine the questionnaire / profile

So, the first and main rule - you need to get to know the person before you entered into a dialogue with him. Check out his profile. Look at the photo - what is shown on it, which photo is selected, read about his hobbies, pay attention to the spelling, whether he indicated marital status and other facts. After you get your first impression of a stranger, use what you learn to start communication. If you find common hobbies and interests, then half the battle has already been done, it remains to write a message and start a conversation, you definitely have something to talk about, at least in the first three sentences.

2. Be original

You can write the words "hello, how are you", but you can hardly stand out from the crowd of other "writers". Therefore, if you still have the courage to enter into a dialogue, then show originality. Think about what exactly should be the first message from you. Perhaps a playful formulation of the question in the spirit of "I see you like alpine skiing, but how do you spend your time in the summer without snow?" will help to attract the attention of the man you like and thus start a dialogue. You should not start a conversation with the phrases: “What are you looking for here?”, “What are your plans for the evening?”, “I also like to drink” - this is unconstructive and rude. Online reputation is also reputation.

3. Don't interrogate

After you start interacting with a man, try to keep the conversation in the spirit of small talk. This means that you do not need to ask direct questions: "How many children do you have?", "What is the name of your ex-wife" and "What did you do in the 90s?" Talk about general topics, look at reactions, and rate your sense of humor and literacy. You can ask all the questions you are interested in later, when communication develops into something more, but at first, an attempt to get into a person's soul will be perceived exclusively as tactlessness.

4. Don't insist on exchanging contacts / meeting

If during the correspondence the person did not offer you to meet or at least use more real means of communication, you should not blame him for this, and even more so insist on a date. Perhaps he has his own reasons not to go offline, which he is unlikely to tell you about. At the same time, if your plans are real communication, it makes sense to look for a new interlocutor so as not to waste time chatting with an unrealistic man.

5. Do not impose

What is meant by this word? Is it okay to write one or two messages a day, but 5-10 is already a lot? This is not the point at all. If you wrote a message to the man, but he never answered it, you can try again. If the second message was also ignored, back out. The same is true for dialogues. It's one thing when you intensively correspond, ask each other questions, share impressions, discuss something and “stay in touch” all the time, and quite another when a man answers your messages in monosyllables and once a week.

The main advantage of virtual communication is that you do not owe anything to anyone. You can interrupt the correspondence at any time, or, conversely, transfer it to real time. During the time of communication, you have the opportunity to really get to know the person in one way or another and get an idea of ​​him, so that during the date you feel more confident and relaxed. The main thing - do not hesitate, and if you are looking for your love using the Internet, then this is your choice, and it means that it is definitely the right one!