Help on Tele2, tariffs, questions

Narrator: Once upon a time, it seems like last Friday, there lived in a certain country a bear cub named Winnie the Pooh. Why under a name? Because above his door was the inscription "Winnie the Pooh".

Narrator: He was always not averse to refreshment. In addition, he was a poet.

Winnie the Pooh: If I'm scratching my head, it's okay! There is sawdust in my head - yes, yes, yes! But, although there is sawdust, I sometimes compose chants and screams (as well as noisemakers, puffers, and nozzles), yes!

Winnie the Pooh: This is “Zh-zh-zh” - for a reason!... Why do you need to buzz if you are not a bee? I think so. Why are there bees in the world? To make honey. Why is there honey in the world? So that I can eat it. I think so!

Winnie the Pooh: Where are Piglet and I going - big big secret, and we won’t tell about him about no, and no, and...

Piglet: What do you think, the bees won’t notice… you under the ball!

Winnie the Pooh: I'll pretend that I'm a little black cloud.

Winnie the Pooh: If bears were bees, they would never have thought of building a house so tall.

Winnie the Pooh: Now I'm just like a real black cloud.

Winnie the Pooh: You can expect anything from these bees.

Winnie the Pooh: Do you know what will come to mind for these bees?

Winnie the Pooh: Well, who do I look like now?

Piglet: At a bear flying in a hot air balloon.

Winnie the Pooh: I think the bees suspect something!

Winnie the Pooh: It seems they don’t believe that I’m a black cloud...

Piglet: Maybe they think you want to steal their honey?

Winnie the Pooh: I'm a cloud-cloud-cloud, and not a bear at all!

Piglet: It looks like it's going to rain...

Winnie the Pooh: You have to do it the way it needs to be done. And if you don’t need to, you don’t need to do it!

Winnie the Pooh: These are the wrong bees! And they're probably making the wrong honey!

Winnie the Pooh: I'm going downstairs.

Piglet: How?

Winnie the Pooh: I haven't thought about that yet!

Winnie the Pooh: And if you don’t shoot, then I’ll be spoiled!

Winnie the Pooh: Oh-oh!

Piglet: Didn't I get it?

Winnie the Pooh: Ooh, it’s not that you didn’t hit it at all, you just didn’t hit the ball!

Winnie the Pooh: The bear loves honey very much. Why - who will understand? In fact, why does he like honey so much?

Winnie the Pooh: Isn't it time for us to eat? I think it's time!

Winnie the Pooh: Shouldn't we go visit and have a little refreshment?

Winnie the Pooh: Where Piglet and I are going is a big, big secret!

Winnie the Pooh: Whoever goes to visit in the morning acts wisely! Taram-param, taram-tomtam. That's why it's morning! Taram-param, taram-tomtam, come visit in the morning!

Piglet: Where are we going?

Winnie the Pooh: To you, of course.

Winnie the Pooh: Do you have anything?

Piglet: Yes, I have another one balloon.

Winnie the Pooh: No, we probably won’t go to you.

Winnie the Pooh: Suitable company is a company where they can treat us to something!

Winnie the Pooh: Hey, is anyone home? I ask: hey, is anyone home?!

Rabbit: There's no need to yell like that! I heard everything perfectly the first time.

Winnie the Pooh: Listen, Rabbit, is this you by any chance?

Rabbit: No, not me!

Rabbit: What do you mean I? “I” are different.

Winnie the Pooh: “I” means I, Winnie the Pooh.

Rabbit: Are you sure about this? Hm! Indeed, Winnie the Pooh. And who is this?

Winnie the Pooh: This is Piglet.

Rabbit: Hmmm, indeed, Piglet. Well, come on in.

Rabbit: By the way, it says, “Wipe your feet.”

Winnie the Pooh: You-ti-raite no-gi... Aha! It’s not such a simple thing to visit.

Winnie the Pooh: When we enter, the main thing is to pretend that we don’t want anything.

Narrator: The rabbit was very smart and he himself guessed: it was time to eat a little.

Winnie the Pooh: Both, and you can do it without bread.

Winnie the Pooh: No one leaves right away; that’s not the custom when visiting.

Winnie the Pooh: Are you in any hurry?

Piglet: No, I'm completely free until Friday!

Winnie the Pooh: Okay, let's sit a little longer.

Rabbit: Well, if you don’t want anything else...

Winnie the Pooh: Is there anything else?

Narrator: And they sat a little longer. Then a little more. And then a little more. And a little more... until, alas, there is nothing left

Winnie the Pooh: Ugh... No, it's better back... Ugh... No, it's better forward... Oh-oh-oh! Save... Save, help! Neither forward nor backward!

Rabbit: Are you stuck?

Winnie the Pooh: No, I'm just relaxing.

Winnie the Pooh: This is all because someone's doors are too narrow.

Rabbit: No! All because someone eats too much!

Winnie the Pooh: Oh! And I seem to have lost weight. Hurry, get me out of here!!!

Narrator: And no one knew what the Rabbit thought, because he was very well-mannered.

Winnie the Pooh and Care Day[edit]

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Winnie the Pooh and Care Day

Narrator: He had terrible luck, especially on Friday.

Eeyore: A pathetic sight... A heartbreaking sight... A nightmare! Well, that's what I thought. From this side it’s no better... And why? And for what reason? And what conclusion follows from this?

Eeyore: Good morning. If it's good at all. What I personally doubt...

Winnie the Pooh: How are you?

IA: Not really, I even think: not at all...

Winnie the Pooh: What happened to your tail? He's gone!

Winnie the Pooh: You either have a tail or you don’t have it at all, you can’t go wrong here.

I understand that the tail would have disappeared on some other day, no one would have noticed, but then...

IA: However, there is no need to be surprised. This was to be expected... on a day like this!

Eeyore: Friday is my birthday!

Eeyore: But I'm not complaining, don't pay attention.

Eeyore: It's a joke. Haha...

Winnie the Pooh: It's your birthday, and here you have no tail, no gifts.

Winnie the Pooh: Knock-knock!

Piglet: This is your house.

Winnie the Pooh: Ah, right... well then, let's go in!

No one can be sad when they have a balloon!

Winnie the Pooh: You can comfort anyone you want with a balloon.

Winnie the Pooh: Every thing either exists or not. And honey - I just don’t understand what the secret is - if it’s there, it’s immediately gone!

Winnie the Pooh: Where am I going to go? Oh yes, birthday.

Winnie the Pooh: Here is an empty pot - it is a simple object, it will not go anywhere. And therefore the pot is empty, and therefore the pot is empty, and therefore the empty pot is valued much more!

Winnie the Pooh: The end of your suffering. And disappointments. And immediately the good weather comes,

Winnie the Pooh: When you or him, when, well, it doesn’t matter to whom... (not me, of course) will be given a pot without honey on your birthday!

Winnie the Pooh: An empty pot, you can keep whatever you want in it, it's very useful thing.

I ask you to submit and wait for an answer. Sava.

I ask you to knock if they don’t respond. Sava.

Winnie the Pooh: Owl, open it - the bear has arrived.

Owl: What news?

Winnie the Pooh: Sad and terrible.

Winnie the Pooh: My spelling is poor. It's good, but for some reason it's lame.

Winnie the Pooh: There's sawdust in my head. Long words They just upset me.

Winnie the Pooh: Where does this lace come from, it reminds me of someone.

Piglet: Why did that boom like that? I couldn't make so much noise alone. And where, I wonder, is my balloon? And where did this rag come from?

Owl: Thistle!

Winnie the Pooh: Be healthy.

Owl: And in general.

Winnie the Pooh: Be healthy!

Owl: You can’t, you know, sneeze and not know that you sneezed.

Winnie the Pooh: Happy Birthday, I wish you happiness in personal life. Pooh.

IA: Thank you, I’m already lucky...

Eeyore: What color was it when it was a ball?

Piglet: Green...

Eeyore: What size?

Piglet: Almost from you...

Eeyore: My favorite size.

Eeyore: Others won’t fit in! But mine will fit.

In, out and in. It turns out great!

Owl: I want to give you a free gift...

Winnie the Pooh: Without what?

Owl: No-cart-mess-bottom!

Winnie the Pooh: Hurray! The tail has been found!

And I, and I, and I are of the same opinion!

Eeyore Donkey's BIRTHDAY.

(Based on the fairy tale by A. Milne “Winnie the Pooh” and the cartoon “Winnie the Pooh and the Day of Care.”)

A script for a children's theater where the children themselves will act.

CHARACTERS:

STORYTELLER
WINNIE THE POOH
PIGLE
DONKEY Eeyore
OWL

1 SCENE.

(Music.)

STORYTELLER: Once upon a time there lived a bear cub. And his name was Winnie the Pooh. The little bear lived in the forest, and he had many friends who lived in the same forest as him.
One morning he went out for a walk and saw an old donkey named Eeyore on the bank of a stream. The donkey looked very sad.

(Music. The curtain opens. The backdrop on the stage is a forest. We see Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore (he looks sad and speaks very sadly).)

WINNIE THE POOH: Good morning, Eeyore!

IA-IA: Good morning, Winnie the Pooh, if it is really good.
Which I personally doubt.

WINNIE THE POOH: Why? What happened, Eeyore?

IA-IA: Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing special.
Not everyone can have fun.

WINNIE THE POOH: Have fun?

WINNIE THE POOH: Oh, I see… (thinking)

(The donkey stands slumped, and Winnie the Pooh walks around him, hoping to understand why the donkey is so sad.)

WINNIE THE POOH: Oh, what happened to your tail?

IA-IA: What happened to him?

WINNIE THE POOH: He's gone!

IA-IA: Why not? Are you right?

WINNIE THE POOH: You either have a tail or you don’t! In my opinion, you can't go wrong here!
But your tail is missing!

IA-IA: What is there then?

WINNIE THE POOH: Nothing!

IA-IA: Come on, let's see!

(The donkey turns and looks at where the tail should be.)

IA-IA: It seems you're right!

WINNIE THE POOH: Of course I'm right!

IA-IA: Well! This is quite natural! No need to be surprised!

WINNIE THE POOH: You must have lost it somewhere!

IA-IA: (indignantly) Someone must have stolen it!...
(sadly) However, this was to be expected on a day like this!

WINNIE THE POOH: What day is it today?

IA-IA: (everything is also sad) Friday. It's my birthday!

WINNIE THE POOH: (surprised) What's your birthday?
What, is it your birthday today?

IA-IA: Certainly! Don't you notice?
Look at all these gifts!... At the birthday cake!...

WINNIE THE POOH: Present? Birthday cake?
Where are they? (looks around)

IA-IA: Can't you see them?

WINNIE THE POOH: No!

IA-IA: (sadly) Me too. It's a joke. Haha.

WINNIE THE POOH: Is today really your birthday?

IA-IA: Is it true.

WINNIE THE POOH: Then I congratulate you and wish you much, much happiness on this day!

IA-IA: And I congratulate you and wish you much, much happiness on this day.

WINNIE THE POOH: But today is not my birthday!

IA-IA: So what? Do you want to be unhappy on my birthday?

WINNIE THE POOH: Ah, got it!

IA-IA: (sadly) It’s enough that I myself am so unhappy - no gifts, no birthday cake, no tail.
And in general, forgotten, abandoned...
And if everyone else is unhappy...

WINNIE THE POOH: Eeyore! Stay here and don't go anywhere!

STORYTELLER: Winnie the Pooh realized that he must immediately present the poor donkey with at least something to console and cheer him up. So he started running home.
On the way, he met his friend, a pig named Piglet.

(Winnie the Pooh and Piglet appear on the front stage.)

PIGLE: Hello, Winnie the Pooh!

WINNIE THE POOH: Hello, Piglet!

PIGLE: Where are you running?

WINNIE THE POOH: You see, Piglet, I just saw Eeyore. He's terribly upset!
Today is his birthday, but everyone has forgotten about him!
And the tail is gone!
On such a day - no tail, no gifts!
And now I’m running home to get a gift!

PIGLE: Is it Eeyore's birthday? I did not know!
Pooh, I want to give him a gift too!
What will you give him?

WINNIE THE POOH: I want to give him a pot of honey!

PIGLE: Can I give it as a gift too? It's like it's from the two of us!

WINNIE THE POOH: No, Piglet! I think you came up with a bad idea!
Give him something else!

PIGLE: OK! Then I'll give Eeyore a balloon!
I still have one more left!

WINNIE THE POOH: You came up with a good idea, Piglet!
After all, Eeyore needs to be cheered up!
And with a balloon, whoever wants to have fun!
No one can be sad when they have a balloon!

(Music. Winnie the Pooh and Piglet run into the proscenium.)

SCENE 2.

STORYTELLER: So, Piglet ran home to get the balloon. And Winnie the Pooh went to his house, took a pot of honey and went back to the stream, where the sad donkey Eeyore was waiting for him.
The day was hot, and the path was not close, and, not even halfway, the bear cub stopped and thought.

(Music. The curtain opens. Winnie the Pooh is on stage.)

WINNIE THE POOH: How tired I am of running back and forth!
It would be nice to have a little refreshment!
Very little!

(Winnie the Pooh stops and starts eating honey.)

STORYTELLER: And Pooh Bear refreshed himself a little... Then a little more... and more!

(Winnie the Pooh eats all the honey.)

WINNIE THE POOH: Ah ah ah! I ate the whole gift!... (pause) What should I do now?

(Winnie the Pooh thought for a moment, then began to examine the pot.)

WINNIE THE POOH: But still, this is a very good pea, although there is no honey in it!...
And if I ask someone to write “Happy Birthday” on it, Eeyore can keep whatever he wants in it!
And this will be a very useful thing for him!

STORYTELLER: And since Winnie the Pooh was not far from Owl’s house at that time, and everyone in the forest was sure that Owl could write beautifully, he decided to visit her.

(Winnie the Pooh approaches the Owl's house (you can draw a house). There is a cord for a bell hanging above the door. Winnie the Pooh pulls the cord.)

OWL: Who's there?

WINNIE THE POOH: Owl! Open up! The bear has arrived!

(Owl appears.)

OWL: Hello, Pooh! What's the news?

WINNIE THE POOH: Bad news, Owl!
Eeyore's tail is missing, and it's his birthday!

OWL: Is the tail missing? On your birthday?

WINNIE THE POOH: Yes! And he needs to be consoled somehow!
So I decided to give him a potty!

OWL: This?

WINNIE THE POOH: Yes, and I wanted to ask you...

OWL: (sniffs) Honey was once kept here!

WINNIE THE POOH: You can hold whatever you want in it! This is a very useful thing!
And I wanted to ask you...

OWL: So that we can give it together!

WINNIE THE POOH: No! I want you to write "Happy Birthday" on it! and the signature "Pooh".

OWL: Can't you do it yourself?

WINNIE THE POOH: No, I can, but my spelling is poor. It's good, but lame.
So write on it: “Happy Birthday!”

OWL: No! I'll write it like this: (speaks with expression)"Happy Birthday! Wish
happiness in your personal life!”

WINNIE THE POOH: Great! Write it like that!

(The owl writes.)

OWL: Well, I wrote it!

WINNIE THE POOH: Thank you, Owl!

(Winnie the Pooh takes the pot from the Owl and looks at the cord that hangs above the door.)

WINNIE THE POOH: Listen, Owl, what kind of lace do you have?

OWL: Nice lace, isn't it?

WINNIE THE POOH: Yes! And he reminds me of something!
But I can’t remember what exactly!
Where did you get it?

OWL: I was walking through the forest one day... I saw a string hanging on a bush. At first I thought that someone lived there and called, but no one answered me. Then I called again louder, but again no one answered me, and the cord came off. I decided that no one needed him and took him home...

WINNIE THE POOH: Owl, but someone really needs him!

OWL: To whom?

WINNIE THE POOH: To my friend Eeyore! He loved him very much!

OWL: (surprised) I loved?

WINNIE THE POOH: Yes! And he was attached to him!
And if you give it to the donkey, he will be very happy!

OWL: Should I give this lace as a gift?
Are you sure he will be happy?

WINNIE THE POOH: Yes, I'm absolutely sure of that!
Well, I guess I'll go!

(Music. The curtain closes.)

STORYTELLER: Meanwhile, Piglet managed to run to his home and, grabbing a balloon for Eeyore, rushed at full speed, holding the balloon tightly to his chest so that it would not be blown away by the wind. Piglet was in a terrible hurry to get to Eeyore before Winnie the Pooh. He wanted to be the first to give the donkey a gift, as if he, Piglet, himself remembered his birthday, without any prompting. He was in such a hurry and so thinking about how the donkey would be happy with his gift that he didn’t look at his feet at all... And suddenly his foot fell into a mouse hole! Poor Piglet flew nose down! There was a crash: BOOM!!!

(Music. Piglet runs out onto the stage and falls. The ball bursts.)

PIGLE: Very interesting, what was that BOOM?
I couldn’t have made so much noise myself when I fell!
And where, I wonder, is my ball? (takes what's left of the ball)
And where, I wonder, did this rag come from?...
Oh, mom! Oh, mom, mommy! This is my balloon!!
Ah ah ah!! What to do now? After all, I don’t have another ball …(pause)
(sad) Maybe Eeyore doesn't like balloons that much?...

(Piglet slowly runs away from the proscenium.)

SCENE 3.

(Music. The curtain opens. Eeyore is on stage. Piglet appears.)

PIGLE: Good morning, Eeyore!

IA-IA: (sad) Good morning, Piglet! If it is good, of course!
Which I personally doubt!

PIGLE:

IA-IA: (surprised) As you said? Repeat!

PIGLE: Congratulations on your birthday!

IA-IA: Are you me?

PIGLE: Of course, Eeyore!

IA-IA: Happy birthday?

PIGLE: Yes!

IA-IA: So it's my real birthday?

PIGLE: Of course, Eeyore!
And I brought you a gift!

IA-IA: A gift for me?

PIGLE: Yes!

IA-IA: Thank you, Piglet! You are a true friend! Not like some!...
(interested) What did you bring me?

PIGLE: I brought you a balloon!

IA-IA: Balloon? It's so big and beautiful! They're still cheating him!

PIGLE: Yes, but just... you see... when I was running to quickly bring it to you, I fell!

IA-IA: Ay-ay, what a pity!
I hope you're not hurt, Piglet?

PIGLE: Me not! Thank you! But he...he burst!

IA-IA: My ball?

PIGLE: Yes!

IA-IA: My present?

PIGLE: Yes!

(Piglet hands the donkey what is left of the ball.)

IA-IA: (sad) Thank you, Piglet! (paused)
Excuse me, please, but I would like to ask you - what color was it when it was a ball?

PIGLE: Green!

IA-IA: (sad) Just think about it! Green... My favorite color!
What size?

PIGLE: Almost from me!

IA-IA: (sad) Just think, almost as big as you!... My favorite size!

(Winnie the Pooh appears on stage.)

WINNIE THE POOH: Happy Birthday!
I wish you happiness in your personal life!

IA-IA: Thank you, Pooh, I'm already lucky.

WINNIE THE POOH: I brought you a gift!

IA-IA: I already have a gift.

WINNIE THE POOH: This is very good gift! It's called the Useful Pot!

(Winnie the Pooh hands the donkey a pot.)

WINNIE THE POOH: Do you know what is written on it? "Happy Birthday!"
And you can put whatever you want in it!

IA-IA: (lively) Yes? But my ball will just fit into this pot!

WINNIE THE POOH: No, Eeyore! Unfortunately, balloons do not come in pots!
They're too big!

IA-IA: (proudly) It's the other balls that don't go in, but mine does!
Look, Piglet!

(Piglet sadly looks at what is happening, and Eeyore takes his burst ball and puts it in the pot, then takes it out and puts it on the ground, and then picks it up again and puts it in the pot.)

WINNIE THE POOH: Enter!

PIGLE: (joyfully) And it comes out!

IA-IA: (proudly) And he goes in and out!

WINNIE THE POOH: I am very pleased, Eeyore, that I thought of giving you a Useful Pot where you can put whatever things you want!

PIGLE: And I am very pleased that I thought of giving you such a Thing that you can put in this Useful Pot!

(At this time, Eeyore puts the ball in and takes it back out of the pot. At this time, the Owl appears with a cord in his hands.)

OWL: (speaks solemnly) Dear Eeyore!
On this significant day, I want to give you a modest but very useful gift!
This is the lace!

(The owl hands the lace to the donkey.)

IA-IA: What is this? I think it's my tail!

WINNIE THE POOH: Of course yours, Eeyore!

(Winnie the Pooh attaches the tail to the donkey.)

PIGLE: Hooray! The tail has been found!
The owl found its tail!

OWL: How's the tail?

WINNIE THE POOH: Well yes, tail!

OWL: What does it mean that I gave away a tail??

WINNIE THE POOH: Well yes, tail!

OWL: Tail?!

(The owl starts laughing. Everyone else joins in.)

PIGLE: How good!
WINNIE THE POOH: How good!
IA-IA: What a coincidence!
PIGLE: I found a pot for the ball!
OWL: And a birthday tail!
IA-IA: Eeyore! And I am of the same opinion! (2 times)

PIGLE: It's nice, needless to say,
WINNIE THE POOH: Birthday gifts!
PIGLE: We are happy to give it to a friend!
OWL: And this is without a doubt!
IA-IA: Eeyore! And I am of the same opinion! (2 times)

(Music. The curtain closes.)

END OF THE PERFORMANCE.

- Dear Eeyore! On this significant day, I want to give you free of charge...

Owl

Children love their birthday so much, love and wait. My son starts counting the days until his birthday right from... next day after the birthday. Adults, of course, are less joyful about the dates that mark their, so to speak, growing up. Although I have several friends of quite a decent age who have retained their childhood love for this holiday. My mother, a well-known joker in our family, says this on her birthday: “I don’t accept congratulations, I accept condolences.”

I try to be neutral about my birthday, making sure that the joy from the attention of loved ones is balanced with a slight sadness from the fact that I am getting older, and signs of age are reflected in my appearance without asking.

I do not indicate my date of birth in messengers and social media. networks, maybe this is to some extent a manifestation of harmfulness, but I prefer that those who congratulate me on my birthday, for some reason, wanted to do it on their own, and not because the program reminded them of it. It’s stupid, of course, but that’s my “fad.”

This year’s birthday turned out to be very interesting - I received and still receive (a week after my birthday) congratulations from complete strangers to me or from those from whom I did not really expect to receive them. Signs of attention, even insignificant ones, but made sincerely, are incredibly touching. Alone on Sunday elderly woman She presented me with a wonderful bouquet of tiny tulips (I’ve never seen anything like them) that she grew at her dacha.

Only mature men understand the deep meaning of the cartoon “Winnie the Pooh and Eeyore’s Birthday.” After all, only Owl (a woman) can give her cute donkey Eeyore (a man) his own tail for his birthday.

Previously, they wished “success in work and happiness in personal life,”
Now success in business and sex.

I certainly wish you all
Good luck in the educational process
Together with a woman in business,
Together with a man in sex.

Happy holiday, dear women!

Everyone knows the cartoon about Winnie the Pooh. Maybe someone even knows that
The script for this cartoon was written by Boris Zakhoder, a wonderful children's
writer, translator and more. Do you remember the moment when Vinnie asks
Owl to sign a pot as a gift for Eeyore’s birthday, and so
wrote "Happy-birthday-I wish-happiness-in-your-personal-life-Pooh"?
So - it's all a lie. Zakhoder's translation of the fairy tale Owl on the Potty
wrote, quote: ABOUT IN VALUE FUCKING FUCKING SIDE IRASH DAY ABOUT IN VAINING FUCKING FUCKING VLYA! *

But I wonder why this phrase was replaced in the cartoon?

*B. Zakhoder. Winnie the Pooh and all, all, all. On Sat. : Poems and fairy tales. - M.:
"Children's Literature", 1988.

Congratulations to all women on the upcoming March 8th, I wish you happiness,
love and beauty, and also have fun this day and wake up on the 9th
like that:

I woke up. Summer. Morning.
My weight is Net, no Gross.
"Gross" is drying on the fence.
I'm under it, on St. John's wort.

Nearby are vodka, roach, beer,
However, this happened before...
Right now two bottles, fish's tails,
It's strange that they didn't eat.

Tuzik, Tuzik... Good dog!
- Did you bring me the pickle?!
- In a bowl, you have to... - Yours?
- Well, I'm not squeamish.

You are a smart dog to me
- What didn’t work out here yesterday?
- What is my eye now?
- Spoils the profile and full face?

The muscle aches and hurts,
- And there’s a bump on my head.
- And from the left heel of the feet
- My blade is sticking out.

Tuzik! dog! Don't go!
- Take me to the restroom.
- I want to pee because I can’t bear it.
- I’ve been suffering since the very night!

Damn gone...I'll have to be here
- Sit straight under the fence.
- ABOUT! No need to take off your panties
- It’s a joy to be naked!

Well, you need to know and honor,
- Relieved - it's time to eat.
- The sun is in the middle of the sky,
- And I’m still without bread!

I need a scale, a bottle of beer...
Okay, bye! I go shopping!

Chapter six, in which Eeyore had a birthday and Piglet almost flew to the moon

Eeyore, an old gray donkey, once stood on the bank of a stream and looked dejectedly into the water at his reflection.

“A heartbreaking sight,” he said finally. - That's what it's called - a heartbreaking sight.

He turned and slowly walked along the bank downstream. After walking about twenty meters, he forded the stream and just as slowly walked back along the other bank. Opposite the place where he first stood, Eeyore stopped and looked into the water again.

“I thought so,” he sighed. - From this side it’s no better. But no one cares. Nobody cares. A heartbreaking sight - that's what it's called!

Then a crash was heard in the alder forest behind him, and Winnie the Pooh appeared.

Good morning, Eeyore! - said Pooh.

“Good morning, Pooh Bear,” Eeyore answered sadly. - If it's good morning. Which I personally doubt.

Why? What's happened?

Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing special. Still they can’t. And some don't have to. There's nothing you can do about it.

What can't everyone do? - Pooh asked, rubbing his nose.

Ah, I see... - said Pooh. He thought deeply, and then asked: “Under what walnut bush?”

Under which there are roasted nuts,” Eeyore continued sadly. - Round dance, fun and the like. I'm not complaining, but that's the way it is.

Pooh sat down on a large stone and tried to understand something. It turned out to be something like a riddle, and Pooh was rather weak at riddles, since he had sawdust in his head. And just in case, he sang a mysterious song:

ABOUT FORTY FIVES

My question is simple and short, -

The Rhinoceros said,

Which is better - forty fives

Or forty heels? -

Alas, no one is on this

I couldn't give it!

That's right, said Eeyore. - Sing, sing. Thrum-thump-thump-thrum-boom-boom. A stick was born in the forest, and it grew in the forest. And she brought a lot of joy to the children. Have fun and have fun.

“I’m having fun,” said Pooh.

“Some people succeed,” said Eeyore.

What happened? - asked Pooh.

Did anything happen?

No, but you look so sad.

Sad? Why should I be sad? Today is my birthday. The best day of the year!

Your birthday? - asked Pooh, terribly surprised.

Certainly. Don't you notice? Look at all these gifts. - Eeyore waved his front leg from side to side. - Look at the birthday cake!

Pooh looked - first to the right, then to the left.

Present? - he said. - Birthday cake? Where?

Can't you see them?

No, said Pooh.

“Me too,” said Eeyore. “It’s a joke,” he explained. - Ha ha.

Pooh scratched the back of his head, completely confused.

And today is really your birthday? - he asked.

Oh! Well, congratulations and wish you lots and lots of happiness on this day.

And I congratulate you and wish you much, much happiness on this day, Pooh Bear.

But today is not my birthday.

No, not yours, but mine.

And you say “I wish you happiness on this day.”

So what? Do you want to be unhappy on my birthday?

“Oh, I see,” said Pooh.

“It’s enough,” said Eeyore, almost crying, “it’s enough that I myself am so unhappy - without gifts and without a birthday cake, and generally forgotten and abandoned, and even if everyone else is unhappy ...

Winnie the Pooh couldn't bear it anymore.

Wait here! - he shouted and rushed home as fast as he could. He felt that he must immediately give the poor donkey something, and then he would always have time to think about the Real Gift.

Near his house, he came across Piglet, who was jumping at the door, trying to get the bell button.

Hello, Piglet, said Winnie the Pooh.

“Hello, Vinny,” said Piglet.

What are you doing?

“I’m trying to call,” Piglet explained. - I was walking past and...

“Let me help you,” said Pooh helpfully. He walked to the door and pressed the button. “And I just saw Eeyore,” he began. - The poor donkey is terribly upset, because today is his birthday, and everyone has forgotten about him, and he is very depressed - you know how he can do it - well, he is so depressed, and I... Why is this nobody to us? doesn’t open - did they all fall asleep there, or what? - And Pooh called again.

Pooh,” said Piglet. - This is your own home!

“Ah,” said Pooh. - Well, yes, that's right! Then let's go in!

And they entered the house.

Pooh first went to the cupboard to make sure he had a suitable, not particularly large pot of honey. The pot was in place, and Pooh took it off the shelf.

“I’ll take it to Eeyore,” he explained. - As a gift. What are you thinking of giving him?

Can I give it as a gift too? - asked Piglet. - As if from both of us.

No, said Pooh. - You came up with a bad idea.

Well then fine. I'll give Eeyore a balloon. I have one left over from the holiday. I'll go get him now, okay?

You came up with a very good idea, Piglet! After all, Eeyore needs to be cheered up. And whoever wants to have fun with a balloon! No one can be sad when they have a balloon!

Well, Piglet trotted home, and Pooh with a pot of honey headed to the stream.

The day was hot, and the path was long, and, not even halfway, Pooh suddenly felt some strange tickling. At first it tickled in his nose, then in his throat, and then it began to suck in the pit of his stomach, and so gradually reached his very heels. It seemed as if someone inside him was saying: “You know, Pooh, now is the time for a little something...”

Ay-ay,” said Pooh, “I didn’t know it was already so late!”

He sat down on the ground and took the lid off his pot.

“It’s good that I took him with me,” he said. - Quite a few bears on such a hot day wouldn’t even think of taking with them something to refresh themselves a little!…

“Now let’s think,” he said, in last time Having licked the bottom of the pot, let’s think about where I was going to go. Oh yes, to Eeyore.

Winnie the Pooh slowly stood up. And then he suddenly remembered everything. He ate the Gift!

Ah ah ah! - said Pooh. - What should I do? I have to give him something! Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!

At first he didn't really know what to think. And then he thought:

"It's still a very nice pot, although there's no honey in it. If I wash it properly and get someone to write 'Happy Birthday' on it, Eeyore can hold whatever you want in it. It'll be useful thing!"

And since he was not far from the Owl’s House at that time - and everyone in the Forest was sure that the Owl could write perfectly - he decided to visit her.

Good morning, Owl! - said Pooh.

Good morning, Pooh! - answered the Owl.

“Happy birthday to Eeyore,” said Pooh.

How's that? - Owl was surprised.

Yes. What are you thinking of giving him?

What are you thinking of giving him?

“I’m bringing him a Useful Pot as a gift, in which you can keep everything you want,” said Pooh. - And I wanted to ask you...

This? - asked the Owl, taking the pot from Pooh's paws.

Yes, and I wanted to ask you...

“They once kept honey here,” said the Owl.

You can keep whatever you want in it,” Pooh said seriously. - This is a very, very useful thing. And I wanted to ask you...

You would write on it: “Happy Birthday.”

So this is what I came to ask you about! - Pooh finally explained. - Because my spelling is kind of lame. In general, it is a good spelling, but for some reason it is lame and the letters are late... in their places. Will you write "Happy Birthday" on it? I beg you very much!

“Nice pot,” said the Owl, looking at the pot from all sides. - Can I give it as a gift too? Let this be our common gift.

No, said Pooh. - You came up with a bad idea. Let me wash it first, and then you can write everything on it.

And so he washed the pot and wiped it dry, and the Owl, meanwhile, was fiddling with the tip of her pencil and wondering how to spell the word “Congratulations.”

Christopher Robin told me what it said, and then I could do it,” Pooh answered.

Very good! So I’ll also tell you what will be written on the pot, and then you can read it!

And the Owl began to write... This is what she wrote:

“About in vain, wow, wow, in vain, mrash of the day, in vain, wow, wow, wow!”

Pooh looked at this inscription with admiration.

“I wrote here: “Happy birthday,” Owl remarked casually.

This is the inscription, this is the inscription! - Winnie the Pooh said respectfully.

Well, if I’m going to tell you everything, it’s written in full like this: “Happy birthday, I wish you all the best. Your Pooh.” I didn't take into account the consumption of graphite.

What? - asked Pooh.

There's a lot of pencil here! - explained the Owl.

Still would! - said Pooh.

Meanwhile, Piglet managed to run to his home and, grabbing a balloon for Eeyore, rushed at full speed, holding the balloon tightly to his chest so that it would not be blown away by the wind. Piglet was in a terrible hurry to get to Eeyore before Pooh; he wanted to be the first to give Donkey a gift, as if he, Piglet, himself remembered his birthday, without any prompting. He was in such a hurry and so thinking about how Eeyore would be happy with the gift that he didn’t look at his feet at all... And suddenly his foot fell into a mouse hole, and poor Piglet flew nose down: BOOM!!!

Piglet lay on the ground, not understanding what had happened. At first he thought that the whole world had gone up in smoke, then he thought that perhaps only their beloved Forest; even later - that maybe only he, Piglet, took off and now he is lying alone somewhere on the Moon and will never, ever see Pooh, or Christopher Robin, or Eeyore again... And then it occurred to him, that even on the Moon it is not necessary to lie with your nose down all the time. He stood up carefully and looked around.

He was still in the Forest!

“Very interesting!” he thought. “I wonder what kind of Boom it was? I couldn’t have made so much noise myself when I fell! And where, I wonder, is my ball? And where, I wonder, did this rag come from here?”

Oh God! This rag is exactly what it was! - his balloon!!

Oh, mom! - said Piglet. - Oh, mom, oh, mommy, oh, mom, mom, mom! Well... There's nothing to do now. There is no going back. I don’t have another balloon... Maybe Eeyore doesn’t like balloons that much?...

Good morning, Eeyore! - Piglet shouted from afar.

“Good morning, little Piglet,” said Eeyore. “If this morning is good,” he added, “which I personally doubt.” But it is not important.

“Happy birthday to you,” said Piglet, coming closer in the meantime.

Eeyore looked up from what he was doing and stared at Piglet.

Repeat, repeat,” he said.

Congratulations...

Wait a minute...

Having difficulty standing on three legs, Eeyore began to carefully raise his fourth leg to his ear.

“I learned this yesterday,” he explained, falling for the third time. - It’s very simple, and most importantly, I hear better this way. Well, everything is fine. “Just as you said, repeat it,” he said, using his hoof to point his ear forward.

“Happy birthday,” repeated Piglet.

Are you me?

Of course, Eeyore.

Happy birthday?

So it's my real birthday?

Of course, Eeyore, I brought you a gift.

Eeyore slowly lowered his right leg and, with considerable difficulty, raised his left.

“I want to listen with another ear,” he explained. - Now speak.

Present! - Piglet repeated very loudly.

For birthday?

Certainly!

So it turns out I'm having a real birthday?

Certainly! And I brought you a balloon.

Balloon? - said Eeyore. - Did you say balloon? They are so big, beautiful, bright, are they still inflated? Songs and dances, gop-gop-gop and trumpet-la-la?

Well, yes, but just... you know... I'm very upset,... you know... when I was running to quickly bring it to you, I fell.

Ay-ay, what a pity! You probably ran too fast. I hope you're not hurt, little Piglet?

No, thank you, but he... he... Oh, Eeyore, he burst.

There was a very long silence.

My ball? - Eeyore finally asked.

Piglet nodded.

My birthday present?

Yes, Eeyore,” said Piglet, sniffling slightly. - Here he is. Congratulations on your birthday.

And he gave Eeyore a rubber cloth.

It is he? - asked Eeyore, very surprised.

Piglet nodded.

My present?

Piglet nodded again.

“Thank you, Piglet,” said Eeyore. “Sorry, please,” he continued, “but I would like to ask what color he was when... when he was a ball?”

Red.

“Just think! Red... My favorite color,” Eeyore muttered to himself.

What size?

Almost from me.

Yes? Just think, almost as big as you!... My favorite size! - Eeyore said sadly under his breath. - So-so.

Piglet felt very unwell and didn’t really know what to say. Every now and then he opened his mouth, about to say something, but then decided that this was exactly what he shouldn’t say. And suddenly, fortunately for him, someone called out to them from the other bank of the stream. It was Pooh.

I wish you much, much happiness! - Pooh shouted, obviously forgetting that he had already said this.

Thank you, Pooh, I’m already lucky,” Eeyore answered sadly.

“I brought you a gift,” Pooh continued joyfully.

“I have a gift,” answered Eeyore.

Meanwhile, Pooh crossed the stream and approached Eeyore. Piglet sat a little away, sniffling.

“Here he is,” Pooh announced. - This is a Very Useful Pot. Do you know what is written on it? "Happy birthday, I wish you all the best. Your Pooh." That's how much has been written! And you can put whatever you want in it. Here you go.

Eeyore became very animated when he saw the pot.

Wow! - he shouted. - You know what? My ball will just fit into this pot!

“What are you, what are you, Eeyore,” said Pooh. - Balloons not included in pots. They're too big. You don't know how to handle them. Here's what you need to do: take the ball for faith...

“It’s the other balls that don’t go in, but mine does,” Eeyore said proudly. - Look, Piglet!

Piglet looked around sadly, and Eeyore grabbed his former ball with his teeth and carefully put it in the pot, then he took it out and put it on the ground, and then picked it up again and carefully put it back.

It turns out! - Pooh shouted. - I mean, he's coming in!

Enter! - Piglet shouted. - And it comes out!

It turns out great! - Eeyore shouted. - It goes in and out - it’s absolutely wonderful!

“I’m very pleased,” Pooh said joyfully, “that I thought of giving you a Useful Pot where you can put whatever things you want!”

“And I’m very pleased,” Piglet said joyfully, “that I thought of giving you such a Thing that you can put in this Useful Pot!”

But Eeyore didn't hear anything. He had no time for that: he either put his ball in the pot, then took it out again, and it was clear that he was completely happy!