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What do they look like, these very points of support? They can look different: it could be an apartment, work, person, animal, food, alcohol and much more.

Job

For example, let's take work. For some people work is just a place where he makes money, and nothing more. A person does not attach any serious importance to work, he just goes to work and that’s it. If it happens that he has to leave this job, he will not be particularly upset. There are enough other places in our world where you can earn money; in this case, work should not be considered a point psychological support. Work can be considered a fulcrum only if a person has merged it with own life, fate. In other words, for such a person work is life, or at least one of its most important components.

A very striking example is people who lived most of their lives in the USSR. In those days it was considered a great honor to work at one enterprise all your life., and to work with soul, devoting oneself to work, such an attitude was encouraged in every possible way and therefore it is not surprising that for many people work has become their life. Therefore, it is quite reasonable to equate work and the meaning of life. A person imbued with such an attitude, when fired, for some reason, loses the meaning of life and goes into deep depression or binge drinking. Some people find the strength to get back on their feet and continue on their way through life, while others fade away for the rest of their lives and live only with memories of that “happy” life.

Another option, more modern - A businessman who started his own business loving him passionately, devoting himself to this matter entirely and completely, without reserve. And if for some time things were going well for him, and in addition to money, he also received his own satisfaction, as well as the respect of others, then what will happen if this point of support is knocked out from him (take away or destroy his business), what will happen with a person? He can easily lose interest in life for several years, or even for life. But people have different wills and attitudes towards life; for some, a week may be enough to worry, and then he will get up and start something else. The fulcrum can also be called in other words, very the word importance is appropriate, something or someone.

Man as a fulcrum

A person can also be a fulcrum, For example, son for parents, husband for wife and vice versa, in general Any dear and close person can become a support point for someone. How to find out whether a loved one is a fulcrum for you or not? It’s very simple, if you live more of this person’s life than your own, this person is a fulcrum, if the loss of this person or a long separation is a disaster for you, this is again a fulcrum. At first glance, what’s so terrible about parents worrying about their son or a wife worrying about her husband? This is good, you say. Yes, this is not bad, but there is a limit for everything. We must not lead to fanaticism. If a son cannot calmly sneeze and not immediately receive a handful of pills, or dress the way he likes, he is constantly being watched out of a feeling of excessive love, then such love and care sometimes makes you want to run into the forest and hide in a dugout so as not to see anyone and not hear. In this case, at least two people are not living their lives, the one who is cared for and the one who is cared for.

In such cases, I always want to ask those who overprotect someone - What, you have nothing else to do, how to take care, and, frankly speaking, keep an eye on your loved one? Why do you think that your head knows better what a person wants, because he has his own worldview, his own wants. Why do you think that a person whom you consider family and friends should live in a prison of your wishes and beliefs?

Live your life and let others live theirs. For people who are overprotective of someone close to them, own life and destiny , it is unimportant and not needed for them, since they waste it so much. If the person under his care is taken away from such a person, and forever, (this will not necessarily be death, the person can simply say “stop looking after me, leave me alone” and will no longer allow me to interfere in his life, in other words, it will take away a person’s point of support, So what? What will happen to someone who has been deprived of the most important thing in life - the object of his care, interests, meaning? Anyone who has lost their point of support becomes psychologically disabled for some time and becomes useless, I would even say a burden, both for themselves and for those around them. Support points are the most important thing in a person’s life, his consciousness rests on them, they give a person the illusion of the need and importance of his life itself. Without them, a person does not see the meaning of life; without points of support, a person does not live, but lives out his life.

At first glance, they are necessary, even necessary for a person, but at a certain moment they become his psychological hell, and so it always is, all points of support will sooner or later become hell. A fulcrum is artificially created by the mind for itself illusion of the importance of some object, person or event. Most often, someone’s point of support is an empty space for others, nothing meaningful game imagination.

The fulcrum can also be called an idol for worship; consciousness itself created the idol, deified it, and itself worships and prays to it. Usually a person has several points of support, but not many, and it happens that he has absolutely one, more often than not, the fewer points of support, the greater their importance for a person and the more disastrous the consequences of its loss.

In fact, the fulcrum is the limitation of consciousness, stubbornness in one corner and not seeing the rest of the world. A correct understanding of this issue reveals to a person the equivalence of his entire surrounding world and eliminates the limitations of perception. In other words, a person receives as a gift not one or two toys, but a whole world filled with joy and happiness, and if something disappears from this boundless space, it will not bring pain and suffering. A person living on the seashore does not notice the disappearance of one pebble from the coast, because he has a whole shore of them. But on the other hand, if he creates points of support for himself (chooses several pebbles from the coast and falls in love with them), then the loss of one of them will be a tragedy.

Loving loved ones is necessary and very important, but don’t turn it into fanaticism

Love should be a gift!

The first and most important point of support should be for every person on himself, but also without fanaticism and idealization. That is, we all must understand that in life we ​​only have ourselves, from the beginning of life to the end, until the very last moment, everything else in life is given to us for a while, including close people, not to mention work , car, apartment and other generally accepted values, so you should not assign the importance of your whole life to them.

A person who has realized his value, importance and significance for himself will no longer impose himself on others with claims that he is not loved, paid little attention and in some other way does not stroke his ego. That’s it, he no longer needs it, he has become a spiritual adult and realized that if he himself does not fill his inner emptiness, not one person in the world will be able to do it for him. He becomes free and happy to the maximum given by his fate.

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The fulcrum in this context is a spiritual concept, which means its apparent invisibility. But even if we draw an analogy with the laws of physics, we can see that the fulcrum of any object relative to the surrounding space is located only in the object itself. Various forces can act on it, and the object itself can have characteristics and properties that distinguish it, but the support is always located in it itself, even if it varies in quality.

A person’s fulcrum is a spiritual concept, not a physical one, firstly, because a person is alive and has a soul. This is what distinguishes it from the subject and makes the methods of finding a fulcrum somewhat more complex.
A simple example, but understandable. If the safety of an object depends only on what external forces act on it, then a person’s safety depends on his ability to correctly use his fulcrum in different situations, since a person, first of all, has a will and can use this will purposefully. But humans, just like everyone else on the planet, are affected by certain laws. These are physical laws and laws of the universe; there are, of course, laws of society, which also have a certain influence. So many different schemes and laws! And where should we look for this fulcrum so that the influence of such laws does not turn us into an uncontrollable mass?

This fulcrum is within us. It has an energetic property. It cannot be called either will, or faith, or soul. Such a fulcrum is something invisible, but it allows a person not to become dependent on any phenomena, situations, people, or idols.
For example, it happens that a person considers his work to be a fulcrum; he has merged it with his own life and destiny. In other words, for such a person work is life, or at least one of its most important components. For a person who has internal point support, losing his job is, of course, painful, but he understands that it is replaceable, that he can earn money and self-realization in other places. A person will start a new business or get a job in another company. If work was a fulcrum for him - something on which he relied, giving meaning to his life, then with the loss of a position or business, the meaning of life goes away.

The internal fulcrum does not depend directly on external circumstances. Let us now try to examine this point within ourselves, to feel it.
Let us notice in what cases we feel most comfortable energetically. Through simple experiments, we will understand that we allow our strength and energy to flow away if we concentrate on how we are assessed, when we direct our thoughts to things that seem important to us (or rather, to our ego), but are secondary in essence for ourselves.
This is again a simple example, but it clearly shows where our energy flows. It leaks to other people when we react to an emotional challenge from the outside, because mentally we share our strengths with them when we give an emotionally rich (vivid) reaction to them. The lower the quality of the emotions we exchange, the worse we will feel. If we react to an insult, some obvious provocation aimed at taking energy, then we accordingly connect to the energies of the lower astral, which cannot give anything in return except dependence. In this case, a loss of support occurs.
Such loss occurs in many other cases. There can be many examples and situations. It makes no sense to list all the possible ones. But this does not mean that you need to isolate yourself from the world, you need to be able to distinguish your states, distinguish the quality of energy, be able to work with your body and pass certain energy through yourself - you can learn this.

How to find a foothold within yourself?

There is no need to be secretive at all, because this can also cause dissatisfaction. But the energetic trick is to not do or say anything too brightly. Only we ourselves should have a feeling of the importance of what we do. What is important here is our thought energy and where we direct it, without depending on anyone or anything.
Now, understanding (realizing) our state, whether it is yours or brought from outside, we acquire the opportunity to work on ourselves without disappointments and illusory ideas with the knowledge of the nature of things and the fact that in nature there are no permanent states, they need to be changed, improved, developed, constantly something then achieving, setting goals.

This very point of support lies in a harmonious energy state, balance. Imagine what exactly you currently lack for such balance. Energy may be in short supply or in excess. It remains to decide what is necessary - to replenish energy or spend a little. Much depends on your personality type and the state in which you are. We can only say that a person’s negative states take away his energy. A fulcrum is a state in which nothing influences us, and we ourselves know how to return ourselves to a state in which we influence the situation in the right way, harmoniously manifesting ourselves. (c) based on Irina’s article (Samopoznaniye)

If you take a closer look at the activity of people in this world, you will find that most of them, without knowing it, are in constant search for support. But in reality, people almost never find it, because there can be no genuine internal support in the outside world. Peter Zorin

When we internally focus on objective reality, our happiness begins to depend on the external world. And then the outside world is forced to continue to provide us with supports: material, emotional, financial, physical, related to relationships. If suddenly there is a failure and the supply stops, we are experiencing a deep crisis. Peter Zorin

People who do not have internal support sometimes assume that it can be found in another person. Unexpected behavior loved one then it is regarded as the collapse of all supports. An attempt to compensate in this way for the lack of one’s own internal support has never been successful for anyone.

If you are tired of straining, you have lost faith in yourself, what you want no longer seems so alluring - all these actions were not connected with internal support.

To achieve maturity, a person needs to overcome his desire to receive support from the world around him and find new sources of support within himself.

Maturity or mental health is the ability to move away from relying on the environment and from regulating oneself environment to self-reliance and self-regulation. Frederick Perls

The main condition for both self-reliance and self-regulation is a state of balance. The condition for achieving this balance is awareness of your needs, distinguishing between the main and the secondary.

The ability to rely on yourself grows and grows stronger around the time you gain the ability to do what you consider necessary. Do it regardless of what your environment thinks about it. You yourself should have a feeling of the importance of what you are doing.

Growing up, or maturity, occurs when a person mobilizes his strengths and abilities to overcome depression, anxiety, disappointment, despair and fear that arise due to the lack of support from others.

A situation in which a person cannot take advantage of the support of others and rely on himself is called a dead end. Maturity is about taking risks to get out of a dead end.

The search for culprits or the desire to manipulate deprive a person of a foothold. Accepting your responsibility opens up a sea of ​​opportunity, freedom and choice.

A fulcrum within ourselves makes us realize that the source of happiness, stability, and reliability is within us, giving us the strength to meet different situations calmly, with wisdom and courage.

Self-reliance is love guided by inner wisdom and does not depend on results obtained from the outside. It is not driven by fear, not based on titles, points of view, property, money, specific person or some external activities. Davidji

The most powerful support in the world is love, the strongest support in life is inner rod. Juliana Wilson

People who have true inner support are self-sufficient. They don't need anyone to support them, prove them right, or comfort them. One of the very important features Such people are characterized by their inner honesty before themselves. Peter Zorin

There are times when things in life don't go the way you wanted. This is a period of change. Not very pleasant events are happening around you that negatively affect your life. It seems that your luck has turned away from you: you have quarrels with your loved one every day, everything is falling apart at work, your health is starting to fail, and you feel like you are falling into depression.

This all looks like the end of the world, but it is absolutely not. This is a sign from above that you are doing something wrong, and fate is making its own adjustments. You need to stop and think about what is happening in your life.

Fate presents you with such moments for a reason; it gives you a chance to change everything that prevents you from developing and growing upward. You have completely forgotten what you wanted, what you dream about, and most likely, you live realizing the goals of others.

Stop

That's how it all happened to me. For a very long time I could not let go of the past, which I thought could be returned and everything could be fixed. I finally wanted to quit the unloved routine work, from which there was no pleasure, and resolve the matters that had accumulated for a long time. At one point I realized what I wanted from life - to find favorite hobby, which would bring joy and great income, go on a trip, relax.

As soon as I made the decision to change everything, fear and doubt suddenly appeared inside me that nothing might work out. And that day I fell very hard and broke my leg. After the hospital, I didn’t want to go home; I couldn’t walk for a while, and I was scared. Everything around me began to irritate me and I lost interest in life. I didn’t invite anyone to visit so that they wouldn’t see me so helpless and start feeling sorry for me. Something broke in me, and I became a hostage to my fear.

Epiphany

And then one day I finally overcame myself and decided to go outside and look at the world. I walked on crutches very slowly and looked around. An elderly woman was moving towards me married couple. Grandmother and grandfather walked with chopsticks and both smiled at me. They stopped opposite and the grandfather said: “Such a young guy and with crutches. Now I need a wand, but you don’t. You must get better."

And then it dawned on me. When I quit my job and left the sad past alone, which did not allow me to develop, but at the same time I was afraid of changes, I lost my foothold in life. At that moment my fate changed. After all, it was easier for me when others solved problems for me, and not myself.

The fulcrum in life is self-confidence. Despite what life throws at you, you need to hope and believe only in your own strength. You need to learn to listen to yourself and be able to stop when necessary.

I found my footing – it’s me!

If you feel that everything is not going according to your scenario and is going in a whirlwind... congratulations - this is a period of change! At such moments, all sorts of troubles happen to a person. He is haunted by failures: a “frost” appears in the relationship, although just yesterday everything was fabulous, at work everything becomes “electrified”, his health begins to fail, he feels a lack of strength, apathy appears, and he wants to sit down and just cry. It seems like the world is collapsing.

All these events are not the end of the world at all! This is a sign that you are lost and have gone the wrong way, and now your life is making its own adjustments so that you stop, think and find the strength to be in harmony with yourself and the world around you. These are the moments when life gives you a chance to fix everything, analyze, discard everything that pulls you down and does not allow you to develop. You probably got so caught up in your affairs that you forgot about inner world, about their real desires and dreams, lived, realizing other people's goals.

Stop

This happened to me too. For a long time I could not say goodbye to the past, and when I decided to dot all the points and tackle the unresolved issues that had accumulated over a long period, I quit my job, which no longer allowed me to develop, but turned into a routine. I knew exactly what I wanted, namely: to find a job I loved, to go traveling around the world. And as soon as I made a firm decision - “Yes!”, doubts, uncertainty and fear appeared inside. And I was seriously injured and broke my leg. I couldn’t walk, I lay there, gained weight and gradually lost my zest for life. I couldn’t gather myself into a “heap”. I didn’t want anyone to see me so helpless, and I slowly lost touch with the world around me. So I became a hostage to my fears. Something broke in me, and I was not ready for it.

Epiphany

And finally, I found the strength to go outside, take a walk on crutches, I walked slowly and looked around, looking at passers-by. Two smiling grandfathers with chopsticks were walking towards me. One of them came closer to me and said, “So young and on crutches!” How so? I'm an old grandfather! And here she is so young! You must be healthy." I smiled and the grandfathers moved on, already talking to each other. - “Do you know why she’s on crutches? And I'll tell you this! It's just a fulcrum."

And I thought, this is it! I lost my footing in life when I quit my job, leaving behind a lot of things that were pulling my strings to move on in new life, but at the same time I was so scared of the changes that I literally broke down. The moment of truth has occurred. It was much easier for me to be a puppet in someone’s hands than to take responsibility in my lifetime.

In order not to fall into the abyss of unpleasant coincidences, you need to be able to listen to yourself, stop, and not run headlong for happiness, money, success! This is the same fulcrum! This is believing in yourself, no matter what happens in life! This is hope for a happy future and gratitude for every moment!

I found my footing - this is me!