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Often the most insignificant situational conflict can escalate into a protracted war, which will poison the lives of not only those in conflict, but also everyone around them. Understands this problem psychologist Natalia Isaicheva.

WITH conflict situations Almost everyone faces this problem at work. Conflict is a contradiction, disagreement between people, groups, that arose in the process labor activity due to opposing interests and lack of agreement between the parties. It can be compared to a disease - if measures are not taken in time, it can affect more people, thereby causing the organization to suffer losses. It must be taken into account that the conflict also has a destructive effect on the health of the participants.

Some conflicts arise for objective reasons and relate to work, others for subjective reasons, affecting emotional and personal relationships. The main causes of conflict situations are the inability to communicate, differences in qualifications, goals, values, upbringing and behavior. The source of conflict can also be a leader if he shows vanity, rudeness towards subordinates, thereby violating work ethics. If the boss violates labor laws and cannot fairly evaluate the work results of each employee.

What are some ways to resolve conflicts at work?

1. Avoiding conflict

Its meaning boils down to the fact that one side does not want to participate in the conflict, ignoring the situation. If the conflict arose for subjective reasons, then this approach can have positive consequences. The other side can rethink the situation, calm down, and an open clash can be avoided.

But if the conflict arose on professional grounds, then avoiding it can only aggravate the situation, since the reason that caused the conflict has not been eliminated. In this case, the situation cannot be left unattended.

2. Smoothing out or adapting to conflict

The main goal of smoothing is to quickly prevent conflict through agreements, apologies, and demonstrations of humility. If a conflict situation arises between a manager and a subordinate, and no one is interested in the duration of the conflict, then this tactic, where one side gives in and allows the other to get what they want, can be positive.

The conflict is quickly resolved, the situation is comprehended, work is restored and can be saved a good relationship. In this situation, the cause of the conflict should be eliminated in order to avoid recurrence of the problem in the future.

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3. Forcing to resolve the conflict

The initiator of the conflict, using power, subjugates the employee to his will, while not taking into account his opinion. This is usually accompanied by blackmail, intimidation and other pressure techniques.

This is the most unpleasant way to resolve a conflict, as the other party feels humiliated and tension remains. Coercion can be justified: a) when there is a shortage of time; b) in emergency cases; c) with subordination.

4. Compromise

Complex, but effective method conflict resolution. Here the interests of each party are taken into account and alternatives are discussed. Compromise assumes that each party, to some extent, gets what they want while maintaining a good relationship. The goal of this method of conflict resolution is to gain something rather than lose everything.

5. Conflict resolution

This is the most effective way when the parties acknowledge differences of opinion and are willing to listen to other points of view in order to resolve the cause of the conflict and take actions acceptable to all parties. Here, disagreement is accepted as a normal phenomenon, which, through analysis and dialogue, leads to an optimal solution.

In resolving a conflict, the maturity of the parties and the art of communication with people play a big role, so it is very important to maintain restraint so as not to aggravate the situation. Give the party the opportunity to speak out “to the end”, using a therapeutic effect. Frank dialogue and a friendly atmosphere contribute to the speedy resolution of the conflict and its elimination.

There may be fewer conflicts in a team if everyone knows their rights and fulfills their responsibilities.

In any conflict situation, you need to radiate calm: confident intonation, without notes of arrogance or irritation in your voice; moderate rate of speech and low timbre of voice, which are most pleasant to the ear; a straight back, which puts you in a positive mood and gives you confidence.

And conflicts need to be resolved immediately, there is no need to hesitate and do it in a friendly atmosphere.

So, a conflict has arisen with a work colleague - what to do in such a situation? It is necessary to determine tactics of behavior depending on the circumstances.

There are several options:

1. Give in– the method is used in cases where there is no confidence in the rightness or strength in an open dispute, as well as if the opponent is much higher on the career ladder. In this case, the cause of the conflict is usually insignificant.
2. Insist on your own– you can use tactics if you are completely confident that you are right, and a mistake can seriously damage the common cause.
3. Avoiding conflict– this method saves time, but in the future it is possible that colleagues will stop taking the person ignoring seriously.
4. Compromise– the method is based on mutual concessions and is considered the most productive.

The choice of action depends on the specific situation.

How to resolve conflict at work between employees

If a conflict at work with a colleague has already occurred, the following tips will help resolve it:

1. Don't argue over email. The interlocutor must hear intonation and see emotions.
2. Warn about the need to meet. For example, you could say: “Do you have 10 minutes? I need to clarify a couple of operational points.”
3. Invite a colleague to lunch. Eating together - ancient way reconciliation.
4. Put yourself in the position of your interlocutor. We are talking about phrases like: “I understand that you are worried that everything is not working out the way you planned. Isn’t that what it’s all about?”
5. Think about the benefits for the common cause. For example, if they want to give your project to another employee, explain that you have found this client, which means he is comfortable communicating with you. This means that changing an employee could cause the company to lose money.

It is important not to stoop to insults and shouting. A scandal won't help matters.

How to avoid conflict at work with colleagues

There are several rules that will help you avoid conflicts with colleagues. Firstly, when applying for a job, you need to clarify job responsibilities, bonus scheme, working conditions, rules of corporate ethics, etc.

Secondly, there is no need to provoke and irritate the team. For example, you should not come to work in sneakers if the dress code only allows closed shoes. Thirdly, do not set yourself up for a quarrel. This means that there is no need to discuss appearance, character or gossip about your opponent when the essence of the dispute is in the financial report.

Greetings, my dear readers! Today we will talk about how to avoid conflict at work with colleagues. Some simple tips about how to choose communication tactics, how to learn not to work for others, what to do if there are constantly intrigues and conspiracies in the office, how to enjoy the work process.

Office intrigues and conspiracies

We all understand perfectly well that in the office, in addition to work, there is simple communication between colleagues. Sometimes it happens that the atmosphere in the team becomes tense and it becomes impossible to coexist normally.

It also happens differently, the team is so close-knit and friendly that it is more reminiscent of friendly gatherings than a work process.

Both cases have their pros and cons. In a tense environment, competition is more likely to appear, which helps improve the skills of workers, since no one wants to lose their place. The downside, of course, is the tense atmosphere and intrigue, which can unfairly hurt any employee.

In friendly communication at work, there is no doubt positive thing is a pleasant and peaceful office environment. Nobody argues, everyone tries to resolve the problem peacefully, and so on.

But the trouble is, in such a situation, a colleague often asks to do the work for him out of friendship. But it’s difficult to refuse, because he has a child and needs to be on time for class presentations. And you, out of the kindness of your heart and out of friendly motives, take on his work. And then again and again.

In the article “” you can learn in more detail about possible behavior strategies at work.

What you need to make a habit of

So, let's move on to tips that will help you avoid conflicts, teach you how to react correctly when you have a quarrel with a colleague, and tell you how to get out of difficult situations.

Don't be the initiator

The first and main rule is do not become the head of a conspiracy. When you yourself intrigue in the workplace, you cannot avoid conflicts. Not only are you wasting time on behind-the-scenes squabbles, you are not developing as a professional, but you are also ruining your relationships with your colleagues.

Don't get involved in adventures

Second, do not enter into conspiracies against colleagues. Even without being the initiator, if you get involved in an intrigue against someone, you thereby become an accomplice in the conflict.

Work is not the place to do such things.

If you don't like a person, his job, that is, more productive ways will handle it. Do not give in to the persuasion of the conspirators. Remember that you can also be manipulated for their own selfish purposes. The further you stay away from such companies, the less likely you are to become a participant in a conflict situation.

Do your work

Don't be lazy and don't get distracted. You have certain responsibilities that must be completed on time. Try to create a standardized schedule for yourself according to which you will carry out your work.

For example, if you need to read email, set aside an hour of your time in the morning for this. Don't be distracted by other tasks, turn off your phone, ask not to be disturbed. This way, you'll be more focused, get a lot more done, and ultimately be able to plan your entire work day.

Know how to say no

If there is a young lady in the team who, out of friendship, asks you to do some work for her, then learn to say “NO” to her.

First, you are underpaid for doing extra work.

Secondly, if she cannot cope with her volumes, then she needs to reconsider her performance.
You have your responsibilities. It’s better to focus on them and do your work efficiently, without being distracted by the requests of your colleagues.

It is better to refuse in a polite and courteous manner. Refer to the fact that you have a lot of work at the moment and you won’t be able to get bored, and your business is very important.

Exist various techniques refusals, choose the one that suits you best. But remember, refusal must be polite and unquestioning. Don’t leave the person hoping that when you are free, you will help. Don’t say the phrases “later, I’ll look later, I’ll do it when I’m free, etc.” Make it clear to the person that you cannot do their job.

Be friendly and polite

Openness and a smile are a direct path to friendly relations with colleagues. But remember that this should not be hypocrisy, hypocrisy and pretense. You choose your behavior strategy at work. And it is up to you to be friendly.

This does not mean at all that it is necessary to become friends with everyone. But you can easily be friendly. Say hello, don’t forget to congratulate you on holidays, take an interest in the affairs of people you are interested in.

If you don't be rude, bully, or start quarrels, then you are more likely to avoid conflict.

In the article "" I give practical and useful tips. If you have a quarrelsome person in your team, I highly recommend that you read the article.

Learn from experience

Don't be afraid to ask for advice. If there is a person in the company who can teach you something that will increase your efficiency, take advantage of it. This way, you can get a mentor and will develop professionally.

Remember that demand is not punishable. You can always ask. If they refuse, it doesn’t matter. You tried it. But you shouldn’t plan a dirty trick against a person who knows more than you. It's counterproductive. And it may end badly for you.

I hope my advice will be useful to you and you will truly enjoy your work!

Conflicts at work are extremely common. There are no ideal teams; even the friendliest employees may have misunderstandings on professional or personal grounds. Numerous scientific works and abstracts have been written about disagreements in the service, but to find an answer to the question of how can an ordinary employee survive in work collective in case of conflict, it is still very difficult. A MIR 24 correspondent asked psychologists what to do to avoid conflict and what to do if a conflict has already arisen.

Avoid a fight

Psychologists say that first of all, one should avoid creating a conflict situation at all costs. Because preventing it is much easier than fighting it later.

According to a specialist in the field of conflict psychology Marina Shirokova, candidate of psychological sciences, senior researcher at the Laboratory of Labor Psychology at Moscow State University, “it is very important when communicating with colleagues to maintain a balance in relationships, to treat colleagues the way you would like them to treat you.” , apply time management rules, which is a sign good manners at work, show a sincere desire to cooperate.” “A sense of humor is also very helpful in establishing and maintaining relationships with colleagues and does not provide the opportunity to enter into conflicting relationships. It is possible and necessary to work without conflicts in a team,” she says.

It is especially important for a newcomer to avoid conflict, because for him the rules of the game in a team are not yet clear. As practicing psychotherapist Nikolai Naritsyn said, “practically any team, especially one that has been established for a long time, has its own unspoken laws and rules, behind-the-scenes intrigues, as well as its own coalitions and oppositions.”

“Yes, sometimes they treat a newcomer kindly - he has not yet found his bearings and has not joined one or another secret association. And if he reaches out to some informal group without figuring out who it is against (relatively speaking), he can sometimes be exposed to attack by the enemy group. To be, as they say, extreme on some issues. It’s not for nothing that many behind their backs call their colleagues “a terrarium of like-minded people,” added Nikolai Naritsyn.

How to behave if you are a beginner

When coming to a new place of work, you need, first of all, to understand how this team operates, according to what laws. Get to know the people who work there, watch them to understand who your new colleagues are and how they do their work in this team. Under no circumstances should you immediately introduce your own routines, habits, attitudes, or make your demands into the team, even if you came in the role of a leader. It is better to concentrate not on your positioning, but on collecting information about the rules of life here. At first, it’s good to limit your circle of intensive communication to those people with whom you perform direct work tasks, but listen to what they say around you.

As the head of the laboratory of labor psychology at Moscow State University, professor, doctor of psychological sciences Anna Leonova advises, we must carefully master the interpersonal communication skills that have already developed in this team. “Each team member has his own position, his own role,” she said. “Some are the boss, some are the old-timers, some are argumentative, some are the role model of moral behavior in this group.” In 2-3 weeks you will understand how it is customary to dress, whether personal conversations on the phone are acceptable during the working day, how it is customary to communicate with the most authoritative people, and the extent to which subordination is observed in relations with superiors. To understand the laws and characteristics of this group, some time must pass.

What to do if a conflict does arise

As practice shows, even the most correct behavior in the workplace is not a guarantee that a conflict with colleagues will not arise. If a conflict has already developed in your team, then you need to decide whether you want to participate in it. If you feel that this conflict does not affect your interests, then you can try to walk away from it, not to participate in it, to avoid it, to not allow yourself to be drawn into skirmishes and debates. If you feel that the conflict affects your interests, then you will have to intervene. Moreover, openly declare yourself as a party to the conflict, for example: “I would like to express my opinion. It is also important for me to take part in the discussion of this issue.” In this case, you must follow safety rules. They were formulated by Rodion Chepalov, consultant psychologist and coach at the Nekrizis center (St. Petersburg). Here are his tips:

• The main thing is not to get emotionally involved in the argument. Don't raise your voice, even if you're being shouted at.
• Try to structure the information: what are the parties to the conflict and what is their position, what does each participant want.
• Help people rationally formulate their demands if they cannot do so.
• Help me develop a few rational decisions conflict and propose them for discussion.
• Set the rules for discussion: time, method (written, oral).
• Find out who will be the arbiter or judge (for example, the boss).

If a labor dispute arises, it must be resolved rationally, with a clear statement of positions, opportunities, and wishes.

If the conflict concerns you personally

The tactics may be completely different if you personally have a conflict with one of your colleagues. After all, besides objective reasons, there may be a lot of subjective ones related to the division of spheres of influence, envy, jealousy or personal hostility. This is not at all a reason to change jobs or become an outcast in the workplace. There are rules, following which you can stay afloat even in difficult situation. In some cases, industrial conflict can even be turned to your advantage if you act skillfully enough.

Be discreet

Don't lose your composure is the first and mandatory rule. Not a single situation, much less a conflict, can be resolved under the pressure of resentment, rage, or panic. Under no circumstances should you give free rein to your emotions. If it’s difficult, learn a few relaxation and concentration exercises. Work with your internal state, turn on humor. Speak correctly, refrain even from “bashing” and sarcasm.

Minimize contact with the enemy

Try to minimize contacts: do not go to lunch in the same company, do not go to the smoking room at the same time, expand your workplace so as not to see the opponent or obscure him with the computer. If internal company rules allow this, use headphones so as not to hear his voice. If you are solving a common problem and it is impossible to exclude communication, try to formalize and depersonalize this communication as much as possible. Discuss everything possible via email.

Do not leave documentary evidence of the conflict

Everything written can be used against you. Therefore, it is necessary to conduct electronic correspondence in the most correct form. It is good if it is customary in the company to copy the management or all persons involved in the decision of the general work task. This will most likely force your opponent to behave correctly. And if not, it’s worse for him. Rude emails, as evidence of unrestrained behavior that is also documented, are a serious argument against him in the eyes of colleagues and management.

Refrain from discussing the situation with colleagues

Avoid discussing the current situation with colleagues. Rise above it. Act as if there is no conflict or you have already forgotten about it. The position of a person who is above the situation, and not stewing in it, is obviously more advantageous. Demonstrate a calm and friendly mood. Sometimes this is enough for the situation to gradually resolve itself.

When is it time to come to the negotiating table?

The most unproductive way to resolve a dispute is to try to sort things out, especially in public. As a rule, it is impossible to resist emotions, and then everything goes to dust. preliminary work. Remember, it makes sense to discuss something only when the other side clearly demonstrates a willingness to reconcile and is constructive. But even then, don't be the first to propose a truce. If in personal relationships You can and should be the first to take steps towards reconciliation, but in labor conflicts this can be regarded as weakness and an admission of defeat, or even guilt. However, if you do sit down at the negotiating table, be prepared for mutual concessions on at least something. Otherwise, the conflict will flare up even more than before.

Not all remedies are good

On an everyday level, you can receive a lot of advice from “well-wishers” to collect dirt on your opponent, or to weave an intrigue, as a result of which he will appear in an unfavorable light in the eyes of his superiors. Popular psychological websites and magazines are full of the same advice. Don't fall for these methods! Even if your idea is crowned with success, you will acquire an image in the team that will sooner or later backfire on you. Such a “victory” is worse than defeat! People are not blind or stupid, and ultimately everyone knows who is worth what. Better become even more correct and considerate towards those who are not involved in the conflict.

Work even harder

If you really decide to act with “pure” methods, make sure that you have nothing to reproach you for. Do your work even harder, try to take on more responsibility. This will also distract you from unnecessary thoughts. When a person is busy with business, he has no time for intrigue. And do not draw the attention of your superiors to your conflict! Most likely, it is already aware and, perhaps, annoyed about this.

Be better than your opponent

When conflicts arise at work, the sympathy of colleagues and superiors is not always on the side of the one who is really right. Because we are all human and would rather admit that a gloomy, gloomy and always dissatisfied employee with everything makes a mistake than someone who is known to us as a positive, friendly and sociable person who always supports the common cause, works hard and honestly, helps others and generally deserves trust. So work hard to have just such a reputation! And be above the conflict! The faster you forget about it yourself (or pretend that you forgot), the faster the situation will be resolved or forgotten within the team.

The art of resolving conflicts at work and correctly understanding the causes of their occurrence comes with experience. Such situations will have to be dealt with more or less constantly, and it is important to learn not to make too much of them. of great importance. In the end, you shouldn’t waste your energy and nerves on all this. Work should remain work. And leave life, emotions, suffering and joy for your loved ones!

Sometimes it is quite difficult to understand why a conflict occurred at work, how to behave in this situation, and to avoid this in the future.

Initially, it is necessary to identify the root of the conflict and its subject. Try to assess the hidden threat. It is important to know that debates are not always about finding out the truth. The motive may be hidden resentment, personal hostility, the possibility of humiliation in the eyes of others, “liberation” from accumulated anger.

We must also remember that the other side chooses a different line of behavior, which must be correctly assessed. An adversary confident in his personal strength will not shy away from investigating his involvement. Its complete opposite does not reveal the subject of the conflict and relentlessly stands its ground. It is difficult to resolve conflicts at work, how to behave if the opponent is stubborn, primitive, and has a certain sphere of influence at work.

An intellectually narrow-minded or unbalanced person who is guided by emotions rather than common sense is dangerous. The conflict with him cannot be brought to its logical conclusion. When all the argumentation is over, the final justification may be physical force.

Strategic rationale for conflict

The next stage is choosing a strategy for resolving a conflict situation. There are five main behavioral styles:

1. Competition, rivalry is a tough style, the struggle of both sides is equal. It is resorted to when own strength exceed your opponent's capabilities, and the end result is meaningful to you.
2. Avoiding a dispute. They are used when the resolution of kurtosis can and should be postponed to a later period. This line of behavior is optimal in a dispute with superiors. Choosing this strategy is advantageous in the following situations:

• defending your own views is unprincipled;
• the priority is to maintain consistency and tranquility;
• the likelihood of a more complex dispute developing;
• awareness of being wrong;
• the hopelessness of the conflict;
• large-scale intellectual and time costs;
• In the first place is the desire to maintain good relations with the opponent.

1. Device. Here you need to rebuild your line of behavior, smoothing out antagonism, sacrificing your principles. From the outside, it seems as if there is no dispute as such. Choosing this style is obvious if you need to gain time. An important incentive is moral victory or maintaining good relations with the opposing side.
2. Cooperation strategy. This is the formation of a solution through joint efforts, taking into account mutual interests. The process is lengthy, contains several stages, but is beneficial for the overall benefit of the business. The strategy is applicable in situations where a joint solution to a problem is required and the time period allows for this. This line of behavior should be chosen if the desire to maintain relations with the opposite party prevails. And finally, the strategy is good when the opponents have equal capabilities.
3. Compromise strategy. Mutual concessions help resolve disagreements. It is preferred at the moment when it is impossible to obtain the final result without joint efforts.

Possible options:

• accept a preliminary conclusion;
• adjust starting tasks;
• receive a fixed portion to avoid a total loss.

This strategy is ideal for resolving a dispute at work; it’s easiest to understand how to behave. But this line of behavior is applicable if:

• the arguments are convincing on both sides;
• it takes some time to solve more complex problems;
• showing your own superiority will not lead to success;
• the conflicting parties are endowed with identical powers and have common interests;
• a short-term solution takes precedence over winning an argument;
• getting a partial result is more important than losing all opportunities.

Way out of a conflict situation

Having determined your line of behavior, it is important to follow it clearly and skillfully maneuver. There are certain rules of conduct in the event of a conflict of interests:

In conclusion one thing general rule for all occasions - during an argument, it is impossible to take a closed pose and look directly into the opponent’s eyes. This will only provoke unnecessary aggression.