How to be a confident person. How to develop self-confidence

How difficult and long a path do you need to walk in order to educate and grow it in yourself?

I wonder how faith in one’s own strength and trust in one’s own personality begins? Your opinion?

Turns out, confident behavior is the result of confident thinking. The way a person imagines himself is the way he looks. And he acts based on internal installations, ideas about oneself.

How to become confident?

You can start with the simplest thing - portraying a confident person in any life situations. In the supermarket, in the pool, on the street, among colleagues, in the subway. The well-known law of the transition of quantity into qualitative changes will work here. You will show more, and with every action you will become more confident. Step, one more, next. And the process began! With every step it gets better, more natural, more persistent.

This is how you can outsmart your thinking, which is fixated on patterns. You can easily and unobtrusively change your mind, imagining yourself as an actor who selflessly and talentedly plays a role. You decide when to put the actor on stage, when to turn the “switch” to turn it off. You are in complete control of the situation. You decided that at the party you will be embarrassed - there will be strangers there, so act like that. Be shy okay! With all your might! Tired of it? Switch the “switch” - choose confident behavior, communicate as equals, with dignity and self-respect.

How to look confident?

One hundred percent in the history of your life there were moments when you were a confident person.

Remember them.

Perhaps - in childhood, when you helped your little sister fasten her sandals, or at school, when you recited a poem you had learned with pleasure. Or in my youth, when I won sports competitions.

Or in situations when you were among close and dear people, when you spoke in front of an audience or talked with some person.

Recall in your memory the intonations, how you spoke, how you breathed, how you moved, how you gestured, what position you were in? What did the voice sound like, what did the face express, what were the sensations?

Now, in order to “turn on” the confident person in you, repeat all this, copy your posture, pace and volume of speech, gestures - get into the desired state. There is no need to invent anything, you have already been in this place - in the body, you were such a person, now you remember it and make it your natural state.

When you are confident, others perceive your dignity, self-confidence, and self-respect. And they strengthen you even more in these sensations.

  1. Space. A confident person inhabits the space well. Fully occupy the offered chair or armchair, lean back, use the armrests. Make broad gestures, on a grand scale, expanding the area of ​​your influence. Be different from the insecure, who, on the contrary, strives to shrink, shrivel up, take as much as possible less space, sit on the edge of a chair, limiting himself to meager gestures.
  2. No fuss. Is there a standard for a confident person for you? Who is this? Margaret Thatcher? Angelina Jolie? Ivan Urgant? Sylvester Stallone? Or someone else? Imagine your ideal person jumping nervously in his chair, fidgeting, intensely fiddling with his tie, and drumming his fingers on the table. Yes, it's hard to imagine. Confidence is incompatible with vanity. Take it away.
  3. Straight pose. In any position, standing or sitting, maintain straight posture. It allows you to radiate confidence, feel it and look like a confident person. Practice: chest forward, shoulders back, keep your head exactly horizontal and vertical plane. Imagine as if there is a string coming out of the top of your head that is pulling you into the heavens. Remember this pose and merge with it.
  4. Rate of speech. When someone jabbers and speaks very quickly, it is difficult for him to be confident and independent. A confident person speaks with feeling, clearly, with emphasis, without tension. He knows that he will not be interrupted, he will be allowed to speak. Speech rate is average and smooth. Make it a rule that the more worried and nervous you are, the slower and calmer you speak, and pause. Speak as if you are communicating with a child and it is important for you that he understands you.
  5. Me, me and me again. Speak in the first person. Use phrases: I think, I believe, I decided, I found out, I support, I disagree, I think differently. Feel free to express your opinion, do not hide behind the streamlined and impersonal “we”, “everyone”, “joint decision”, “everyone”. Avoid excuses!
  6. Eye contact. A confident person shifts the focus from himself to others. He is not fixated on himself, he is interested in the interlocutor and the world around him. Therefore, a direct, open look is very important and helps to be confident and makes people understand your interest. When communicating, you connect not only your hearing, but also an additional channel of perception, “listen with your eyes”, perceive and understand your interlocutor more clearly.
  7. Dignity. Take the example of the king of beasts, the lion. What plasticity, strength and power in his movements. Slowly, with dignity, confidently, elegantly. To be sure, slow down. Move like a king. Your movements should be smooth, meaningful, thoughtful, unhurried.
  8. Acceptance of yourself and others. Be calm, friendly and kind, even if the other person does not agree with you or you with him. Believe in yourself, in your point of view. Yours will not make people think the same way as you. Your goal is to be respected.
  9. Gesture of a confident man – spire-gesture. The fingertips of one hand touch the tips of the other hand at an acute angle, forming a spire. This is a signal of confidence and calm. Use it as an additional way to behave confidently.
  10. Don't try to please everyone. You need to be good, first of all, for yourself. Your confidence should not depend on how, when and how you are assessed and accepted.
  11. Pauses. Insecure people are afraid of silence, afraid of silence and are quick to break it. There is no need to “go out of your way” to fill every second with, albeit meaningless, chatter. Pause before you answer. Small. One to two seconds. Think about what you heard, what your interlocutor wanted to convey to you. This will give you confidence and help you control the situation in communication.
  12. Laughter. Don't giggle. You're not at the circus. Giggling is a sign of uncertainty and instability. Appreciate good jokes: smile or laugh calmly.
  13. Nodule disease. If you listen to your interlocutor and agree with him, you don’t need to continuously nod your head - you are not a “Chinese dummy.” You are a serious, confident person. A couple of head tilts in agreement are quite sufficient.
  14. Secret and obvious. Being in any situation: in or with people, in the rays of the sun or in the dark, do not do anything for which you will be ashamed of yourself. Act in accordance with your principles, do not prevaricate, and she will reward you with the foundation on which self-confidence and high self-confidence will rest.
  15. I don't know and I'm not afraid. If you want to be trusted, never be afraid to admit that you don't know something. “I have not yet encountered such a problem. Right now I don’t have an answer to this question.” It is impossible to know everything. Realize this and feel free to say what you don’t know. This will help you build your self-confidence even further.

Friends, everyone has absolutely everything they need to be confident, starting with today, from now on. To do this, you do not need to read additional literature, make an appointment with a psychologist, or undergo training. Just decide to be a confident person, flip the switch and turn on your new personality. Good luck!

Video for you "Confidence is the key to victory."

P.P.S. If you liked the article, comment and click on the social network buttons; if you don’t like it, criticize and click on the social network buttons to discuss and express your opinion. Thank you

In one situation or another. True, it is one thing to experience uncertainty justifiably, but it is another thing when a person constantly doubts everything. can easily ruin a person's life. If this state of affairs does not suit you, and you are thinking about how to become a confident person, then everything can still be corrected.

Three types of behavior

There are three main types of behavior:

  1. Aggressive.
  2. Passive.
  3. Confident.

An aggressive person humiliates people and infringes on their interests. Such a person tries to achieve his goal no matter what. Naturally, others do not accept such a person and try to avoid him.

A passive person, on the contrary, yields to other people in everything, thus infringing on his own interests. Such an individual gives society the right to decide everything for itself, and as a result does not achieve its goals.

The behavior of a confident person differs significantly from the above types of behavior. man, what are his characteristic differences that can be identified? Confident person:

Does not resolve all issues at the expense of other people;

He achieves his goals without affecting the interests of others;

People are always drawn to such a person;

A confident person often experiences mental comfort;

He brings a lot of positivity into the lives of others;

Such an individual expresses his thoughts without offending the interlocutor.

How to become confident and successful, guided by these theses? Psychologists advise starting, first of all, with the body. Be sure to watch your gestures, posture, and poses. Do not slouch, do not lower your head, but, on the contrary, always walk with your shoulders back and your head held high. When communicating with your interlocutor, look straight ahead, not at the floor or to the sides.

A very important element for developing self-confidence is, of course, the voice, as well as the pace of speech. How to become a confident person with the help of correct speech? It is very important that your voice is firm, even and calm. Control it even when you are angry. The pace of speech should not be fast, no hesitation and no words such as “well”, “like”, “you know”, etc.

One more significant aspect is self-esteem. How to become a confident person? Boost your self-esteem! High (but in no case will it help a person become much more successful in many areas of life. Unfortunately, many people have quite low self-esteem. They are used to focusing on their failures and very quickly forgetting their achievements. It would be good to keep a diary where you You will record your successes, even the small ones. After some time, you will find quite a few goals achieved in your journal.

As practice shows, women most often suffer from self-doubt. and self-confident? We advise you to first analyze your attitude towards yourself, and then towards others. Think about how you communicate and how you feel, what prevents you from being confident. Remember, your self-esteem should not constantly change due to negative evaluation of your behavior or other failures.

Systematic work on yourself will definitely help you become a confident person and improve the quality of your life.

Instructions

Remember that self-doubt is determined by the fears lurking in the mind. In this case, the main thing is the fear of how others will perceive your words, actions, appearance, what they will think of you, etc. and so on. Knowing the cause of uncertainty, you can fight it.

You need to do something and you are unsure of yourself. Imagine that the worst thing that can happen in this situation has already happened. Come to terms with this internally, accept it as a fact. For example, a guy wants to meet you (or vice versa), but is afraid to take the first step - to approach, to say something. Fears: they will laugh at him, they will refuse him reciprocity, he will look very stupid.

If you find yourself in this situation, evaluate your fears and accept that all this can happen. Moreover, accept the negative outcome as already accomplished, feel it. Everything has already happened, you have nothing to fear anymore. Therefore, nothing prevents you from approaching and saying the first words.

Use small accomplishment tactics. Find small daily challenges for yourself and overcome them. They can be outwardly quite insignificant - asking someone about something, doing something in front of others. By overcoming your insecurities in small things, you will gradually begin to notice that it is increasingly easier for you to communicate with people.

If you have a big task ahead of you, break it down into a sequence of small actions, and then focus on completing them one by one. This approach gives good results - you stop seeing the big picture. difficult task, appears instead a large number of small actions, each of which individually does not look so scary.

Always remember that the vast majority of people don't care about you. They don't care what you look like, what you say, how you act, etc. and so on. If you are walking down the street, looking down and blushing at the mere thought that others are looking at you and might think something negative, relax - they are interested in their own problems and concerns, but not you.

Learn to smile. A smile is an excellent way to relieve excess stress. Smile, even if you are in a completely inappropriate mood for this, and you will immediately feel your fears and stiffness go away. The effectiveness of a smile as a means of combating uncertainty, constraint, and stress is explained purely physiologically: people smile when they feel good and comfortable. By smiling in a situation where you are not in the mood to smile, you trigger a feedback mechanism that allows you to relax and feel more confident.

Choose the image of a totem animal that, in your mind, is associated with strength, dexterity, and confidence. Then try to feel like one. For example, walking down the street, imagine yourself as a lion. The lion is the king of the jungle, no one and nothing can resist him. Feel his strength, calm grace, a certain laziness caused by the feeling of his own power. Enter the image and you will see that uncertainty goes away, it is much easier for you to cope with what causes you fears.

Self-confidence and self-confidence is not only an active life position, but also the key to success in any area of ​​life. Confident women reach the top career ladder, subjugate men and evoke admiration from others. There are several ways to develop a sense of confidence.

Instructions

The first thing you need to pay attention to is your behavior. Strong natures move with confident steps, have impeccable posture and “royal” manners. A woman with all her appearance should command respect and admiration. Do not confuse self-confidence with. Pride and indifference to the opinions of others is not a sign of confidence. In this case, we mean a firm position in life and a focus on achieving one’s goals.

The second point is appearance. Many may assume that a confident woman must wear business suits and use minimum quantity makeup. On the one hand, such traits may indicate confidence, but they are not its main signs. A playful girl in jeans and a simple hairstyle can look much stronger than a strict lady in a pantsuit. The main thing is to present the image to others. If you decide to do exotic makeup, show with all your appearance that it is beautiful.

The third point is attitude towards yourself. Never engage in self-flagellation and self-criticism. By criticizing your appearance and behavior, you only make the situation worse. Smile at yourself in the mirror, compliment yourself, admire yourself. If you love yourself, then those around you will change their attitude towards you.

In conversations with others, never hesitate to express your opinion, even if it differs from the point of view of the majority. Play out situations in front of a mirror and think about what arguments you can use to persuade. Speak in public more often, do not refuse the opportunity to speak in front of a large audience.

Make excuses to others as little as possible. Even if you made a mistake, you shouldn’t turn it into a lifelong problem. It is likely that success awaits you in a new business or in a completely different field of activity.

Video on the topic

Often insecure people try to hide their fear behind a mask of indifference or imperturbable calm. Here are some dos and don'ts that will help you feel comfortable in any environment.

Instructions

The simplest things influence our lives. These things include a smile. Even if you are in a bad mood, try to smile and your mood will immediately improve. A person who smiles and smiles looks happy, open, attractive to people and, of course, confident.

Fussiness is the first sign of discomfort. To increase your self-confidence, calm down and find a comfortable, relaxed position. As you learn to express calm on the outside, you will gradually become calmer on the inside.

Fear of direct eye contact reveals an indecisive and insecure person. Therefore, to show your confidence, look into a person’s eyes when talking and do not try to hide your gaze. This will let him know that he is heard and understood.

Many people, when nervous, begin to giggle, which has nothing to do with healthy laughter. To prevent this from happening, avoid awkward situations. An open smile and laughter will say much more about you than inappropriate nervous laughter.

To avoid feeling awkward, talk more. If you have nothing to say, then ask intelligent questions that can show your attentiveness and professionalism. And these are the qualities of a confident person.

In any conversation, sooner or later there comes a time when questions begin to be asked of you. To increase self-confidence, you need to become a full participant in the conversation. And this implies benevolence and openness to interlocutors.

Video on the topic

How difficult it is sometimes for a teenager to assert himself in a team! Only a few become leaders, the rest are content with the role of “average”, and some, unfortunately, become outcasts. To help a teenager adapt to a social environment and position himself correctly in a team, a sense of self-confidence is necessary. A few tips will help you develop it.

Don't pay attention to any ridicule! After all, you can find a lot of reasons for them - for example, a funny last name, too short or, on the contrary, too big height, features of the figure and build, poor eyesight, an unusual hobby, etc. and so on. The main thing here is not to get into a fight, no matter how offensive it may be. You need to learn to calmly look into the eyes of those who offend you and shrug your shoulders indifferently. All! After two or three attempts, those teasing will lose any desire to continue - after all, they wanted to provoke negative emotions, enjoy the humiliation of the weak. And since the goal is, then there is no point in trying.

Don’t be afraid to stand out from your peers. An unusual hairstyle and clothes will allow you to be different from everyone else - the main thing is not to overdo it! Non-standard behavior first arouses interest and then a desire to imitate. It has long been noted: if, for example, a student at school during recess does not take part in general games, but steps aside and begins to do his own thing - draw, play a game, etc. – then soon the West class will gather around him. Worth a try!

Take care of yourself! Impeccable appearance is the key good attitude those around you. But it can alienate people, for example, bad smell from the mouth, sniffing, the appearance of bitten nails, the aroma of sweat from the armpits, etc. All this must be controlled! You can even make a special memo about what you need to check in your appearance, and review it before leaving the house.

Keep your head held high. Don't slouch, straighten your shoulders proudly, lift your chin - that's the image! You should learn to look your interlocutor straight in the eyes when speaking. And a charming smile will complete the “royal” appearance and disarm even negatively minded opponents.

You can't achieve anything in life without self-confidence. It is self-confidence that helps you not to give up and find the strength to move on. Self-confidence is an acquired character trait, not an innate one. It’s rare that someone is so lucky that he doesn’t suffer from complexes and doesn’t become disappointed in himself over time. Self-confidence is formed through character, personal qualities and hard work on oneself. Therefore, it depends only on you how quickly you develop self-confidence.

You will need

  • Willpower and desire.

Instructions

Don't forget about your successes. Very often people focus not on their own achievements, but on what they failed to do. Of course, this is not bad if a person wants to correct the situation and achieve what he wants, but when this leads to a decrease in self-esteem and self-confidence, real problems begin. Therefore, as often as possible, remember those successes that you can rightfully be proud of, or even better, write them down on a piece of paper and read it in the morning before starting your work day and at night before going to bed.

Don't beat yourself up for failures. If you make a mistake, analyze what happened, correct what you can and move on. There is no point in constantly remembering what happened. What has happened has passed. It is more important not to repeat your own mistakes and learn to avoid wrong decisions, but you shouldn’t be afraid to take responsibility either. There are no ideal people in the world.

Don't live in the past. Don't expect everything to change tomorrow. Live today, here and now. The future has not yet arrived, and the past has disappeared over the horizon. If you constantly dream or remember how good it was before, you will not notice how life has passed. Nothing is more demoralizing than putting off planned tasks until tomorrow.

Appreciate what you have. The greatest happiness of a person is always the ability to rejoice in what he has. This is not as easy as it might seem at first glance, but it is necessary for a full life. In addition, this will allow you not to make a mistake in choosing what else you would like to get from this life. After all, sometimes people chase what they don’t need at all.

Don't let anyone put you down. Neither loved ones, nor friends, nor relatives have the right to criticize your personal qualities. You can only criticize the actions of others when they directly affect someone else's interests. Therefore, you should not confuse the desire to help you with advice and rude interference in your life. Although usually advice should only be given to those who ask for it.

note

When communicating with officials, follow the laws, remember your own rights and their responsibilities. As soon as they try to put pressure on you, to declare that they know better what to do, do not get lost, but immediately remind them of your own rights, the rights of a citizen and a person. It is very important to stop their attempts to suppress you and force you to retreat in time. And for this, read the laws, because for a skillful conversation with civil servants this is mandatory.

Confidence is something that defines our entire life. Depending on the degree of confidence of a person, the circle of his acquaintances, friends, the areas of activity where he manifests himself, and many other characteristics are formed. But many of us are not yet fully confident in ourselves, so we have not yet been able to achieve everything that we would really like. This article is aimed at helping people suffering from insecurity syndrome overcome their illness.

1. Always think about yourself.

This does not mean that you should become selfish. This means that you should not think much about other people with whom you will talk, get acquainted, or meet. All conversations should be spontaneous. Therefore, you should not think too much about extraneous phenomena. Just do what you want and need to do, and the rest will come into your life on its own.

2. Never despair.

Mistakes happen to everyone. No one can boast of a perfectly clean reputation. But the fact that mistakes teach is indeed true. So don’t be afraid to try yourself in different roles and areas of activity.

3. Be interested in what is happening around you.

Don't isolate yourself. Attend events and meetings that interest you. And don’t think about what will happen there and how other participants will treat you. Enjoy the moments and don't care what others say.

4. Maintain communication with different people.

Never try to escape reality long time. Yes, it is a fact that sometimes each of us needs time to be alone with ourselves, but when this solitude drags on for weeks, months and even years, then you are dooming yourself to loneliness.

5. Keep a positive attitude.

Smile at passers-by, give compliments and don’t worry about how you will look or what you will say. Sincerity has always been in fashion, so keep positive energy and give it to others.

Many people ask the question: “What should I do to become confident?” Self-confidence allows you to feel happy and be successful in any field. There are many ways to become confident.

1. Smile all the time. Always find a reason to be happy. Good mood always allows you to win people over and look confident.

2. Learn to respect and love yourself. A confident person always respects himself and is proud of himself. Don't worry about your shortcomings. Please contact more attention on your merits.

3. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Understand that every person is unique and there is no reason to compare yourself to other people. A person who compares himself to other people will always experience feelings of envy and self-doubt.

4. Don't be swayed by other people's opinions. You should never take other people's opinions seriously. Confident people always have their own opinion and do not depend on the opinions of other people.

5. Don't criticize yourself, but praise yourself. Get rid of the habit of criticizing yourself. Start a new habit - constantly praising yourself. If you start praising yourself more often, you will feel more confident.

6. Always be calm. People very often make a tragedy out of a small problem. Don't worry too much about some small problem. Understand that any problems can be solved. Look at life more simply and you will feel confident.

7. Choose your environment. You need to have real friends who will support and help you. With real friends you will feel real self-confidence.

8. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. There is no need to be afraid of mistakes, you need to learn from them. Mistakes teach us valuable lessons. So try to make the most of mistakes.

Self-improvement is the path to inner harmony and self-confidence. Let's figure out exactly what actions give us this very confidence.

Collect information about yourself

To work on yourself, you need to understand very precisely what you are dealing with. The approach in the style of the most charming and attractive, of course, is good, but still it is precisely this that prevents us from seeing the shortcomings in ourselves, by correcting which we will become much better. Arm yourself with a pen and a piece of paper and sort your personality into the areas of life that are important to you. Maybe you don't know how to listen and because of this you don't have good relationships with people. Maybe you are very impulsive when shopping and therefore cannot get your financial affairs in order. Or maybe you just can’t decide to take life into your own hands and stop living with an eye on the opinions of others, who knows?

There would be a desire

Everything is possible, you just have to want it, including a total struggle with your shortcomings. Of course, the process is difficult and painstaking, requiring a certain amount of willpower, but if you sincerely decided that it’s time to change something, no one will force you to turn away from your chosen path of improving yourself. There will, of course, be moments of weakness, but they will not have a significant impact on the final result. If you sincerely want to become a better person, you will succeed.

Give the world kindness

Negative emotions towards ourselves, the people around us and the world can significantly damage our self-esteem, while a good attitude raises it to the skies. Be kinder to people, do kind deeds, even small ones. For example, donating 100 rubles to an animal shelter or paying for an old lady’s purchases in a supermarket is not such a big deal, but very, very important.

Make a “list of rules”

Each person should have his own set of principles. This will help you accept correct solution in a difficult situation, because such a moralistic sheet will serve as a kind of guiding map for your whole life. By placing personal principles and goals above people and circumstances, you will very soon gain not only self-confidence, but also respect from others.

Speak slowly

It just so happens that the calmer you speak, the better the interlocutor perceives the information conveyed to him. Very often, politicians and public figures use this feature of our brain to convey some idea or news to the masses. You can also learn to speak more slowly and calmly, and your communications with others will be much more successful.

Watch your posture

In fact, posture is everything. Once you roll your shoulders, straighten your back and lift your chin proudly, your whole appearance and attitude are completely transformed, and you look much more confident and attractive than before. Self-confidence depends primarily not on beauty, but on internal sensations.

Constantly improve your competence

Learn every day, every minute, every second. You can choose one area or “grab the best” from each interesting area, it’s not so important. The most important thing is not to stop in your development. The more positive things you do for yourself, the more you learn and the better you are, the more confident you are.

Say goodbye to bad habits

If stopping eating sweets or smoking instantly is too difficult for you, start with small steps. For example, get rid of the habit of putting off washing dishes until later. Stop staying up late in front of the TV. Get up every day 5-10 minutes earlier than the previous day. Such small steps will help you train your willpower and realize that in fact only you are the master of your life. This awareness gives a huge sense of confidence.

Play sports

Sport develops not only strength, but also spirit. Regular exercise will help you get to know yourself and your body, and understand “what kind of dough you are made of.” Also, attending training requires willpower and a certain level of discipline. Plus, they improve your overall appearance, which also boosts confidence.

A well-groomed appearance is the result of daily work on yourself. And here the girls are divided into two categories. The first one works on herself and her appearance, acquires good habits. The second category of girls envy them. Being stylish is not so difficult; all you need to know is to know a few secrets.

Get ready in the evening. Think over your look in the evening. This will allow you not to lose morning hours trying to pick up the right clothes. The main thing here is to find out the weather for the next day.

Choose your underwear carefully. This is exactly what creates your image. Properly selected underwear helps highlight your figure and improve your silhouette.

Choose clothes according to the weather. Stylish girls always dress according to the weather, this allows them to feel comfortable and confident.

Choose a style that suits you. Choose clothes that suit your lifestyle and body type.

Add some bright details. The right accessories can help transform your ordinary clothes into festive ones. This could be a scarf, an expensive bag, large earrings or a belt. However, remember that you cannot have too many accessories, otherwise you risk “overloading” the image.

Change your clothes at home. As soon as you get home, change your clothes. This way your going out outfits will be able to maintain a presentable appearance for a long time.

Prepare for Trouble. Always carry thread with a needle and adhesive tape with you. They will come in handy if you have to sew something up or if you get a callus.

Create your own style. Never wear things that don't suit you, even if they are trendy. It is better to choose what makes you attractive.

Shoes for the occasion. Always choose shoes according to your style and event. In some cases, shoes may look out of place; in others, ballet flats will look too simple.

Self-confidence is a quality of any person who wants to achieve success in all areas of his life. Anyone who is confident in himself is successful both in work and in personal life, and in hobbies. Confident people constant fear doesn’t slow me down: “What if it doesn’t work out?”, “What will they think of me?”

How to gain self-confidence? Below we will offer some tips that will tell you how to become more confident in yourself. But first, get ready to understand your character, study and analyze your characteristics. After all, self-doubt arises, among other things, due to the fact that a person does not realize or does not see his strengths.


What is important to know to become more confident in yourself

Most people feel self-doubt at certain moments. This is a completely normal reaction to an unfamiliar, unusual situation that you have never encountered before. People don’t want to take a step into the unknown; they try to think through and provide for everything, and that’s normal.

However, for some, this feeling becomes permanent, paralyzing activity. We need to work with this.

First of all, you need to turn on rational thinking. Timidity and constraint often have no basis, relying only on thoughts like “what if...”, “what will people say?..” Don’t think about what they will say about you. Use logic.

Decide on your primary values ​​and goals. A life guide will help you go your own way without being distracted by unnecessary fears. When a person sees the perspective of the most important thing, the rest recedes into the background. He doesn’t think “what if I don’t succeed?” - he does everything to make it work.

Study your life, think about what could lead to such a state. Consider several situations that are scary. What do they have in common? How do they cause disbelief in their abilities? Find the reason on which this self-doubt is based.

So, here are some opportunities to boost your self-confidence.


Self-confidence and self-improvement

Where does self-doubt come from and what does it mean? In most cases, a person either does not see his positive qualities or does not concentrate on them, concentrating on failures and shortcomings. But when he realizes that he has something to respect for, his self-confidence will increase.

Take a blank sheet of paper and write down your strengths. Feel free to write everything you can remember. Do you read English without a dictionary? Are you helping your neighbor carry a heavy bag? Are you a good cook? Do you arrive on time to any meetings? Write everything down, no matter how small it may seem. Then hang the sheet in a prominent place and look at it every morning. As soon as you find a new advantage, sign up with the others.

Do the same work with the shortcomings, just write them down on another sheet. And opposite each one, write down what you can do to eradicate it.

In addition, monitor your sense of self and record moments of indecision. Know when you are in good shape and can act decisively, and when you should not schedule important negotiations.


How to increase your self-confidence now

But what to do if self-doubt is an obstacle right now? Let's say you urgently need to make an important call, contact someone, and there is no time to work on yourself. To get yourself together and gain self-confidence in a short period of time, use these methods.

Raise your head and straighten your shoulders. Self-doubt manifests itself in physical level– and at the same level it can be adjusted. Squeeze your shoulder blades together as if you are squeezing something between them, lift your chin and straighten your back. If possible, do this in front of a mirror. You will see how your posture changes and what a confident person looks like.

Stand in front of the mirror and say: “I will do it. I can do anything. My confidence is enough to achieve my goal.” Repeat this several times until you feel like you believe what you are saying.

Breathe deeply. This calms and oxygenates the brain, helping it function. Confident people think rationally, without giving in to emotions, so use this opportunity to get your mind in order.

Try aromatherapy. Carry with you essential oil- for example, lavender, which calms and puts thoughts in order, or citrus fruits - they refresh and invigorate. Also, in order to bring yourself into a balanced state, rosemary, sandalwood, and sage oils are excellent. Or try different ones and choose an individual one, the smell of which evokes pleasant associations and helps you get in the right frame of mind.

Obvious, but effective method– watch a motivational video or listen to an upbeat, dynamic track. They can be found, for example, in sports communities - people communicate there who, by the nature of their activities, constantly overcome self-doubt.


How to become confident: long-term methods

What can you do to make self-confidence fundamental? A longer and more regular set of actions will be required. Here are some ideas.

Hang in your room a portrait of someone who is definitely not characterized by self-doubt. This could be an actor or TV presenter, a famous public figure, a character in a book, perhaps a friend, relative or colleague. The main thing is a worthy role model that you want to strive for. And remember: even those who seem extremely confident in themselves are characterized by doubts and moments of weakness. The task is not to avoid such moments completely, but to learn to cope with them.

Get a pet. It often helps to become big, strong, omnipotent and irreplaceable for someone. It is not necessary to start with a huge Rottweiler, which requires a special character from the owner - a small hamster or kitten is enough to start with. You will begin to watch your pet grow, and along with it, your self-confidence as an experienced and caring owner will begin to grow.

Keep a diary of your achievements. Every evening, write down three positive events that happened during the day. Have you decided to do something that you have been putting off for a long time? Have you completed an important stage of work? Record this every evening.

Those who use this method note the following advantages:

  • clearly shows personal progress;
  • motivates you to new feats - so that in the evening you have something to write down with a feeling of satisfaction;
  • disciplines. Knowing that in the evening you need to report to someone - even to your own diary - keeps you on your toes;
  • Regularly re-reading your achievements lifts your spirits and allows you to become self-confident.

Communicate often. With close friends, co-workers or neighbors - start a conversation, maintain communication. Speak first and answer not in monosyllables, but in detail. People who are insecure can find it difficult to both speak and respond. But the more willingly they overcome shyness, the easier it is for them to make new attempts.

Reward yourself. Did you successfully give a presentation at work or talk to your manager about a salary increase? Did you smile at someone you’ve liked for a long time? Have a conversation with an acquaintance whom you usually just say hello to? These are already huge achievements! They deserve to be celebrated. Buy yourself a small present or go to a cafe or cinema. You deserve it.

Learn and gain experience. We are not talking about advanced training courses now, although they are important. Learn from the people around you, adopt useful traits, draw conclusions from different life situations. Sometimes people make mistakes because they are faced with an unfamiliar situation and, out of surprise, are unable to react correctly. There is nothing wrong with this if you use such mistakes as experience for the future.

Do what you're afraid of. Jumping with a parachute if you are afraid of heights is too strong a remedy; such shock therapy is suitable for few people. But looking at the city from at least the sixth floor or taking a ride on the Ferris wheel is something that will help you become more self-confident. Gradually overcoming your fears strengthens both willpower and self-esteem.

Think about what you are afraid of and analyze: what exactly is frightening and overwhelming? Are you afraid of losing ground under your feet, afraid of the unknown, or maybe you are too worried about the opinions of others? Regularly put yourself in similar situations on the verge of the proverbial comfort zone. Think of it as a kind of simulator for self-confidence: at first it will seem difficult, but then it will grow and strengthen just like muscles in the gym.


Self-confidence training through positive thinking

Where does a complete pessimist get self-confidence? For someone who constantly expects a trick from life and sees the negative in everything? To feel confident in yourself, you need to know that most problems can be solved, and in most cases you can always come to an agreement with others.

Find the source of your strength. This could be a place, a hobby, a pastime that will become an outlet that allows you to escape from doubts and fears about the future. Any place where some strong and joyful event took place and where it is easy to return at any time, or at least a photograph of this place; an activity that turns out well and during which all troubles are forgotten - any outlet is good.

Don’t think badly about yourself, and especially don’t say it out loud. People around us read our self-perception and, as a result, begin to treat us accordingly. If you constantly tell them about your shortcomings and fears, they will strengthen the idea that they are communicating with an uptight and insecure person, and such a belief will be more difficult to break. And if you convince yourself of your own negative qualities, then self-doubt will only intensify. Don't give her a chance.

Limit communication with pessimists, “energy vampires” who talk exclusively about how bad everything is. Perhaps they also experience self-doubt, or maybe in this way they want to improve their own well-being. Doesn't matter. You need to develop your confidence, and not feed other people's complexes.

If you cannot avoid communicating with someone who constantly complains - you work together, live nearby - try to abstract yourself: put on headphones, or, if this is not allowed, imagine a protective barrier around you and imagine how complaints collide with it and break without causing harm . The main thing is not to let yourself be drawn into this stream of pessimism.

Seek friendly support from loved one. Family and friends see our positive traits and will be able to draw our attention to them, even if we do not notice our advantages or do not consider them significant.

And encourage your loved ones to believe in themselves. It is known that the more generously we give, the more we receive. Not to mention the fact that family members invariably expect and appreciate this.


How to be confident in yourself: various psychological tricks

Above we talked about rational methods that can be understood by reason. What do experts suggest? psychological techniques? There are several specific methods that nevertheless work.

Try to draw your fears. What color, shape, who or what do they look like? Look into their eyes, get to know them. They will become less scary

Create an anchor. Remember a situation in your life that is full of confidence and stability. Imagine yourself in this state, remembering every detail - those present, events, weather and lighting, sounds, smells... And then, when a solid picture is formed, make some strong, confident gesture that will be an anchor to this state: a clenched fist , any movement symbolizing success and victory, or a short and strong phrase - for example, “Just do it!”

Or better yet, a gesture and a phrase at the same time. Perform this ritual as soon as you need it and feed your anchor - add new energetic situations to the picture of success.

Create an image of your ideal self. When in doubt, imagine what this person would do. Would she really give up? You are not ideal, and you do not have to always act like this fictional character. But comparison with the standard will help you quickly realize that it is not objective reasons, but exclusively internal doubts.

Simulate the situation you are afraid of and bring it to the point of absurdity. You need to leave work early tomorrow and will have to ask your colleague to switch shifts. You are hesitant: you think that he will definitely refuse, and will also complain to the manager. Now imagine what will happen if you still ask him? What will he do?

The colleague will certainly be outraged to the core. He will bring a huge angry Rottweiler to work, who will fiercely protect his personal space. He will publish it in newspapers and show the story on television. He will report to the police and demand a squad special purpose... Imagine everything you can imagine until it becomes funny: of course, such terrible consequences will not happen; in the worst case, the colleague will simply refuse.

Change long-standing habits. Have you decided to become a different, confident person who approaches life differently? What else does this person do differently? Find one of your habits and change it. Of course, you should not change useful skills that have been developed for a long time - such as morning work-out. But try doing it with music, or in another place in the apartment, or not in the morning, but in the evening. Or go to a new place for lunch, change your usual route, switch to an unfamiliar style of music.


Self-confidence and personal progress: killing two birds with one stone

Find a foreign language learning partner. Increasingly, a method of improving oral speech is being practiced, such as communicating with a native speaker. There are special forums where you can meet someone from another country and communicate via Skype. You will not only improve your spoken English (or any other language), but also understand how to become self-confident.

It may seem difficult to start - your tongue gets stuck, the simplest phrases fly out of your head, and you look at the webcam stranger... But this person, firstly, expects this and is ready for such a turn, and secondly, he himself is in a similar position. Your language is also foreign to him, which means that the two of you will understand each other’s condition, despite the language barrier.

Play sports. It will strengthen not only muscles, but also willpower. Systematic overcoming weakness and constant transition to a higher level of development is the most correct remedy. You will observe progress in the mirror, in your well-being, and in the feedback of others. Swimming, jogging, powerlifting or table tennis - choose something familiar or try something new. Start under the guidance of a trainer, he will tell you how to avoid mistakes and which program will be optimal.

Start a blog. Write down everything that comes to mind: the events of the past day, your opinion about a book or movie, plans for the future. Post photos - a cat, a creative process, a landscape on the way to work. Don't worry about the number of followers or their reaction. You do it for your own purposes, and if someone else likes it, great, but if not, that's okay. Just live your life and leave a record of it.

After a few weeks or months, it will be pleasant to return to memories, to some episodes of your pastime. In addition, after some time progress will become noticeable. You will see that you begin to write better, express thoughts more clearly, and select materials more interesting. Look for articles on how to write well and do it like a pro.

Try your hand at creativity. There are many master classes on the Internet - drawing, needlework, modeling, engraving, choose any suitable one - and go! Few people succeed in their first attempt, but there will be a second and a third. And the feeling of a finished thing, done with my own hands, nothing compares. Feeling like a creator of something new is exactly what you need to develop self-confidence.

Don’t set goals to produce a masterpiece from the very first attempts - just enjoy the process and realize how something appears before your eyes that was not there before. And then, probably, these attempts will become a new successful hobby.

Do charity work. The world is full of places whose inhabitants are much less fortunate. Orphanages, nursing homes, foster homes for animals - help is always needed. You can provide financial support, you can contact volunteers and ask if they need help with work. You will make the world around you a better place, and this will definitely strengthen your self-confidence.


Self-doubt and its three indicators

How to recognize someone who is not too confident? General form“gray mouse” - this is understandable: a hunted expression on his face, clothes of gloomy tones... But also those who watch their appearance, often give out features that manifest themselves at the physical level:

  • handwriting;
  • gait;
  • manner of speech.

When wondering how to be confident, pay attention to your handwriting. Perhaps it is very small? Are the lines even or creeping down? Don’t be afraid to take up more space – even if only on a piece of paper.

Work on your speech style. It has been noticed that self-doubt manifests itself in the way a person speaks: too quickly - as if he is afraid that he might be interrupted and wants to speak out quickly - and not loudly enough so as not to attract unnecessary attention. Take an acting class or just read it out loud, record it, and listen to it.

Speech is an extremely important factor: express thoughts in such a way that the listener realizes that they have weight. Measurement, intonation, timbre of voice, clear diction - having achieved this, people usually become much more confident in themselves.

Watch your gait. Some insecure people walk too fast, as if they want to quickly pass through a dangerous space. Don't make a fuss. Carry your person with dignity. Look in front of you and to the sides, not at your shoes. And remember about posture.

Your body can become a tool for achieving confidence. Use it. Increase your speed: Do household chores or work tasks as quickly as you can (but not in a fussy manner). This will benefit your cause and help you stay on your toes. Avoid sluggish movements and procrastination – do it quickly and clearly and move on!


Self-doubt as a hindrance to business

Do you want to grow professionally, but are you afraid to show your work to the world? Stories or drawings, a portfolio of an IT specialist or a photographer - in any field, beginners, and sometimes even experienced professionals, do not know how to develop self-confidence. Its lack often turns out to be a serious obstacle to growth. Here are some tips on how to gain confidence in yourself as an employee.

Ask for criticism. Even if it turns out to be unpleasant, it is better than worrying about the unknown. You will know where to grow and what to pay attention to. And if the professionals give a positive feedback- all the better!

Many people can be intimidated by the idea of ​​being criticized. To prevent strangers from exacerbating your self-doubt, remember what kind of criticism you should pay attention to:

  • constructive – one that explains what exactly is wrong and what to pay attention to;
  • professional - from someone who really understands the subject;
  • expressed in a respectful manner. Worthwhile Tips given by those who once started and also went through self-doubt.

Find a mentor. Some professionals want to delegate some of their routine work to less experienced colleagues, while others are willing to give advice to newcomers. Communicate in thematic communities and forums - the more knowledge and life hacks, the higher your self-confidence!

Find someone you can teach yourself something. The advice is the opposite of the previous one, but it works. In any business, there are those who are better and those who are just starting. Perhaps someone else suffers even more from self-doubt. You can help him - just find each other!

Don't be afraid to ask for advice. Some people are afraid of looking stupid by asking others about things that they have long known and studied. But none of us are born experts in a particular field, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to learn new things.

If you are hesitant to ask a question on a completely unknown topic, first study the material on the Internet, read a couple of articles and understand the basic concepts, and then ask about what remains unclear. Professionals respect those who strive to develop and are willing to help if they see that the newcomer sincerely wants to develop.

Go to interviews. It’s not scary if you give yourself the attitude: I’m not here to get my life’s work, I’m here for other purposes. You will show your knowledge, practice business communication, prove yourself as a potential specialist, and maybe even find a new interesting position!

Develop yourself. Gain new knowledge and skills. Attend master classes, study video courses in your specialty and master related topics, subscribe to professional blogs. Draw a diagram - what you already know and what you have yet to learn - and add to it as you gain new knowledge. The surest way to banish self-doubt is to know that it is not justified. There will always be doubts, but let them not interfere, but push you to grow higher.

Study not only materials in your specialty. You will become a versatile specialist if you also have an understanding of related areas. In addition, even in “unrelated” topics you can find something that will help you look at your specialty from a different angle and draw analogies. Learn more about the world, and you yourself will understand that there is no reason or reason for uncertainty!


How to set goals correctly to become self-confident

Achieving any important goal will help you gain self-confidence. But how to put it correctly so that even stronger self-doubt does not arise? Often people go astray and remain dissatisfied with themselves because they decided to achieve the impossible or did not understand what, why and in what volumes they need.

Set deadlines. They must be intelligent - for example, it is impossible to learn foreign language from scratch to advanced level in two weeks or even two months. But learning all the irregular verbs during this time is more than realistic. When in doubt, seek the answer from professionals.

Set the task as specifically as possible. How do you know that the goal has been achieved? In the case of irregular verbs, everything is easy - their number is known. In this case, the goal will look like “learn 150 verbs, their translations and inflections in a month.” Everything is extremely clear and specific.

Make sure that the task is relevant and important, and also - an important factor - that it will not cause harm. Another good example– training programs planned by day, in which the number of repetitions of the exercise increases every day, and at the end of the period the participant achieves impressive results. You can take such a program as an achievement of a goal: it’s simple - everything is already thought out and planned. But before you take on such a program, you need to make sure that it will not harm your health.

Write a plan and start implementing it, and when you achieve it, feel free to write it down on your list. Knowing that you know how to achieve your goal and achieve success will definitely help you become more confident.


How to become a confident girl

The same methods apply for girls as for guys. But there are some ways that specifically help representatives of the fair half of humanity become self-confident.

Change the style. New hairstyle, a different color of lipstick or eye shadow, a brighter and more open dress - all this makes you feel different, relaxed and free.

You should be comfortable with your new look, so don't make drastic changes like cutting off your long hair, even if someone strongly suggests it. But don't be afraid to try! Spin in front of the mirror, try yourself in the guise of a popular actress or movie heroine, and then come up with something of your own. Your personality can sparkle with new colors - change more often, try new things, find your unique style.

Use bright colors. Cheerful orange will fill you with energy, green will tell you about your love of life, and every girl knows about the influence of red. You don't like any of them bright colors? Choose a more sophisticated one - turquoise, gold, coral. You don't have to throw away your favorite gray dress either, but liven it up with bright shoes, jewelry or a neckerchief.

Don't choose cheap accessories. Your handbag and shoes will make you more aware of their weight if they are made of genuine leather. You will feel freer when you pay from a beautiful, sophisticated wallet. And if finances don’t allow it, just don’t forget to make sure that your accessories always look impeccable, without stains or frayed edges. But still think about investing in becoming a confident girl. This will add success, and in the end it will be more economical for the budget.

Make friends with cosmetics and perfumes. Use them to highlight your features and smooth out imperfections. You don't have to do full makeup every morning, but light daytime makeup and a trail of good perfume are tools that eliminate unnecessary worries and help you be confident.

Do not compare yourself with stars - singers, actresses, other public ladies. Remember that behind the picture in glossy magazines is the work of dozens of people: stylists, makeup artists, PR managers... Photoshop masters, not least. Often beautiful Foto- the merit of both the model and the retouching master, and to the question “how to achieve this hair color, such smooth skin?” The correct answer is “using a photo editor.”

People often look for people they want to emulate, and if this helps them become better, that’s only a plus. But don’t despair if you can’t reach the level of famous people - remember how much is hidden behind the scenes.

Use the method from the old movie: repeat in front of the mirror: “I am charming, attractive, confident.” This mindset for success really works.

Don't pay too much attention to the opinions of others. Listen to those you consider to be authorities, who have achieved a lot, always show yourself as best as you can, but do not take every word said to heart, especially from strangers.

Sign up for a dance class. Oriental or Irish, exquisite waltz or fiery salsa - all without exception will improve your posture and figure, provide new skills and interesting acquaintances. Some dances - for example, tribal or flamenco - initially carry the philosophy of female independence and freedom, and in addition, for them you do not need to look for a partner.

But consider also the options for partner dancing - don’t be afraid to seem awkward in front of an experienced dancer: these people, in most cases, are happy to help beginners join their favorite world. You will forget about self-doubt!

Book a photo session with a good photographer. Look through several portfolios, find someone whose style you consider thoughtful and high-quality. Chat with him before taking photos - some photographers prefer to work with experienced and relaxed models, but many know how and love to reveal different characters in their works. You will see yourself in photographs through the eyes of a person with good artistic taste and will understand that you can look interesting and attractive.

Smile more. This is the simplest answer to the question of how to become self-confident, the fastest - and one of the most effective. Show openness and interest to others, and it will definitely come back. Be who you want to see yourself.


How to become a confident communicator

Have a topic of conversation ready. Avoid politics, religion and gossip about mutual friends - there are many other topics besides these. This could be a book read the day before, a TV show watched, a funny incident from life, or new technology. Your hobby can become an extensive topic of conversation - of course, if the interlocutor is also interested in it.

Listen to others, not yourself. When a person is focused on not saying the wrong thing, he doesn't follow the thread of the conversation and can't open up fully. Instead, focus on what the other person is saying. You will gain a reputation as an attentive, grateful listener and will not focus on how not to make a mistake, wasting extra energy on it.

Ask open-ended questions – those that require a detailed answer and cannot be answered with “yes” or “no.” The interlocutor will say more, and you can ask about details or remember something of your own. Show interest in his story and enjoy the conversation.

Be sincere. Those who are confident in themselves are confident in their thoughts and express them boldly. Such people are not afraid of misunderstanding and criticism, because they firmly stand their ground, and also because in the case of justified and constructive criticism, they do not lose anything. And at the same time, don’t let anyone confuse you. You have already decided on your goals and priorities.

Have your principles that you will never give up, and be flexible in what is not essential. Confident people are not afraid to show themselves, so their words do not disagree with their thoughts and life position.


What you need to know to be confident

Doubts are normal. It is impossible to calculate absolutely all the consequences of your actions. Even in ordinary affairs, not to mention new and ambitious ones, surprises happen, and therefore all doubts before starting a new business, meeting or conversation are justified and natural. The goal is not to not experience anxiety, but to do your job despite them. Moreover, most of them are far-fetched and not connected with reality.

The state of confidence is not always stable - it can depend on the environment, health, weather and even time of day. In the morning we are toned and full of energy, but in the evening we have less strength left. Confidence may also decrease due to a quarrel in the family or troubles at work. But this does not mean that you should follow the lead external factors. Self-confidence means being able to overcome your worries and move forward.

People are self-obsessed. They think first of all about their own affairs and problems. They don't track your failures. Those who have ever given a toast at a holiday will confirm this: having risen from their seats and looking around those present, you can notice that half of them do not even look in the direction of the one who is so worried.

Someone adds wine, someone chooses a tastier piece, and someone put a stain on their shirt and is busy only with it. Life goes on as usual, despite all our worries. It would be a shame to worry about those who don’t even realize it.

Nobody is perfect. You can't always do exactly the right thing. And those around them too, so they do not have the moral right to evaluate and condemn anyone. You are not reduced to the sum of your mistakes and failures. And when any troubles occur, they do not erase our previous achievements. Just as they do not give other people the right to put themselves above the one who made a mistake, because tomorrow they too may find themselves in his place.

This doesn't mean you shouldn't strive for better. Be as good as you can so that in any case you can say: “I did my best.”


What not to do to be confident

And finally – some “bad advice”. Let's start from the opposite: what is important to avoid in order to become self-confident?

Increase confidence with alcohol. Yes, “drinking for courage” is a common solution to the problem. But we all know what consequences this leads to. And then, this is not a solution to the problem, but just doping, or crutches. True confidence is developed from within, from the strength of the spirit, and does not come with chemicals.

Envy. Someone is luckier, and this person has more reasons to feel more confident. But you don't need to compare yourself to him. You don’t know the whole picture - maybe this person is hiding completely different problems. And then, thoughts like “of course, he feels good, he has…” will not give anything, but will only absorb energy. You've probably heard it: it only makes sense to compare yourself to yourself.

True faith in one's own strength comes when the need to follow other people's successes recedes.

Gain confidence at the expense of others. Some people watch other people’s failures in order to gloatingly say “that’s the same, but I wouldn’t allow that!” But this is not the path that will lead to success. It only fuels self-doubt. Why? Because those who watch others too much have neither the energy nor the desire to improve themselves. It seems to them that they are already good against someone else’s background. Of course, this way of thinking has nothing to do with true self-confidence. Don't confuse self-confidence and self-confidence.

Trying to appear better than you really are. All attempts at boasting and inflated self-esteem are very noticeable and, as a rule, do not add positive characteristics. You can always distinguish someone who tries and really strives for the best from someone who puts on a gloss.

Look for those to blame. An authoritarian mother, a demanding father, an unbalanced first teacher - people who lack self-confidence can name many reasons why it is difficult for them to show themselves. But all these reasons are in the past. Adults build their present and future with their own hands.

Those who are confident in themselves do not shift responsibility for their lives to someone else - they themselves can take responsibility for those who are weaker. Your parents didn't teach you how to make decisions? Learn for yourself. Don't know where to start? Try to start by becoming the master of your destiny. You can not only strengthen your spirit, but also become an example for someone.

Afraid of making mistakes. Did something go wrong? It will work out another time. Have you been criticized? You, as an adult and confident person, will take this into account and do better. As you know, only those who do nothing make no mistakes. You do it: you grow above yourself, even if it seems that this is not so.

Go into an imaginary world. Above we gave advice - imagine an ideal self, someone who always succeeds, who is confident in himself and always acts correctly. Some people have a personality that allows them to fantasize, and pictures from an ideal world can significantly displace reality. Always remember that real life is here and now, even if it is not as good as we would like. If you catch yourself daydreaming colorfully, tell yourself: “in an ideal world it would be like this” - and live in the present.

Be overly critical. Don't forget to relax and praise yourself even for those achievements that you consider small. And if you haven’t fully demonstrated yourself the way you thought it was necessary, well, then you try, you fight, and tomorrow a new day will come and bring a new chance to improve everything. You are already doing a lot when you walk this difficult path of strengthening your self-confidence. The main thing is don’t go out of your way and don’t give up!

Every person has felt insecure at least once in their life. It is how confident we are that determines how we behave and how we perceive things and events around us. Unfortunately, not all people have this feeling innate, and for some, uncertainty becomes a serious obstacle. Here are some tips on how to become more confident.

1) Look directly into the eyes of those who look at you

Stop turning your head away or lowering your eyes every time someone looks at you! Don't be afraid to look people in the eye because exchanging glances is The best way establish contact with a person.

2) Stand up for your ideas

Dare to speak your ideas out loud and also to defend them. Don’t be afraid of disapproving glances and don’t let other people’s opinions cause you doubts and fears. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean your ideas are bad, it could be just the opposite! Well, if this is not so, then who doesn’t make mistakes? At least you will learn to protect yourself!

3) Don't focus on failures!

You need to learn to accept your failures. To do this, you should understand that when you start something, there is always such a risk. This is fine! "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." And failure is a way to learn something. You need to analyze where you made a mistake and decide how you will act next time so as not to repeat it. Don't focus on only negative things: life is not all white or all black. Think about what good you learned from this situation.

4) Don't avoid contact

To protect themselves from suffering or disapproving glances, some people avoid contact for fear of not being too brilliant and saying something stupid. This big mistake! By shutting yourself off from others, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to find a person who will listen to you with pleasure, appreciate and love you. Plus, if you rarely interact with others, you are more likely to say something that will be perceived as stupid. But this matter can be fixed: just communicate and by the time you meet someone who is really very important to you, you will already have something to say!

5) Practice speaking in public

When you begin to trust yourself, you discover that you are capable of doing things that you never dared to do before. At first it may be expressing your opinion in small company people, then speaking in public. Practicing speaking in front of a crowd will help you gain confidence; once you've done it once, it will be much easier in the future.

6) Do something new

Doing something new is an important step in gaining self-confidence. This will help you take your mind off your worries and gain confidence in your abilities. Plus, if you're feeling nervous, some relaxation techniques can help you calm down. Sports is another one good remedy relax and keep fit.

7) Learn to be an optimist!

Optimists perceive positive event, as your achievement, and not as luck. This means that every success increases their self-confidence. And on the contrary, having failed, they think that it is just a coincidence of unfavorable circumstances. By thinking like optimists, you will become more confident.

8) Change your perspective!

If something doesn't happen the way you wanted, it's not the end of the world! Try to find circumstances that mitigate your guilt: it is not necessary to tell yourself that everything is your fault, because there are circumstances that cannot be controlled. Instead of regretting what was lost, think about what successes can await you in the future. Remember that failures are just as necessary in our lives as successes.

9) Ask yourself the right questions!

To be successful, you need to be able to ask yourself the right questions. This does not mean that you need to bombard yourself with reproaches! Try to think rationally and constructively about what you can improve about yourself. This is a good way to achieve your goal and understand the reason for failure. It is useless to reproach and belittle yourself - it will not bring you any benefit. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and let your brain find the real solution to the problem!

10) Have you thought about a professional psychologist?

If, despite all the above tips, you are unable to improve your self-confidence, you may want to consider seeking help from a professional. There is nothing reprehensible in contacting a psychologist. This will help you understand what is the cause of your lack of self-confidence. Also this excellent remedy to finally feel great.