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Man is a social being and cannot live outside of society. Life in society involves interaction between its members, which is called communication.

Communication as a process of interaction between two or more people has a lot of manifestations depending on how and under what circumstances it takes place. So, they distinguish speech And non-verbal communication . Speech is the most important social property of a person. Often in a short phrase we can express what cannot be shown with facial expressions and gestures. However, non-verbal communication is just as important as verbal communication. Road signs, signs, signs, fencing tapes - all this carries certain information. Forms of non-verbal communication also include such methods of transmitting information as semaphore, Morse code, and flag signaling. At the junction of speech and non-speech communication is the transmission of written information.

Depending on the methods of interaction, perceptual, verbal and interactive communication are distinguished. Perceptual communication is associated with a person’s ability to grasp the mental state of the interlocutor and feel it. Such communication is more often possible between close people - parents and children, lovers, spouses, elderly good friends. They say about such people: “they understand each other perfectly.” Verbal communication - This is communication using words, i.e. speech communication. Its varieties include monologue (transmission of information from the speaker to listeners), exchange of remarks (verbal clarification of the actions performed) and dialogue (conversation between two or more persons).

Dialogue - the most common form of verbal communication. It presupposes the independence and activity of its participants, recognition of the importance of the point of view of each of the parties participating in the dialogue. Dialogue involves an exchange of opinions, waiting for an answer, and a willingness to explain one’s position. Discussions, conferences, and negotiations take place in the form of dialogue. Dialogue is the main way of transmitting information between people and in everyday life.

Interactive communication occurs when people interact in the process joint activities: at work, study, while spending leisure time together, etc. In the process of interactive communication, people adapt to each other, sympathy and mutual understanding arise between them. There is a place for healthy competition here; it is possible that the occurrence and conflict situations. Work in work collective, games with friends, firefighters extinguishing a fire together with residents of neighboring houses - all these are types of interactive communication.

In connection with the development of means of information transmission, the diversity of communication is increasing. IN special kind it is already possible to highlight communication via the Internet, telephone communication, SMS - communication. This raised with particular urgency the question of relationship of communication And communications. Both of these phenomena involve the exchange of information, the content of which may be the same. The difference is as follows. When communicating, as we know, subjects have equal rights and are active; the exchange of information leads to its addition, change, and clarification. Thus, new information is formed, the owners of which become all participants in the communication. Communication involves the transfer of information from one subject to another without feedback. Only the recipient receives new information. Therefore, it is not updated or clarified. Examples of communication media are radio and television.

Communication fulfills several important functions depending on the purpose of human interaction. Firstly, information function . Communication serves as a means of transmitting information. Secondly, teaching function . By receiving new information, people enrich their knowledge. Third, educational function. When communicating, one person can influence another in order to instill in him certain patterns of behavior. Finally, communication fulfills function of maintaining joint activities of people and inclusion of a person in society as an equal member.

Depending on the content and the sphere in which it is carried out, there are several forms of communication: everyday, business, persuasive, educational, cultural, scientific, intercultural, ritual, etc.

Everyday (everyday) communication - This is communication between close people (relatives, friends, acquaintances) in everyday life.

Business (official) communication carried out at work, in the process labor activity. It is in the nature of orders, instructions, directions and is aimed at achieving positive results of work activity. Within the framework of business communication, the manager acts as an active subject who influences the subordinate. The latter must follow instructions, but he has the right to express his point of view on the task (problem, situation), especially if this can help improve the quality of work.

Persuasive Communication manifests itself in the influence of one person on another in order to change his views and behavior. Thus, parents can convince their child to devote more time to study, a candidate for deputy encourages them to vote for him in elections, fire service authorities recommend that the population handle fire carefully. In such communication, the persuading subject presents arguments that help persuade the person being persuaded towards his point of view. These could be profitable prospects, the threat of punishment, etc.

Educational communication - This is the influence of the teacher on the student in order to instill in him a certain set of knowledge, skills and abilities. It is carried out within the framework educational institutions, and in the process of mastering the knowledge necessary in everyday life.

Cultural communication associated with the interaction of people in the process of familiarization with cultural values. This could be visiting exhibitions, excursions, theaters, cinema, joint creative activities within the framework of musical, artistic and other groups, membership in various clubs, organizations, etc.

Scientific communication with supports research activities. Science does not stand still. In order not to “reinvent the wheel,” a scientist must monitor the results of the work of his colleagues. Scientific communication occurs both at the interpersonal level and at various scientific conferences, debates, and symposia.

Intercultural communication carried out between people sharing different cultural values. This could be the interaction of representatives of different trends in music, art, literature, communication between “fathers” and “children” or representatives of different nationalities. Such communication can proceed on the basis of cooperation and cultural mutual enrichment, or it can create conflict situations.

Ritual communication - This is the fulfillment of predetermined rules of behavior. It occurs constantly in everyday life. Acquaintances greet each other when they meet, shake hands, and the military salutes. The students stand up to greet the teacher as he enters the classroom. Ritual communication plays a leading role when performing religious rites, observing national and other customs, such as the marriage procedure, accepting an invitation and visiting, visiting public places, etc.

One of the types of ritual communication is etiquette, which means custom in Greek. Etiquette is a set of rules of behavior relating to the external manifestation of relationships towards others. This includes behavior in in public places, forms of address, greetings, manners, required clothing, etc.

The most common rule in our life is greeting. It should never be noisy or unrestrained. The junior should be the first to greet the senior, and the subordinate should be the first to greet the boss. Anyone entering the room should also greet those present first. When greeting a person, you need to look into his eyes kindly. You cannot extend your hand across the table when greeting. Refusing to accept an extended hand to shake hands is considered an insult.

There are rules for dating. A junior should be introduced to a senior, a man to a woman, an employee to the manager. An individual is introduced to the group.

You must arrive on time for your appointment. If you are late, you should apologize and explain the reasons for the delay.

Behavior at a party also provides for a number of rules. If you are invited to visit and you accept the invitation, it would be impolite not to come, and it would be indecent to be more than ten minutes late. When accepting an invitation, it is not good to ask about the composition of the guests. The owner himself can say so if he considers it necessary. At the same time, he must do this if he knows about hostile relations between the invitees. If you meet a person at a party whom you would least like to see, you should nevertheless say hello to him.

There are also rules for everyday life that must be followed. They relate to behavior with children and the elderly, and a man’s attention to the woman he is accompanying. choosing a topic for conversation in society, etc.

The ability to behave correctly in relationships with other people is called communication culture . Regardless of the sphere of communication and the environment in which it is carried out, the culture of communication always presupposes politeness, punctuality, modesty, tact, respect for others, the ability to listen to the interlocutor and understand him. A person who adheres to all these rules can rightfully be called cultured.

Questions and tasks

1. What is communication? What types of communication do you know?

2. Give examples of verbal and non-verbal communication.

3. Describe the types of communication depending on the ways people interact. Give examples.

4. What types of communication do you most often resort to?

5. What is the difference between communication and communication?

6. What functions does communication perform?

7. What forms of communication do you know? Describe them.

8. What role does etiquette play in relationships between people? Name the rules of etiquette that you know. Which ones do you do most often?

9. What is a culture of communication? What kind of person can be called cultured?

10. Based on the words of B. Shaw, determine the meaning of communication: “If you have an apple and I have an apple, and if we exchange these apples, then both you and I will have one apple each. And if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.”

4 Conditions and methods effective communication

The main parameters of effective communication are a person’s skills and abilities in using two communication techniques: the technique of understanding communication and the technique of directive communication.

The technique of understanding communication is a set of attitudes of the subject of communication, rules and specific methods of response aimed at understanding the partner and his problems, establishing psychological contact, studying his personal characteristics, finding out his point of view on the problem under discussion, etc.

The essential conditions for creating such a climate of trust are the following attitudes of the subject of communication towards interaction with a partner:

Setting up an understanding response means our conscious desire to respond to our partner’s statements and emotional states without judgment, trying to understand them with his own eyes.

Rules for understanding response. In order to more effectively understand your partner and develop psychological contact with him, it is advisable to adhere to a number of rules in communication:

listen more, speak less yourself, “follow” your partner’s statements and emotions;

refrain from your assessments, ask fewer questions, do not “push” your partner to discuss those issues that he “should” talk about from your point of view;

strive to respond to personally significant information that is most closely related to the needs and interests of your partner;

strive to respond to the feelings and emotional states of the interlocutor.

Let us list the methods of understanding response:

simple phrases confirming the existence of contact (expression of attention and interest);

paraphrasing statements and openly expressed feelings of a partner (expressing attention and checking the correctness of understanding);

finding out the thoughts and feelings of the interlocutor that are not expressed openly (reacting to what, in your opinion, is in your partner’s omniscience);

probing the incompletely conscious emotional states of the interlocutor (“pulling” reasons into the partner’s field of consciousness emotional states);

silence as a response technique (conscious use of silence during a conversation);

nonverbal reactions (conscious use of “body language” in communication);

interpretation (an option for probing a partner’s not fully conscious experiences);

summarizing (a variant of extended paraphrasing of a logically completed fragment of a conversation);

encouragement and reassurance (a way confirmation that what you want to understand and accept without evaluating the thoughts and feelings of your interlocutor);

questions that clarify the position of the interlocutor (non-evaluative questions that are your reaction to what was said and expressed by the interlocutor in the conversation).

The attitude of acceptance of a partner’s personality is our readiness to strive to show him, of course, positive respect, regardless of his strengths and weaknesses.

Focusing on the consistency of your behavior in terms of content means, in a certain sense, the truthfulness and openness of your behavior in communication with your partner. Coherence of behavior is achieved when what we openly express to our interlocutor in words and gestures is consistent with our inner feelings and experiences at the time of the conversation, and when we are aware of our internal emotional states.

The technique of directive communication is a set of attitudes of the subject of communication, rules and specific response techniques aimed at exerting a direct psychological influence on the partner in order to achieve their goals.

The technique of directive communication is precisely aimed at overcoming defensive-aggressive skills and habits and achieving one’s goals in interaction with people with greater efficiency and with less psychological and other costs.

The directive approach is based on the following guidelines and rules:

to openly, directly and clearly express their positions, intentions and goals;

to open, active behavior and actions to achieve their goals;

to direct and open refusal to perform actions that will not serve your interests;

to effectively and decisively defend oneself against aggressive behavior partner;

to achieve their goals, taking into account the interests and goals of the partner.

Methods of directive response:

directive questions (orienting your partner to a problem that you consider appropriate to discuss in accordance with your goals);

open clarification of contradictions in the partner’s position (the partner’s orientation towards awareness of contradictions in reasoning and arguments);

expressing doubt about the interlocutor’s statements;

expression of agreement or disagreement (approval, disapproval);

belief;

coercion (a hidden or direct threat to your partner if he refuses to act in accordance with your intentions).

In a certain sense, the technique of understanding is a technique of providing indirect (not direct) psychological influence or a technique of “ active listening" Directive technique is a technique of exerting psychological influence on a partner.

Within the framework of the communicative aspect of communication, the psychological interaction of partners is concentrated around the problem of contact. The main thing in the success of contacts lies in the partners’ perception of each other.

Psychological contact begins with concrete sensory perception appearance partners through the senses. At this moment, mental relationships dominate, permeated with an emotional reaction to each other as a psychophysical given.

Acceptance-rejection reactions are manifested in facial expressions, gestures, posture, gaze, intonation, which indicate whether we like each other or not.

At the stage of contact, a significant role is played by a person’s external attractiveness, thanks to which he acquires a special, higher communicative potential. Therefore, people, as a rule, are jealous of their appearance and pay a lot of attention to it. During communication, its participants experience various states, each exhibiting certain mental properties of the individual. What kind of communication is considered psychologically optimal? In our opinion, communication is psychologically optimal if the goals of the participants in communication are realized in accordance with the motives that determine these goals, and using methods that do not cause feelings of dissatisfaction among partners.

At the same time, it would be a mistake to believe that psychologically optimal communication is necessarily a kind of fusion of the minds, feelings, and will of its participants. Communication in which partners manage to maintain the subjective distance desired for each of them can also be psychologically optimal.

Since communication is the interaction of at least two people, difficulties in its flow (meaning subjective) can be generated by one participant or both at once. And their consequence is usually complete or partial failure to achieve the goal, dissatisfaction of the driving motive, or failure to obtain the desired result in the activity that communication served.

Psychological reasons for this may be: unrealistic goals, inadequate assessment of the partner, his abilities and interests, misrepresentation of one’s own capabilities and misunderstanding of the nature of the partner’s assessment and attitude, the use of methods of dealing with the partner that are inappropriate for the given case.

Principles of effective communication:

1. Empathy.

This is the ability to see the world through the eyes of other people, to understand it the same way as they do. Perceive the world from their perspective. This is the ability to “get into the shoes” of another person, to feel empathy for his problems, instead of the pressure of his vision and his ego.

2. Goodwill.

This is the ability not only to feel goodwill towards people, but also to show with your whole being this benevolent attitude towards them. This includes respect for a person and sympathy, and the ability to accept him even when you do not approve of his actions. To do this, you need to learn to separate a person and his actions. It is a willingness to support other people.

3. Authenticity.

This is the ability to be natural in a relationship. Don't hide behind the masks or roles we play in life. We and roles are not the same thing. Each person has many of them: mother, daughter, wife, professional, leader, student, etc. This is the ability to be yourself in any contact with others.

4. Specificity.

This is the ability to refuse during communication from general reasoning and remarks, often meaningful and incomprehensible. This is the ability to speak specifically about your experiences, opinions, feelings, and actions.

5. Initiative.

This is a tendency to take an active position in relationships with people. It is the ability to move forward in a relationship and not just react to what others are doing. This is the ability to establish healthy contacts without waiting for initiative from others. This is the willingness to take on something in a situation that requires active intervention, and not just wait for others to start doing something.

6. Spontaneity.

This is the ability to speak and act directly. This is an open demonstration of your attitude towards problems and people.

7. Openness and sincerity.

This is the willingness to open your inner world to others, that is, to let a person inside yourself. This can only be done when we are committed to establishing strong relationships, and understanding that openness facilitates this.

8. The ability to accept other people's feelings.

This is a very important quality, the absence of which often destroys relationships in the bud. This is the absence of fear in direct contact with your feelings and the feelings of other people. This is the ability to accept any person’s feelings - pain, despair, joy, indignation, etc.

9. Self-knowledge.

This is an exploratory attitude towards your life and behavior. The desire to take advantage of the help of others for this and the willingness to accept this help through communication, among other things.

10. Responsibility.

This is the ability to communicate with other people with full responsibility for what is happening. The main postulate here is: we perceive people’s attitude towards us - positive or negative, but we ourselves are the directors of our lives and self-esteem.

Difficulty in communication – This is a mental state that distorts or completely blocks a person’s behavior and actions when he finds himself the center of attention in an unusual environment. Complexity in communication is what prevents you from behaving naturally and at ease, from feeling inner freedom and being relaxed in communication, and prevents you from living and developing normally.

If you do not get rid of the complexities in communication, then this may hinder the implementation of your best qualities, interfere with your development professionally and creatively, and over time you will turn into an inconspicuous, gray, twitchy little man. And instead of the joy of a full life, your lot will be depression and oppression. You will speak poorly because you are shy and have a complex. And because you speak poorly, you will create even more complexes. You will not be able to defend your opinion, hence the constant grievances and internal conflicts. Spiritual life is greatly impoverished. You will become withdrawn, touchy, vulnerable, and avoid companies. This is what awaits you if you don’t get rid of your communication complexes in time.

The effectiveness of communication depends on many socio-psychological factors accompanying the process of transmission and perception of information. These factors are the subject of research in domestic and foreign social psychology. For example, the features social roles participants in communication, prestige of communicators, social attitudes of the recipient of information, features of the course of his mental processes. There is experimental data indicating that the age and professional characteristics of communication participants significantly influence the processes of transmission and perception of information.

Therefore, we can conclude that the main parameters of effective communication are the ability to apply rules and response techniques aimed at understanding a partner, establishing psychological contact, and studying his personal characteristics. In order to more effectively understand your partner and develop psychological contact with him, you must be able to listen to your interlocutor, express attention and interest in your interlocutor. Communication must be open and sincere. An obstacle to effective communication is complex communication. It distorts or completely blocks a person’s behavior and actions when he finds himself the center of attention in an unusual environment. If you don’t get rid of your communication complexes, it can hold back the realization of your best qualities and prevent you from developing professionally and creatively.

4.1 Features of effective student communication

The student period is characterized by special sociability, creativity, development of mental abilities, broadening of horizons, psychological resistance to external and internal factors. During this period, students often communicate with their fellow students, with senior and junior students.

Students interact with their fellow students very closely: they sit in the same classroom during lectures, some live in the same building (dormitory), and participate in social events.

In the process of education, a person assimilates patterns of behavior of society and social groups or correlates his behavior with their norms and values. One of the closest social environments through which society influences an individual in the field of education is the study group, which also represents a special form of student life. Such features of the student group as a personality-forming environment arouse interest in the student group from various sciences.

Joint activities and communication take place under conditions of social control, exercised on the basis of social norms and patterns of behavior accepted in society that carry out the interaction and relationships of people. Society develops, as social norms, a specific system of behavior patterns that it accepts, approves, cultivates and expects from everyone in the relevant situation. Violation of these norms leads to disagreements and conflicts.

So, a necessary condition for the success of the communication process is that the behavior of interacting people matches each other’s expectations.

Based on a large statistical material and the results of their own psychological experiments, scientists studied human behavior in a social group and made attempts to identify and scientifically substantiate various forms and methods of managing social groups in production. They examined the reasons and ways to increase the efficiency of interaction among group members, the stages of formation of group interaction, and also used various methods for studying group processes.

The research of O. Moede and F. Allport aroused considerable interest throughout the world. They laid the foundation for research to identify the influence that primary groups have on their members in the process of performing certain activities. At the same time, cases of both positive and negative attitudes of the individual towards the group attracted interest. It turned out that the overall effect of the groups’ activities is directly dependent on whether they acted “side by side” or “together” when performing certain tasks. It was even found that the presence of observers from among the group's authority figures created an atmosphere that led to increased productivity.

Studies of interpersonal interaction and practical observations allow all possible methods of reaction of people in interpersonal contact to be combined into two groups according to the parameter of effectiveness - ineffectiveness.

The main parameters of interaction effectiveness are a person’s ability and skills in using two communication techniques: the technique of understanding communication and the technique of directive communication.

The parameters of the ineffectiveness of practical communication are a person’s inclinations and habits to use the so-called belittling-compliant and defensive-aggressive forms of behavior, as inadequate substitutes for understanding and directive communication.

Any contact usually begins with a concrete sensory perception of the external appearance, characteristics of the activities and behavior of other people. At this moment, as a rule, the emotional and behavioral reactions of individuals to each other dominate. Relationships of acceptance and rejection are manifested in facial expressions, gestures, posture, gaze, intonation, and the desire to end or continue communication. They indicate whether people like each other. If not, then mutual or unilateral reactions of rejection or termination of established contact follow. And vice versa, people turn to those who smile, look directly and openly, turn full face, respond with a cheerful and cheerful intonation, to those who are trustworthy and with whom further cooperation can be developed based on joint efforts.

All these group processes have a strong influence on the student’s personality and on his success. educational activities and professional development, on his behavior.

What do we mean by the word “effective communication”? Effective communication is more than just conveying information.

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EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Considering the process of human cognition of a person in communication, one of the founders of Soviet psychology, S.L. Rubinstein wrote: “In everyday life, when communicating with people, we navigate their behavior, since we seem to “read” it, that is, we decipher the meaning of its external data and reveal the meaning of the resulting text in a context that has its own internal psychological plan. This “reading” occurs fluently, since in the process of communicating with those around us, a certain research is developed, a more or less automatically functioning subtext to their behavior.”

Effective communication is the only thing that can be truly important for all people living in a society. Not thinking about effective communication while you are communicating is like crossing the road in a busy place without looking both ways.

Effective Communication:

1. promotes mutual understanding;
2. directs the flow of information in the right direction;
3. helps people overcome barriers to open discussion;
4. encourages interlocutors to take actions to achieve their goals;
5. communicates information, encouraging employees to think differently and act more effectively.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Communication plays a huge role in the life of society. Without it, the process of education, formation, personality development, interpersonal contacts, as well as management, service, scientific work and other activities in all areas where the transmission, assimilation and exchange of information are necessary.

Communication plays important role in a person’s mastery of cultural and universal values, social experience. In the process of communication, this specific form of human interaction with other people, there is a mutual exchange of ideas, ideas, interests, moods, attitudes, etc.

Increasing the importance of communication in modern world requires communication skills. This means that communication needs to be taught, communication needs to be learned, which presupposes the need for deep knowledge of this phenomenon, its patterns and characteristics that manifest themselves in people’s activities.

It is proposed to base the theory of speech culture as a special linguistic discipline on the following definition of this discipline. Speech culture is such a set and such an organization of linguistic means that, in a certain communication situation, while observing modern language norms and communication ethics, make it possible to ensure greatest effect in achieving the set communication goals.

The effectiveness of communication is the “final product”, the creation of which should be facilitated by the theory of speech culture in its practical application. By effective communication we mean the best way achieving the set communication goals. The communicative goals of communication are closely related to the basic functions of language.

Effective communication technologies are those methods, techniques and means of communication that fully ensure mutual understanding and mutual empathy (empathy is the ability to put oneself in the place of another person (or object), the ability to empathize) of communication partners.

Communication itself, as a complex socio-psychological process, is characterized by three main content aspects: communicative, interactive and perceptual. Each of them has relative independence and provides certain goals for the subjects of communication:

1. the communicative aspect reflects the desire of communication partners to exchange information;
2. the interactive aspect is manifested in the need for them to comply with established norms of communication, as well as in their desire to actively influence each other in a certain direction;
3. The perceptual aspect expresses the need of the subjects of communication for mutual empathy, sympathy, and compassion.

A special place in the content of technologies for effective communication in conflict is occupied by the goals of the conflict participants. First of all, this is due to a significant contradiction in the very process of such communication. On the one hand, rivals especially need to understand each other correctly. On the other hand, such mutual understanding is hampered by the lack of proper trust between them, their “closedness” towards each other, due to conscious or unconscious self-defense in a conflict. Therefore, to ensure constructive communication in a conflict, it is desirable (if possible) to create an atmosphere of mutual trust in this process and to form a goal for cooperation.

The main content of effective communication technologies ultimately comes down to compliance with certain rules and norms of communication.

Basic rules for effective communication:

1. Concentrate on the speaker and his message.
2. Check whether you correctly understood both the general content of the received information and its details.
3. Tell the other party in paraphrased form the meaning of the information received.
4. While receiving information, do not interrupt the speaker, do not give advice, do not criticize, do not summarize, and do not be distracted by preparing an answer. This can be done after receiving information and clarifying it.
5. Make sure you are heard and understood. Follow the sequence of information delivery. Without making sure that the information received by your partner is accurate, do not proceed to new messages.
6. Maintain an atmosphere of trust, mutual respect, and show empathy for your interlocutor.
7. Use nonverbal means of communication: frequent eye contact; nodding the head as a sign of understanding and other techniques conducive to constructive dialogue.
8. To communicate effectively, you need to know some techniques, because... many of them operate at the subconscious level.

A few tips for effective communication:

- "Rule of three twenty":

1. 20 sec. you are being evaluated.
2. 20 sec. how and what you started saying.
3. 20 cm of smile and charm.

6 rules of Gleb Zheglov:

1. Show sincere interest in the interlocutor.
2. Smile.
3. Remember the person’s name and don’t forget to repeat it in conversation from time to time.
4. Be able to listen.
5. Conduct a conversation in the circle of interests of your interlocutor.
6. Treat him with respect.

How to increase the usefulness of a contact:

1. Be observant;
2. Make a compliment;
3. Talk about your interlocutor's problems.

Rules for effective communication according to Black:

1. Always insist on the truth.
2. Building messages is simple and clear.
3. Don't embellish, don't overcharge.
4. Remember that 1/2 of the audience are women.
5. Make communication fun and avoid boredom and routine.
6. Control the form of communication and avoid extravagance.
7. Take the time to find out the general opinion.
8. Remember the need for continuous communication and finding out common opinion.
9. Try to be convincing at every stage of communication.

As a result you will get:

1. Formal contact develops into normal human communication.
2. You will win over your interlocutor.
3. You will increase your self-esteem.

TECHNIQUES FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Let's look at some of the effective communication techniques and the importance of using them in more detail.

First impression(first 20 sec.)

The first impression of a person depends 38% on the sound of the voice, 55% on visual sensations (body language) and only 7% on the verbal component. Of course, the first impression is not always the final verdict, but it is important that from the very beginning communication is built on its basis. Therefore, it is important to be able to produce good impression on others.

To safely get through the “minefield” of the first 20 seconds, you need to use the “Rule of Three Pluses.”

Experts have noticed: in order to win over your interlocutor from the very beginning of an acquaintance or conversation, you need to give him at least three psychological “pluses”, in other words, give pleasant “gifts” to his Child three times (The same applies to the end of a conversation or meeting).

There are, of course, many possible “pluses”, but the most universal of them are: a compliment, a smile, the name of the interlocutor and raising his importance.

Compliment

At first glance, a compliment is the simplest thing in communication. But to do it masterfully is the highest art.

There are three types of compliments:

1. Indirect compliment. We praise not the person himself, but what is dear to him: a hunter - a gun, a “mad” on dogs - his pet, a parent - a child, etc. It is enough, when you go to a female boss’s office, to casually notice how tastefully the furnishings are chosen and how comfortable you feel here, in order to earn some favor with yourself.

2. Compliment “minus-plus”. We first give the interlocutor a small “minus”. For example, “Perhaps I cannot say that you good worker... You are an indispensable specialist for us!” After the “minus”, a person is lost and is ready to be indignant, and then, in contrast, something very flattering is said to him. Psychological condition reminiscent of the sensations of a person balancing on the edge of an abyss: first - horror from the thought of death, and then - indescribable joy: “Alive!” Psychologists consider such a compliment to be the most emotional and memorable, but, like everything powerful, it is risky. If the “minus” turns out to be stronger than the “plus”, the consequences could be disastrous for us.

3. The person is compared to something most precious to the person giving the compliment. “I would like to have a son as responsible as you!” This compliment is the subtlest and most pleasant for the interlocutor. But the scope of its application is limited:

In order not to look artificial, the existence of loved ones and trust relationships between interlocutors.

A partner should know how important to us is what we are comparing with.

The hardest thing about a compliment is to respond to it appropriately. This cannot be done right away, otherwise the person, even if he is not offended, will not want to compliment us another time. General scheme may be as follows: “It’s thanks to you!” All art consists in the ability to vary it gracefully. In other words, it is necessary to return the psychological “plus” to the person who gave it to us. At the same time, it is important to praise the interlocutor for his positive traits, and not because he was so good: he praised us, noticed the good in us.

Smile

A smile is an expression of a good attitude towards the interlocutor, a psychological “plus”, the answer to which is the interlocutor’s disposition towards us. A sincere, friendly smile cannot spoil a single face, and the vast majority of them make them more attractive.

It is advisable to accustom yourself to having a warm, friendly smile, or at least a readiness for it, become the usual expression on your face. This is exactly what your smile should be – open and sincere.

Remember the name of the interlocutor

The very sound of a name has a great impact on a person. During conflicts, wanting to relieve their severity, people subconsciously begin to use the names of their interlocutors more often. Often we need not so much to insist on our own, but to see that people are listening to us, and to hear our name at the same time. Often a name is the decisive straw for things to turn out in our favor. A manager who wants to make a good impression can use the following technique: keep a notebook and write down the names of all his business partners and subordinates and sometimes look at it so that he can address him by name when meeting. It leaves a lasting impression on people that a person much higher in the ranks remembers them by name.

Person's name – this is the most important sound for him in any language.

Raising the importance of the interlocutor

We all want to feel significant, so that at least something depends on us.

The need to feel important is one of the most natural and characteristic human weaknesses, characteristic of these people to one degree or another. And sometimes it is enough to give a person the opportunity to realize his own significance so that he will happily agree to do what we ask.

Any employee wants others to value his work, recognize his employment, usefulness and indispensability. Therefore, it never hurts us, when turning to him, to apologize for the “disturbance caused,” although fulfilling our request is included in the scope of his “official duties.”

Of course, there are thousands of means of raising the importance of an interlocutor; everyone chooses the most suitable one for a given situation. But there are also universal remedies that can be called truly magical words.

For example, the phrase “I would like to consult with you!” People read them like this: “They want to consult with me. I am needed! I am significant! Well, why not help this person? Of course, this phrase - general formula, all art consists in the ability to vary it, to look for the most appropriate words for the situation.

The main thing is to sincerely ask the person for one or another help.

Raising the importance of your interlocutor can become a universal key to his soul only if this is done sincerely.

Listening skills

Rule 1: “The best conversationalist is not the one who knows how to speak well, but the one who knows how to listen well.”

Rule 2: “People tend to listen to others only after they have listened to them.”

So, if we want to be listened to, we must first listen to the other person.

There are special techniques for understanding listening that everyone can learn:

Non-reflective listening– this is listening without analysis (reflection), giving the interlocutor the opportunity to speak out. It consists of the ability to be silent attentively. All you need to do is maintain the flow of your interlocutor’s speech, trying to get him to speak out completely.

Finding out - This is an appeal to the speaker for some clarification. The essence of this technique is that the listener, when a misunderstanding arises, a phrase is unclear, or a word is ambiguous, asks “clarifying” questions. This technique allows you to eliminate misunderstanding, as they say, “in the bud.” Clarification is useful in cases where we need to accurately understand the position of the interlocutor, when the slightest inaccuracy can lead to negative consequences; when a person speaks confusingly, does not make the necessary explanations, jumps from one thing to another, because clarification helps in this case to understand the essence of the story. Clarification also helps the speaker. “Clarifying” questions show the speaker that he is being listened to (which naturally gives confidence), and after the necessary explanations, he can be sure that he is understood.

Paraphrase- means to say the same thought, but slightly differently. This technique helps us make sure how accurately we have “deciphered” the interlocutor’s words, and move on with the confidence that everything has still been understood correctly. Paraphrasing is an almost universal technique. It can be used both in business conversation and in personal communication.

Summary - this is a summary. The essence of this listening technique is that we summarize the main thoughts of the interlocutor in our own words. A summary phrase is the speech of the interlocutor in a “collapsed” form, its main idea. Summarizing is fundamentally different from paraphrasing, the essence of which is to repeat every thought of the interlocutor, but in our own words, which shows him our attentiveness and understanding. When summarizing, only the main idea stands out from an entire part of the conversation.

Reflection of feelings– this is the desire to show the interlocutor that we understand his feelings. How pleasant it can be to talk with a sensitive interlocutor who shares our emotions and experiences, not paying attention to the content of the speech, the essence of which sometimes has no special meaning for ourselves.

UNDERSTANDING NONVERBAL MESSAGES

Nonverbal communication is a non-verbal form of communication that includes gestures, facial expressions, postures, visual contact, timbre of voice, touch and conveys figurative and emotional content. Nonverbal communication is a type of communication without the use of words.

Observations have shown that in communication processes 60%-95% of information is transmitted through non-verbal communication.

Friendly Eyes: Even when you're just making casual conversation, someone who's close to you will often look at you, especially when you're talking. Psychologists use the expression “eating with your eyes” to describe this - it means looking continuously at another person, especially in his face, but not always making eye contact.

It is worth considering that, for example, women not only tend to “eat with the eyes” of their interlocutor more, but also have a more positive attitude towards the fact that they are looked at a lot. Men in general are relatively less likely to allow themselves to be looked at frequently, even as a sign of warmth and friendship.

Warm intonations: we always monitor the timbre and intonation of the voice as a means of expressing the emotional content of the words we hear, and in a conversation we can distinguish them from the meaning of the words themselves. Your voice is better at expressing positive than negative emotions, and you've probably found out that someone likes you based on intonation alone. By the way, scientists say that this is the easiest way to determine whether they are trying to mislead you or whether they are speaking directly and frankly.

Warmth of touch. Touching another person in a non-sexual way, say on the arm or shoulder, is a powerful means of conveying warmth and affection. When there is no reason that it will be perceived negatively, do not be shy about touching if it comes naturally to you. Those who know how to touch their interlocutor in conversation are usually perceived as sweet and attractive, but you need to be very attentive to the possible reaction of the other person.

Mirror reflection (positional echo) is another sign by which we can confidently say that two people get along well with each other. Having observed how people stand, sit, and move, you can notice their tendency to imitate each other so much that it seems as if they are one person reflected in the mirror. This process occurs at the subconscious level; it is based on a non-verbal message: “Look, I’m just like you.” By unobtrusively copying some of a person’s gestures, it is easier to win him over, calm him down and relax him.

Gestures and postures: it is very important for a person to properly control his body and convey, with the help of facial expressions and gestures, exactly the information that is required in a given situation. Posture during a conversation means a lot: interest in the conversation, subordination, desire for joint activities, etc.

Table 1. The meaning of some gestures and postures

In many cases, body language can be called the language of friendship. However, there are situations in our lives when people’s gestures begin to mean the exact opposite. But many of us are not brave enough to say directly to another person's face that we are not happy to meet and want to be left alone. Therefore, it is worth learning to recognize negative signals.

What do we mean by the word “effective communication”? Effective communication is more than just conveying information. In order for communication to be effective, it is important not only to be able to speak, but also to be able to listen, hear and understand what the interlocutor is saying. Unfortunately, no one probably taught us the art of communication. Yes, of course, they explained to us how to write and read, but they did not teach us how to listen and speak. Everyone develops these abilities independently, learning from the people who surround us (primarily parents). It is quite possible that you adopted the communication style of your parents as a child, but this manner or form of communication may not always be effective.

Communication is an integral part of our life. We communicate constantly, even when we are silent (through our gestures, movements, facial expressions). So let communication become even more effective!

LITERATURE

1. E.I. Rogov “Psychology of Communication”, M: “Vlados”, 2001.
2. Yu.S. Krizhanskaya, V.P. Tretyakov “Grammar of Communication”, M: “Sense” 1999.
3. Graudina L.K., Shiryaev E.N. “The culture of Russian speech and the effectiveness of communication”, M: Nauka, 1996.
4. Trenev N.N. Conflict Management. M.: PRIOR, 1999.

The ability to communicate with representatives of different cultural groups, whatever forms it takes, verbal or non-verbal, is especially important characteristic, which an international manager must have. Even between people belonging to the same culture, communication can go wrong. The likelihood of communication problems increases significantly when communication occurs between people representing different cultural groups. In this case, the source of the message encodes it using his cultural filter, and the recipient deciphers the same message using his filter. The result of using different cultural filters in many cases is a misunderstanding of the meaning of the message, the consequences of which can be quite expensive to correct. For example, the terms of the contract between Boeing and the Japanese supplier required fuselage panels to be “polished to a mirror finish.”

The labor costs for the polishing workers were much higher than expected because they were told to polish the panels until they were perfectly polished when Boeing simply wanted panels with a shiny finish.15

Nonverbal communication. Members of society communicate with each other using more than just words. In fact, according to some researchers, 80 to 90% of all information is transmitted between members of the same cultural group using non-linguistic means.16 Nonverbal communication includes such methods of conveying information as facial expressions, hand gestures, intonation, eye contact, body position (posture) and posture. Although virtually all members of a society quickly recognize and understand well the nonverbal forms of communication accepted in the culture of a given society, people who do not belong to this culture often have difficulty perceiving such forms of communication of information. In table Table 4.1 lists some common forms of nonverbal communication.

Using nonverbal forms of communication in a different cultural environment can lead to misunderstandings. For example, in the United States, people discussing business at receptions stand 20 inches apart. IN Saudi Arabia The normal distance between people is considered to be 9 to 10 inches. When an American businessman communicates with his Saudi Arabian partner at a business reception, the American responds to the latter’s polite attempts to come closer by politely moving further away. Each of them acts politely in the context of his own culture, but these same actions in the context of the interlocutor are offensive.17

There are also differences in how gestures and facial expressions are interpreted by different cultures. A vertical head nod means "yes" in the United States and "no" in Bulgaria. In America, connecting the thumb and index finger into a ring, while extending the remaining three fingers, means saying “OK”; the same gesture symbolizes money in Japan, uselessness in France, refers to homosexuals in Malta, and denotes some kind of vulgarity in many parts of Eastern Europe.18 Needless to say, businessmen who are engaged in international business activities should avoid using gestures , except in those cases when they are sure that they know well the meaning of a particular gesture in a given cultural environment.

Even silence has specific value. Americans do not like to remain silent in meetings or during private conversations, because, in their opinion, silence indicates an inability to carry on a conversation or express one's point of view. In Japan, silence simply means that a person is brooding or that further conversation would be inappropriate. American businessmen negotiating with Japanese partners often misunderstand their silence and, in order to end the pause in the discussion, make concessions on the terms of contracts when this is not necessary.19 Attitudes towards silence also influence management style. In the United States, a good leader is one who solves problems himself. Consequently, American managers often strive for leadership in the process.

Table 4.1

forms of nonverbal communication

Hand gestures, both intentional and involuntary (such as nervous rubbing of hands) Facial expressions (smiles, furrowed eyebrows, yawning)

Posture and pose.og.vedio jugdls’

Clothing style and hairstyle (both clothes and hairstyle are objects of modern fashion)

Physical distance between communicators Touching

Eye contact and direction of gaze, especially in the “listening manner” Room architecture and interior design

"Artifacts" and non-verbal symbols such as lapel pins, canes and jewelry

Graphic symbols, such as pictures indicating women's and men's restrooms, or

"handle with care" notices on boxes

Artistic and rhetorical forms (for example, wedding dance)

Smells (sense of smell), including body odor or perfume

Speech rate, tone and volume 1

Color symbolism

Synchronization of speech and movement

Taste, symbolism of the eating process, communication over a cup of coffee or tea; smoking or chewing gum "jiT.vj/! ^

Cosmetics; temporary (powder and lipstick) and permanent (tattoos) ‘

Various signals: fire alarm, police siren, factory horn Time symbols: time of day at which a call is made or a visit is made to a friend;

duration of a conversation or dinner at a party Verbal behavior: timing and pauses t legs/ad = (ushcc.s.g.m -m-gte s Silence

Source: Reproduced with permission from Simon & Schuster Inc., An Introduction to Intercultural Communication by John C, Condon and Fathi Yousef.

Copyrighte1975 by Macmillan College Publishing Company, Inc.

all collective discussion of a particular problem, thereby demonstrating their competence and leadership skills. In Japan good leader encourages his subordinates to seek a solution that would be acceptable to all parties related to a particular problem. That is why the Japanese manager demonstrates his leadership qualities through silence, which, in turn, stimulates the active participation of subordinates in solving the problem, and also helps to achieve consensus among group members.20

Gifts and hospitality. Giving gifts and hospitality is a way of communication that has great importance in many business cultures. Japanese Business Etiquette requires attention and hospitality towards business partners. Gourmet treats, rich lunches, and a variety of entertainment after business meetings are used to establish personal connections between negotiators, as well as to achieve

agreement in a group of businessmen. Personal ties are further strengthened through the exchange of gifts, the content of which depends on the status of the giver and recipient of the gift, as well as on the occasion for which the gift is given. It is customary to open business gifts alone so that the giver's prestige will not be damaged if the gift is too expensive or too cheap compared to the gift given in return.21 Because the rules for giving gifts can be quite complex (even for native Japanese), there are special

books that describe the rules of etiquette in this matter. These books contain details

describes what gifts should be given and for what occasion.

Arab businessmen, like Japanese ones, take special care to cooperate with prospective business partners; business qualities the people they deal with are as important to them as the quality of the project itself. Therefore, the business culture in Arab countries also involves gift-giving and refined, lavish hospitality used to evaluate the merits of potential partners. However, unlike in Japan, gifts are opened in the presence of other people so that everyone in the meeting can appreciate the generosity of the giver.23

Hospitality standards also determine the ways in which bad news is conveyed. different cultures. In the United States of America, bad news is usually conveyed to the recipient immediately. In Korea, bad news is reported at the end of the day so as not to ruin the whole day for the person who receives the news. Moreover, in order not to spoil personal relationships, sometimes only a hint of bad news is made. In Japan, there is a strong emphasis on achieving consensus among project participants, so bad news is often communicated informally, from a junior member of one negotiating team to a junior member of another team. Often the best way is the transmission of bad news through third parties; this method helps maintain agreement in the group.24

A modern person strives to be successful everywhere - both at work and in personal life. Career, family, friends - all these are components of life, and effective communication allows you to improve all areas and come to maximum agreement. Everyone should strive to improve their social skills. Even if difficulties arise initially, over time this knowledge will bring well-deserved results - reliable interpersonal connections.

Definition of communication

Different ways of transmitting information from one person to another are called communication. It includes all the variety of channels for transmitting and decoding signals and can be:

• verbal;
• non-verbal;
• written;
• pictographic;
• spatial-symbolic, etc.

Communication is considered effective when the sender of information communicates on the same wavelength as the recipient. However, even communication in a single sign system does not guarantee that the message will be correctly deciphered.

Effective communication minimizes the loss of meaning of the message. To successfully promote a business, to maintain friendships, and for a vibrant personal life, it will be useful for any person to improve their communication skills.

Basics of Effective Communication

Communication as a banal exchange of information is already present in the simplest animals. Man, in the process of evolution, has brought communication to perfection. Spoken language developed and gradually expanded to written, symbolic and figurative. However, this process has made understanding difficult and effective communication becomes a separate object studying.

The communication process includes five elements:

1. A communicator is someone who conveys information.
2. Contents of the message.
3. The method of transmitting information (how it is carried out).
4. The audience, or recipient, is who the message is intended for.
5. The final stage of communication, which allows us to understand whether effective communication has taken place. It is only possible if the previous four are sufficiently satisfactory.

Principles of Effective Communication

Without positive communication, it is impossible to achieve mutual understanding on any issue. In order to make sure that other people correctly perceive outgoing information, it is necessary to comply with a number of requirements.

First of all, you need to pay attention to the principles effective communication:

1. Communication should be two-way. When all participants are interested in a positive outcome of the conversation, and it is equal for them, the desired effect occurs.
2. The recipient must make every effort to correctly perceive the message.
3. The message must be clear, structured and concise.
4. The recipient must trust the speaker, respect his opinion and not question his competence.
5. Effective communication is always emotional, to the extent that is acceptable in a given situation.
6. Patience and forbearance towards other people's shortcomings. Accepting people as they are, without trying to adjust or fix anything.

Below we will discuss the main conditions for effective communication.

How to achieve a positive effect from communication?

For communication to be considered effective, certain conditions must be met:

1. Speech must correspond to the original purpose of the conversation and be adequate. Don't talk too much or bring up issues that have nothing to do with the topic being discussed. This improves effective communication skills.
2. The words used must be logical and lexically accurate; this is very important to achieve the goal of communication. Achieved through constant self-education, reading various literature and careful attention to the native language.
3. The narrative itself should be logical and competent. A clear structure of presentation creates favorable conditions for listeners and increases the chances of a positive outcome.

Effective Communication Techniques

Any person lives in society and is dependent on it. Even the most desperate homebodies, perhaps not directly, but enter into interpersonal relationships. Effective communication will be useful both for work and for everyday social connections. Communication techniques and skills can be developed and improved - this will make anyone's life much easier.

Do you want to receive positivity in the process of communication? It will be useful for you to learn some techniques for increasing the effectiveness of communication:

1. Learn to listen carefully to what they say. You should not just look at the interlocutor during a conversation, but also bend slightly, nod your head, and ask appropriate leading questions. This technique will allow you to understand the interlocutor’s point of view as accurately as possible.
2. Be clear, concise and to the point. The more clearly a thought is formulated, the more likely it is that it will be understood and perceived correctly.
3. Include in your arsenal not only verbal, but also non-verbal communication. Take the same position as the interlocutor, try to use only open gestures, and do not touch your face during the conversation.
4. Watch for the emotional coloring of speech. It should be moderate, but so much so that the interlocutor understands your interest in the issue.
5. Mastering techniques to control your voice allows you to accelerate the development of effective communication. Clear articulation, correct timbre and adjusted volume will make any message positive.
6. Master technical means of communication. Any adult must be able to use the telephone, fax, Skype, and email. Written communication skills should be developed regularly.

These are just basic techniques designed to facilitate and improve interpersonal communication.

Rules for Effective Communication

Anything must meet certain standards. Their violation leads to a lack of understanding between interlocutors, conflicts and even a breakdown in relationships.

Rules for effective communication:

1. Speak the other person's language. This rule should be understood as the need to take into account the level of education, social status, age and other parameters. To be heard and understood, you need to formulate your thoughts based on the characteristics of the audience.
2. Prepare to communicate. If the conversation is not spontaneous, you should find out in advance who you are going to meet with and for what reason. Take visual materials and technical aids. Develop a conversation plan.
3. Learn active listening techniques to help put your interlocutor at ease and better understand their point of view.
4. Speak clearly, moderately loudly and confidently, do not draw out your words, but do not repeat them either.
5. When writing a letter, stick to the chosen style.
6. Before calling by phone or Skype, make a plan for the conversation and the issues that need to be discussed in advance.

Ways to communicate effectively

To achieve mutual understanding in the communication process, it is necessary to create conditions and take into account possible ways effective communication. There are six of them in total:

1. Strive to express your thoughts as convincingly as possible. Always keep it short and to the point, avoid unnecessary clutter, omissions and possible double interpretations.
2. Use terminology and professionalism only when they are appropriate.
3. Even in everyday communication, jargon and slang expressions should be avoided, especially when it comes to intergenerational communication.
4. Avoid excessive emotional stress, both positive and negative.
5. Try to address yourself personally, by name, scientific or military rank, or by uniting a group of interlocutors with a generally meaningful word.
6. Always follow etiquette.

Nonverbal cues to improve communication

The interlocutors perceive each other not only by ear. Verbal impact can be increased or decreased by a variety of nonverbal cues. Our body sends them to large quantities, and other people read and interpret them on a subconscious level.

To improve, it will be useful to master the techniques of positive nonverbal reinforcement:

1. Always be clean and tidy: even if your clothing does not exactly comply with the dress code, the overall impression of the conversation will be positive.
2. Try to control your facial expressions and emotions. Facial expression should be neutral-positive and react with changes depending on the flow of the conversation.
3. Avoid touching your face during a communicative act - this is subconsciously perceived as an attempt to cover your mouth, and accordingly, your statement is false.
4. Learn to “mirror” the body position of your interlocutor. It is important to do this delicately, without excessive zeal, so as not to look like a caricature.
5. Avoid “closed” poses - crossed arms and legs. This body position indicates an unpreparedness for effective communication. While open palms and a friendly smile can win over any interlocutor.

Conditions for effective communication using technical means

Technological progress has given us new means to facilitate communication. These are telephones, faxes, the Internet. Communication using technology should be built according to the same rules and principles as interpersonal communication. All rules of etiquette and principles of conducting business and personal conversations must be observed.